Chapter 12: (2) Chapter 2: A liar, a ninja, a pixie-

Summary: Motivated, miffed, and magical, Shikamaru Nara was a force to behold. Whoever had placed him here was going to get it, but first he'd have to get through a school for magic. And he'd thought ninjas could be stupid. Troublesome.

Rating: T, and should stay that way.

Genres: Friendship, Adventure, Hurt/Comfort, maybe more, I don't know yet.

Warnings: Violence, language, SPOILERS FOR NARUTO AND HARRY POTTER, tiny bit of angst in the beginning, non-canon-ness, warnings are individual per chapter, might change next chapter or might not. No slash or yaoi, yuri, Shounen Ai, or Shōjo Ai. Incest remains off the table.

Pairings: As far as romance goes, it's canon for both series. Friendship!Shikamaru/Harry&Ron&Hermione&Neville&Fred&George. Mentorship(maybe)!Snape/Shikamaru. I might add more later, if I think of it.

"Speech"

Emphasis on words, writing

Times

(#) A/N at end to explain stuff

Regular text

Chapter Summary: Shikamaru deals with a few potential headaches, tries - and fails - to take a nap, and "incompetent" takes on a whole new meaning with Lockhart's lesson.

A Shadow in Wizard's Robes Book 2 Chapter 2: A liar, a ninja, and a pixie all walk into a classroom...

By: AngelicSilverWolf

'Being ignorant is not so much a shame, as being unwilling to learn.' - Benjamin Franklin

Age 6: Five years before Hogwarts.

Shikamaru was sick. With what could possibly be the flu. Damn the world and himself for thinking he could do this. He hadn't been ill in years, years. It was the level of illness where it would take forever to recover from, the first few days being hell.

He had a slight temperature, a perpetual headache, nausea, and nearly no energy. So, maybe he should see a doctor. Right. As if. He'd just recover on his own, away from other people. It wasn't like anyone would take him to see one anyway. The last time he'd been sick was when he was a teen and dating Temari.

He'd shown up at her house to go on a mission with a high fever and a slightly delusional mind. She'd called him an idiot, and had proceeded to take care of him for the next four days as he recovered. Of course, the close proximity had increased her chances of catching what he'd had, and she had. She had not been amused. Actually, neither had he been. Retribution was a bitch.

He lay curled up in his bed with a glass of water on the nightstand beside him. One of the nicer - younger - children had brought it to him when he'd missed breakfast because he been up during the night vomiting into the toilet (doctors were looking pretty good right about now). He drifted off to sleep and dreamed about his wife and son, both of whom gave him equal looks of exasperation. All throughout the night, he was treated by his family, and he was happy. It was peaceful, it was nice, and it felt real.

He woke up the next morning with an aching heart and a healed body. Never mind his strange recovery that he would think on later, he missed his family, dammit.

He wanted to go home. (1)

…

Present:

Ron and Harry were missing. School hadn't even started yet, and trouble was happening. This was shaping up to be a fantastic year already. Hermione clearly thought so too, for she alternated between worrying at her bottom lip and trying to focus on the Sorting. Actually, come to think of it, Snape was missing too.

That... probably didn't mean anything good. Shikamaru watched the Sorting go by, noting how distracted McGonagall was. As soon as the Sorting was finished, McGonagall rushed out of the hall, startling a few students in her haste to leave. Honestly...did teachers not know the meaning of subtle? No wonder everyone always knew those "top secret" happenings that went on in the castle. Even Dumbledore didn't seem half as cheerful and twinkly as usual, if Shikamaru hadn't been trained, he probably wouldn't have noticed. As soon as the food was distributed, he turned to Hermione.

"What do you think?" he asked. She frowned slightly.

"I don't know; it probably has to do with why Harry and Ron are late. Do you think they're okay? Maybe they're hurt," she said. Neville shook his head.

"If it's them, they probably caused whatever is happening and are fine," he disagreed. Shikamaru was inclined to agree, but that was when the whispers broke out.

"-heard there was a car involved! A flying one!"

"That Potter never can do anything by halves."

"Wesley was there too-"

"A flying car?" Hermione repeated in horror. She locked eyes with Shikamaru, who nodded grimly. Statute of Secrecy broken, potentially.

"Think Dad and Mum have found out?" Fred - from a couple seats over - asked his twin casually. George grinned.

