Chapter 6

I had this weird dream that everybody in my school turned to stone. I had to weave through them to keep from bumping into them. I seemed to be even clumsier than usual and scraped up against them again and again until I was bleeding all over the floor. I couldn't afford to miss math class because it was the only part of the day that made sense. But Chastity was frozen right in the doorway with her arms out and her mouth open. I couldn't get past. I tried pushing her over, but she was too heavy. Then my hands slipped because of all the blood and I stabbed my face on her hand. The pain was so intense that I fell to the ground, but then all the statues starting falling on top of me, crushing me so I couldn't breathe.

I woke up gasping for air. I had to go into the bathroom and strip my pajamas off so I could see that I wasn't wounded and bleeding. I didn't even feel my usual disgust at the flabitude of my body, just relief that I wasn't really bleeding to death.

You will understand what school was like when I tell you that the dream was the best part of my day.

People no longer tried to convince me that guns were good, bad, or anything else. There were no more arguments. Instead there was just the unremitting stream of whispers. I tried not to hear them, but they followed me everywhere. Gay porn was shoved in my locker along with other messier things. Feet magically appeared in front of me, hands pushed me from behind. I would carry everything in my bag to protect it from the toxic waste dump that my locker had become. But all that weight made me top heavy and easy to knock over.

I spent more and more time picking up stuff that was scattered all over the senior's hall. My books and clothes looked like I'd stolen them out of a dumpster. I gave up carrying books at all, but I still needed to carry my gym clothes and jacket now that the weather was getting colder.

I walked into civics and took my seat. Mr Sheldon had finally decided the week before mid-terms that it was time to try to teach something. There was no discussion, just his voice droning on and on about electoral process and government accompanied by the furious scratching of pens.

"You aren't taking notes, Petunia?" Mr. Sheldon said. He stood above me frowning down at me. I just stared at him, then finally shook my head. He frowned even deeper. "This is important stuff. It may be the most important class you take." I just shook my head again. It was just too much work to explain that I remembered what he said better if I didn't take notes.

When the bell rang, I let everyone else leave first before I headed off to gym. We were doing gymnastics now so there wasn't much excuse for physical contact, but I sucked at gymnastics even more than I sucked at basketball. I managed a bruise or a sprain just about every period. This time it was my wrist as I tried a cartwheel and Chastity who was supposed to spot me, let me crash to the floor. Miss Philps just sighed and gave me a bag of ice to put on it.

I sat slumped against the wall and watched the rest of the girls. The cheerleaders were impossibly graceful. They twirled and danced and did things on the beam and the bars that made my insides clench just thinking about it. Even the worst girl out there was worlds better than me.

"Stop staring at me, freak," Chastity whispered out of the side of her mouth. "If I fall because of you, I swear I'll kill you." I tried not to, but her confidence pulled my eyes to her. She was trying a back flip on the beam with not just one but two spotters. Miss Philps watched. Chastity did the flip and landed almost perfectly on the beam. Then for some reason she looked over at me. Our eyes met for a second and her other foot missed the beam. She crashed to the mat and screamed as something in her leg snapped. The other girls crowded around and oohed and aahed while Chastity continued to scream. Miss Philps sent a girl to the office to call for help.

A little while later two paramedics came in and took her away on a stretcher. I could hear her cries slowly fade as they took her down the hall. The other girls huddled around, some of them crying. One of them looked over at me and glared.

"It's her fault," she said.

The whole crowd came over and stood around me. Miss Philps was nowhere to be seen, and an ugly buzz was going through the mob of girls. Two of them grabbed my feet and took my arms. I screamed when they pulled at my sprained wrist, but one of them stuffed a cloth in my mouth. They dragged me in to the shower and pushed me under the cold water. When I tried to escape one would kick me back into the water. One by one the girls showered and changed while a few stood guard over me.

They turned the shower off finally and I lay shivering on the floor.

"Give me your clothes," one of them said, but my teeth were chattering so hard I couldn't talk. I couldn't make my arms or legs work at all.

So they tore my clothes off me, then took my dry clothes and stuffed them into the toilets. Even my winter coat and shoes and backpack.

"Freak," one said, and as if that were some signal, they all left chattering about their boyfriends and crushes just like nothing had happened.

All I could do was lie on the floor. I cried and shook. I tried to decide whether it would be better to just die, or to have someone find me.

I thought dying was probably the better option. At least I wouldn't have to come to school tomorrow.