"I don't envy our younger brother if what people are saying is true," he said. Percy scowled at them.

"This isn't funny!" he hissed furiously. His blue eyes were dark with anger. Ginny - the newest Weasley - eyed him fearfully.

"What's so bad if they did?" Dean interjected. "It's just a car."

"That's a law for a reason!" Hermione said, swelling up in righteous indignation. "The Statute of Secrecy-"

She was cut off as another student started theorizing on why and how Harry and Ron had gotten a flying car. Actually, that was a good point. How had the two gained access to a flying car? They certainly didn't have the skill to do it themselves. Shikamaru noticed the Weasley siblings exchanging knowing glances.

"What?" Hermione asked, surprisingly cluing in.

"Well," Fred started sheepishly.

"Our dad sort of enchanted a car to fly," George butted in.

"'Sort of'?" Hermione blinked at them incredulously. "How does one 'sort of' make a car fly?"

"Well, they start by adding a ton of levitation charms," George began, when Percy's slightly alarming noises turned into outright spluttering.

Shikamaru turned away from the impending argument as someone said, "Hey, isn't that Gilderoy Lockhart? What's he doing here? Shouldn't he be off writing more books?"

Multiple heads turned, and Hermione and a number of other girls squealed while Shikamaru and a group of boys groaned.

"Oh no," Neville said.

"Oh, yes!" Parvati said happily. "He's so much more handsome in person!" Dean and Seamus mimed vomiting and choking next to her.

"But what's he doing here? In Hogwarts? I didn't peg him for a teacher type," Neville said reasonably. "Also, wasn't he late? I didn't see him earlier." Dinner continued on in this vein until the deserts were cleared away, and Dumbledore stood up.

"Now, as many of you might have noticed, we have a new arrival," he said, eyes twinkling as several girls squealed when Lockhart smiled winningly. "Mister Lockhart will be taking over the post of the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor for the year, as we have run into a vacancy."

"Vacancy is one word for it," Shikamaru said dryly. He shook his head. He didn't know what the headmaster was thinking. The man was most probably a complete fake - no one who had been in so many life-threatening situations could come out so arrogant and self-absorbed, especially if it had been to help half as many people as he claimed. He tuned out the usual warnings and stood up with the rest to go to the dormitories.

Somehow, he and Hermione got separated from the rest of the Gryffindors - by talking and not paying attention - and ran into Ron and Harry outside the portrait hole, both looking happy and apprehensive to see them. Hermione, somewhat predictably, started in on them immediately.

"Where have you been? There's been the most ridiculous rumors-" she began furiously, when Ron cut her off impatiently.

"Yeah, yeah, what's the password?" he asked.

"'Wattlebird, but that isn't the point-" she said, only to get cut off again as the portrait swung open. Immediately, there was a slew of people pulling Harry and Ron inside with cheers and grins, while Hermione was left to stew in disapproval and Shikamaru to sighing.

"C'mon," he said wearily. With pursed lips and lowered eyebrows, she followed him inside, only to listen to the stream of approval from their housemates.

"It's like they don't even care that Harry and Ron just broke a law!" she hissed angrily, watching the two boys grin and blush. "I mean, it's so irresponsible to encourage that kind of behavior!"

"They aren't thinking of the consequences of what they could have done, Hermione," Shikamaru said quietly. "They just broke a school rule, and they're too young to realize that it could have had serious repercussions for the Wizarding World."

"What do you mean?" she asked, clearly having only thought about the law-breaking and subsequent flouting of being free of serious punishment. Shikamaru sighed again. How to explain simply, and yet not scare her badly...

"Alright, so the Statute of Secrecy is clearly in place for a reason. One being, even though wizards claim it's so that muggles don't bother us, it's because they acknowledge that they're a threat - either because of their frankly ridiculous population, or because of their advances in science and technology. Based on the arrogance of most wizards, I'm going with the former.

Honestly though, non-magicals can treat different people pretty badly. Ever hear of human experimentation?" He continued at her slight nod. "Well, there are some people who could and would do anything to get their hands on something like magic. They would probably even succeed. I don't want an innocent child getting cut open just because someone discovered magic and decided to explore it." Hermione looked a little sick. And he was sorry for doing that to her, but she needed to think beyond just rule breaking being a bad thing and actual consequences that could affect her.

"But... couldn't the wizards stop them? I mean..." she trailed off weakly. He gave her a flat look.

"Do you honestly think a wizard could react in time to stop a bullet? Or that they could defend themselves from twenty hired-guns at a time, especially if they're an untrained child?" he asked. She looked down. "Obviously, there would be fighting back and large casualties on both sides, but muggles have chemical warfare and atomic bombs. I don't think they would lose if we got into a war, despite our magical creatures." For the Sage's sake - they'd had enough trouble from the two Dark Lords of the last century, and respectively speaking, compared to either of the World Wars or even Vietnam, the casualties caused by them hadn't been very high. The Ministry had Aurors, yes, but compared to the SBS or other specialized teams, they weren't very impressive.

Hermione was silent for the rest of the time he was down there - not much longer because the celebrations were giving him a headache - and she seemed out of it when he said goodnight. In the dorm, Shikamaru found Harry and Ron already asleep, grins on their faces. He shook his head. They would be in for a rude awakening the next day, whether it be because of Hermione's disapproval or his own.

…

They felt awful. He could see it on their faces. He refrained from scolding further; the Howler had been enough. Hermione apparently came to the same conclusion as she didn't give them much grief for their stunt with the car. Her half-hearted admonition was interrupted by McGonagall handing out schedules.

First class was double Herbology with the Hufflepuffs, for which Shikamaru was grateful since they weren't liable to rile Harry and Ron up for the Howler. Unfortunately, when they came to the greenhouse, Lockhart was there, chatting to a disgruntled Professor Sprout. She irritably told them their greenhouse and then escaped from the man's attention - which had been refocused on Harry. The man hadn't done any more than say, "Harry!" when Shikamaru took hold of Harry's elbow and dragged him into relative safety of the greenhouse, leaving Hermione to give Lockhart an apologetic and adoring look.

No way was Shikamaru leaving a friend alone with that man any more than he had to. Stupidity was contagious.

"Shikamaru! That was so rude! Professor Lockhart wanted to talk with Harry," Hermione hissed as she caught up.

"No, he wanted to talk at him. Harry wouldn't have been able to get a word in edgewise," Shikamaru corrected flatly. The man actually reminded him of a certain blond Hufflepuff that claimed he was descended from Helga herself. Smit? Smithe? "Either way, we have class."

Hermione backed off at that, but her disapproving frown proved that the argument wasn't over. Shikamaru turned his attention to the pairs of earmuffs that sat waiting as Professor Sprout started the lesson. Mandrakes, hm? While not quite as well versed in plants as he was with animals (that was all Neville's territory), he found it interesting that they let a few kids handle these plants. They probably weren't - yes, they weren't fully grown so no one would die if someone's hand slipped. Maybe he could use it on Lockhart and then he wouldn't have to go to his class.

Shikamaru dutifully put on a pair of earmuffs, depriving some poor soul of ones that weren't pink and fluffy, and watched Professor Sprout pull up a Mandrake. It was, without a doubt, the ugliest baby-looking-thing that he had ever had the displeasure of seeing. He watched a little enviously as Professor Sprout easily re-potted the squalling plant and removed his earmuffs at the thumbs up. The rest of the class was spent placing the plants into their pots. Shikamaru discreetly asked Neville if there was an easier way to do the process by way of writing in the soil that inevitably got everywhere. His answer was a rather glum head shake. Resigned to the inevitable, he spent the rest of the class trying to keep his earmuffs on - the Mandrakes were grabby things - and his hands from being bitten.

He didn't particularly want to get some rare infection via plant baby. After Herbology - and after meeting a Hufflepuff named Justin Finch Fletchley - the disaster known as Transfiguration happened to Ron. With his wand that was nearly snapped in half and his determination not to ask for another on pain of Howler from his mother, his magic was debatable at best. Shikamaru would have felt sympathetic for him, but he was actually with Hermione with this. Those two deserved some sort of punishment - Harry had his mental self-flagellation, and Ron had his wand. Neville wisely disappeared from the irate boy's sight, having actually transfigured his own beetle into a button, and not having the sturdiness to deal with his temper like the other three.

"Why have you outlined Lockhart's class in hearts?" Ron demanded, not looking at all like he had...hm, twenty minutes ago. Where had lunch gone?

Hermione flushed furiously and snatched her schedule back. Harry, meanwhile, stared at Hermione, as if wondering how someone so intelligent could admire someone like Lockhart. Shikamaru shared his sentiments. After lunch, they went outside. Hermione cracked open Voyages with Vampires, and Harry and Ron started a conversation about Quidditch.

Shikamaru ignored all of them and lay down for a late nap. He had lots of sleeping to catch up on, even though he'd slept plenty at Neville's. Unfortunately, he didn't get more than five minutes before he felt someone staring at their group. It didn't seem hostile, so he took his time in waking his mind up. As soon as he saw the camera and awestruck first year, he wished he'd been faster about it.

Apparently Harry saw him as well, for a glance from him made the younger boy go red.

"All right, Harry? I'm - I'm Colin Creevey," he said. Shikamaru watched him carefully through slitted eyes, not betraying his awareness. "I'm in Gryffindor, too. Do - do you think it would be okay if I could take your picture?" He raised his camera, as if to accentuate his point.

"A picture?" Harry asked, clearly not understanding. Shikamaru thought he might, but he wanted to be sure.

"So I can prove I've met you," Colin said brightly, moving forward. Shikamaru opened his eyes all the way. "I know all about you. Everyone's told me about how you got rid of and survived You-Know-Who. A-and how you've got the scar and everything." His eyes moved to the very visible scar on Harry's forehead. Shikamaru sat up all the way, interrupting Colin's fervent speech.

"Sorry," Shikamaru said flatly. "As his friend, I won't let him be taken advantage of by people who only care about the Boy-Who-Lived, as opposed to just Harry, the human being and twelve year-old. Come back when you're less interested in the hero and more about the boy."

Everyone gave him a stunned look, Harry most of all. What? Like he would leave Harry to the metaphorical sharks. In his honest opinion - and maybe this was influenced by his training of anonymity - attention was almost never good, no matter how "positive" it was.

Either people looked up to a person and placed them on an impossible pedestal (*coughSasukecough*), and said people became disturbingly nasty when their expectations weren't met, or they gossiped about the person behind their back. And that was the good kind of attention, too. No way in hell was a twelve year-old boy, who already had enough going on in his life, going to face the fickle thing known as the Public under Shikamaru's watch.

Shikamaru sighed at the suspiciously shiny look Colin gave him. He stood up slowly.

"Over here. I'm going to give you some advice," he said. He led the younger boy to a secluded area a few feet away. "First, Harry doesn't actually like attention all that much. Have you ever seen him act like - say, Lockhart?" he asked. Colin paused and thought. Then he slowly shook his head. "Right. Harry's a normal guy that wants to live a normal life. Because of his troublesome past, he most likely won't be able to. I want to give him at least a semi-normal school life." Though, going by their progress so far, that wouldn't be happening.

Colin nodded in understanding, getting the unspoken message that Harry couldn't exactly do that with someone following him around, asking for pictures. "But...can I be friends with him?" he asked a little desperately.

"You'll have to ask him. But, he's a decent guy, he should say 'yes' if you aren't weird about it," Shikamaru replied frankly. He was done with this - he wasn't a relationship counselor. If it was anyone else but Harry, he probably would have let them deal with it on their own. Colin looked enormously relieved. Raised voices caught their attention. Both of them looked over to see-

Ah. Malfoy. Well, that would explain the grumpiness and irritation on the trios' faces. Shikamaru shook his head and wandered over.

"-little man crush!" Malfoy was saying. Shikamaru took a second to wonder how Malfoy knew what that was. Then, he took another second to look at his friends' expressions. Very much Not Happy.

"Shut up!" Ron snapped. Yes, stunning comeback. Point to Gryffindor. Maybe, if Shikamaru didn't find this a little bit amusing, he would be mad enough to join the...argument? His friends clearly couldn't use witticisms to save their lives.

"You're just jealous!" Colin said, suddenly pitching in. Stupid, brave little first year. Were all Gryffindors this...without self preservation? It wasn't the first time Shikamaru wondered this, and it certainly wouldn't be the last. But really, who challenged people twice their size? Impressionable Gryffindors, apparently. It was probably a rite of passage. In order to be a true Gryffindor, one had to pull off a stunningly idiotic and brave stunt (he wondered if the other houses had to deal with something like this. Slytherin - con someone into getting something, Hufflepuff - do a random act of kindness for two people, Ravenclaw - read twenty books of at least five hundred pages in length, or something).

Shikamaru's musings were interrupted by the arrival of Lockhart, a most unwelcome addition.

"Well, what do we have here?" the man asked. Malfoy suddenly gained a very evil look.

"Why, Creevy was just about to take a picture of Potter, and Potter was going to sign it!" he said with faux innocence. No one except Professor Dunce believed it.

"Marvelous!" Lockhart exclaimed merrily. "Come on, young Creevy, you can get the both of us."

Malfoy snickered and held back a guffaw, while Crabbe and Goyle just chuckled stupidly. In another universe, the first year might have snatched up the opportunity, leaving Harry thoroughly embarrassed and Malfoy full of satisfaction. After having it pointed out to him that Harry didn't particularly enjoy being in the spotlight, Colin hesitated.

"Actually, sir," Colin said nervously. Lockhart's smile was a little frightening in it's brightness. "I was just asking Harry if he could pose while I practiced viewing people from different angles, I wasn't actually going to take any pictures. And the signed thing was a joke."

It was a good thing Lockhart was focusing so much on Colin. He didn't see Ron's mouth drop open, Malfoy's face twist in displeasure, Hermione smile in relief, and Shikamaru's smirk of triumph. If he had seen all these things, events might have gone differently. As it was, his smile flickered and then came back brighter than ever. Shikamaru absently wondered if that was the first time someone had refused to take a picture of him. Feh, the man needed to learn that the earth didn't revolve around him sometime.

"Ah! I see! Such dedication is admirable," the man said brightly. He then went on a tangent about one of his adventures that Shikamaru didn't bother listening to. Instead, he nodded once at Colin, who absolutely beamed in response. Even Harry was grinning, despite his close proximity to his blond professor. After a few more words, presumably of advice, Lockhart departed, leaving a fuming group of Slytherins and a happy group of Gryffindors.

As soon as Lockhart was out of sight, Malfoy rounded on Colin, who shrunk back in spite of his earlier courage. It seemed to have occurred to him that angering an older boy wasn't a good idea, no matter how big a prat. Good, at least he had some common sense.

"Just wait, half-blood scum," he spat. "I'll get you for that." Then, he turned around and stormed off. Crabbe and Goyle followed, shooting the first year threatening glances. At least, Shikamaru thought he was intimidated until, after Crabbe and Goyle had turned around, he leapt into the air in excitement of all things.

"That was brilliant!" he shouted. "Did you see Malfoy's face? A-and Professor Lockhart was totally fooled. Man, I thought he'd ask why I didn't choose someone else for the picture, but it was lucky he didn't."

"See, those types of deep-meaning questions would require actual brains, which Lockhart is in short supply of," Shikamaru said dryly. Ron laughed and Hermione huffed.

"No need to be rude," she sniffed. Harry raised an eyebrow at her.

"Is it rude if it's the truth?" he asked, trying to sound sincere. Since he was grinning, it didn't work. She just harrumphed and crossed her arms. "And Colin? Thanks."

Colin's face would split in two if he kept smiling like he did.

…

Lockhart's Defense class was not so worthy of celebration. It started out unsatisfactory enough, what with the questionnaire all based on Lockhart's likes and dislikes. Goodness, he was giving out so much material that could be used against him. Kakashi would be proud of the way Shikamaru came up with half a dozen ways to kill Lockhart without the use of his weapons or jutsu during that testing period.

He didn't even bother answering any of the questions. If the man would treat his own subject like a joke, than Shikamaru would treat his class the same way. He could learn his own Defense through the library. As Lockhart gathered the papers, Shikamaru made a mental note to ask Professor Snape some questions about Defense. The man was probably more suited to the position of teacher of DADA than Lockhart, even with his prickly personality.

Although, anything was better than Lockhart's perpetual cheerful roguishness. He was like Naruto in that he was cheerful twenty-four-seven, but unlike Naruto, he wasn't sincere about it and he was so much more irritating. Shikamaru should have predicted the Cornish Pixies breaking out of their cage. Just. No. He was done. He refused to the man's job for him.

"No," he said aloud as his friends tried to stuff the pixies in their cages. "No, I refuse. Stop, guys."

Hesitantly, they stopped as Shikamaru opened the classroom door and started batting the pixies out into the hallway with his hat. Be free, little pests. Maybe go torment that damn professor. "We're not doing his job for him. It's not our fault he's incompetent." A little more than, really.

"But- he'll see the," Neville said, worried.

"Good," Shikamaru said flatly. "Maybe that'll keep him from biting off more than he can chew."

"I don't think this is fair-" Hermione began, but Ron cut her off with a loud scoff. Beside her, Harry was holding back snickers as he watched the pixies start to follow their compatriots and swarm out the door. Hopefully, someone would recognize where they were from and tell McGonagall, who would in turn let Lockhart have it.

"I say let the bloke have it," Ron said frankly. "Those things aren't worth a good grade." Hermione swelled up in indignance. Shikamaru shook his head and picked up his books, ignoring Hermione as she did her best to defend their incredibly questionable professor.

He needed to speak to someone ASAP if he wanted to get anything useful out of this year's DADA. Maybe the Slytherins, or Snape. Anyone would be better than this joke.

…

Unsurprisingly, the four of them were called into Lockhart's office that afternoon. Neville was worried, but Shikamaru wasn't. The worst the Professor could do was give them detentions or take away points, and as infuriating as spending more time with the man would be, Shikamaru liked to think he could ignore annoyances pretty well. Lockhart, when they entered, looked faintly disheveled. Shikamaru carefully hid a satisfied grin.

"Ah, my four young rascals," Lockhart greeted them. "I must say, being told by Minerva that my pixies had somehow wound up in the corridors was not the end to the morning that I wanted."

Shikamaru bet it wasn't. He would have liked to be a fly on that wall.

"I'm so sorry, Professor!" Hermione burst out, switching between incensed and ashamed. Shikamaru decided to cut in before she got them into unnecessary trouble.

"We did try," he added with all of the sincerity that he could muster. Because, well, they had, for all of five minutes before he'd thrown the towel in. Hermione stuttered to a halt, shock clear on her face. He ignored that and continued, portraying an innocent child who knew that he had done wrong and was willing to accept any punishment coming his way. "But, Professor, if someone like you couldn't take care of them, we knew that we wouldn't have a chance! We didn't even notice they were out of the room until most of them were already out. They had gone out the window, sir, and a few of them must have opened the door."

Everyone was blatantly staring at him now. At least Lockhart wasn't paying attention to the others; they would have given it away instantly. Shikamaru pretended to shuffle his feet. "I understand if you're upset; I would be if my students hadn't finished a task that I assigned them. And we should have told you, but I didn't want the others to get in trouble. If you're going to punish someone, it should be me, Sir," he said, glancing at the ground. If he had to look at the man's astounded-turning-sympathetic face any longer, he probably would have started going too far. He was having too much fun with this. Maybe.

"Oh, well- yes, no I understand completely," Lockhart said after a pause. His voice was pitying and gentle, which was grating, but- "Of course I shouldn't have expected a group of second-years to handle such advanced creatures."

Shikamaru barely withheld a snort. Hermione had been well on her way to just freezing the damn things if he hadn't stepped in.

"No, indeed, young Mister Nara, the fault lies with me. There will be no punishment. I merely wanted to hear your side of the story," Lockhart mused. "In fact- twenty points to Gryffindor for displaying such dedication in the face of an impossible task!"

Shikamaru's head shot up. No way was the man this- no, actually. This just worked out way better than he'd expected. His surprise worked for him, though, for Lockhart smiled in a kindly manner. "Take heart! One day, I am sure you will be able to take on such difficult foes. I bid you a good afternoon, now, wouldn't want to take away from your study time. See you next class!"

Shikamaru somehow got out a mumbled thank you before herding his friends out the door. Fortunately, Ron and Harry, who both looked fit to bust a gut, waited until they were out of earshot before breaking into laughter.

"How did you do that?" Neville asked admiringly. "I thought we'd be given detention for sure."

"Just appealed to his ego," Shikamaru said. "He wouldn't believe children could lie to him, and we did technically try."

"I can't believe you got him to give us points!" Ron cackled. "Brilliant!"

"Brilliant?" Hermione asked shrilly. "Lying to a Professor is brilliant now, is it?"

Harry grinned at her. "It is if it's Lockhart. C'mon, Hermione; you know what he did to us was wrong."

"Well…" she subsided. "Yes, but…"

Shikamaru shook his head. "At least he probably won't try anything like that again, if only to keep McGonagall from lecturing him again." Some people. He yawned over the feeble arguments Hermione was making against Ron, Harry, and surprisingly Neville.

He could use a nap after that. Acting was difficult work; maybe he'd go out to the grounds. He might even see one of the escaped pixies.

Today was a good day.

…

Severus almost choked on his tea when he heard Lockhart extolling Nara's many virtues, the most primary of which seemed to be his ability to recognize when he was beaten. Minerva, halfway between amused and irritated, asked him to explain further. He obliged.

Severus didn't bother hiding his smirk as the tale of Nara's complete manipulation of the idiot near him came to light, and the fool didn't even realize. Minerva, it seemed, was also amused, but she was hiding it behind her own goblet of pumpkin juice.

"Simply marvelous, his loyalty to his friends!" Lockhart exclaimed. "Why, I simply had to give them points for their effort, Minerva!"

Minerva nodded, eyebrows raised in a way that Severus knew meant that she would be smiling over this later, in secret. He himself was impressed by the usage of the man's ego against him, though on anyone with even slightly more brains, the manipulation was quite clear. It appeared, though, that the boy hadn't thought intelligence was a threat and had used his own to get his friends out of an undoubtedly less noble situation.

"Well played, Mr. Nara," Severus muttered under his breath. Well played indeed.

(1): Short and sweet. Also, think of his recovery as his magic having reacted to his dream. Or think that his family somehow healed him across universes. Your choice.

(2): Just a thought of, did wizards completely miss both World Wars? And- no human could possibly react fast enough to dodge a bullet they didn't move before the trigger was pulled, let alone cast a spell, and some wizards probably wouldn't even think of guns being a threat. Besides, I'm pretty sure an elite soldier like a Navy SEAL or the SBS could take down an Auror no problem, especially if they knew what they were up against. Just food for thought.

Guest Reviews (Bottom to Top):

Guest: I am flattered that you think so, truly. I honestly didn't think it would be so well received. And no, kind person, you made my day. And here's another chapter, so...hope you didn't finish this one too quickly, though it's very short… Anyway, thanks so much for the review!

Cloud: Aside from the fact that I adore your name, hah, I'm embarrassed. I'm sorry about AO3, I have not' been giving my friend chapters to put on there. Whoops. Anyway, I think we answered your comment on there too. And if that update was a sign, than I'm sorry, because this thing is Late. I'm glad you enjoyed the summer, and yeah, it was supposed to, especially the last few sentences. Poor Shikamaru, he doesn't even know how troublesome this year will be. And, I think that letters are the wizarding version of cellphones, just slower. Like telegraphs, except...letters. Ah, I'm tired and not logical. Thanks for reviewing and reading!

Guest: Why thank you. I'm glad you liked it. Much appreciation and thanks for the review!

Who: First of all, interesting name, and second of all, yes! An update! And here's another! Ha, I'm so terrible to my readers… And sorry, but...no pairings with Shikamaru. I think it would make him feel like a pedophile to be with someone so young, and he still holds hope for reuniting with Temari and Shikadai. So, canon pairings! Luna marries someone nice - that unfortunately isn't Neville, because I shipped that until it sunk - and Shikamaru may or may not get home! Thanks for the input and opinion though!

TheIdioticMelody: Yeah, my profile...another thing I don't update enough. And I will never give up on this story! I was just momentarily discouraged. And thank you for saying that, it's one thing to come up with an original-ish plot, it's another to try and make it good. Thank you for your uplifting review!

A/N: Don't lie to your teachers, kids. But if you do, you'd best hope they match Lockhart in intelligence.

By the way, accepting requests for memories of Shikamaru's childhood, because I've about run out of ideas. So...anything you want to see - that's plausible, no young Shikamaru fighting off dragons or something - please inform me. Otherwise, the quality of those things are going to go down real fast.

Changes to 11:

Re-wrote the first half of the childhood scene. I just didn't like how expositional it felt, so. I hope it's now more story, I guess? - in line with that, I changed Shikamaru's age to early 30s when he was brought over. He had Shikadai pretty young - the epilogue is 15 years later, and Shikadai is looking at graduation pretty soon - I'm thinking Shikadai is about 14-15, so Shikamaru should be 34ish.

Small fixes and details. Nothing too big.

Changes to 12:

Minor details at first

Rewrote the pixie scene because I feel like Shikamaru wouldn't even bother. Obviously, the Severus PoV was an extra too, because Lockhart would be the kind of person to brag about how noble and brave his students were in the face of such danger.