The unnecessary, tragic flashback

The system opened a window in Frozen Milk's field of vision and Frozen Milk was sucked into it as he traced what has happened in the past:

It was on a lonely Christmas day. Christmas eve to be precise. Frozen Milk just like every other day without fail uploaded a new chapter and was bombarded by massive hate. He just shrugged it off and tried to entertain himself. However, today it just didn't feel right.

Frozen Milk shut down his computer and looked out of the window and sighed. It was snowing and it was already dark. The Christmas lights lit up the streets and the whole city. It was beautiful but Frozen Milk couldn't appreciate it.

He had no heart to adore beautiful and nice things. His small apartment that consisted of his bedroom and kitchen and bathroom was completely dark. And so he sat for a while in the darkness before he left his bedroom and stood in front of the door.

One hand on the doorknob, Frozen Milk contemplated if he should go out and get some fresh air. He felt suffocating in his place and he hasn't been out for a long while, so he needed some fresh air and exercise.

However, there was a nagging feeling that dragged his heart down and numbed his mind. Frozen Milk didn't know what it was. In fact, he knew but he didn't want to admit and brushed it aside.

It was loneliness.

Frozen Milk looked at his phone. No messages, no notifications, nothing.

Christmas Eve was a wonderful day, a happy day.

It was all that but Frozen Milk felt none of it. Frozen Milk was young man. He was 25. He made good money from writing his novels, in particular, his current novel 'Another one fell through' was going good. It had the right amount of hate yet all the readers kept coming back to read it.

He was happy. Frozen Milk was indeed a happy person. Who wouldn't be happy living like this?

Frozen Milk opened the door and stepped outside. His apartment was located in a high apartment complex and the metropolitan city he lived in was an all-time favourite capital sought by many visitors.

He took the lift and stepped onto the street. The fresh and cold air immediately hit his face and Frozen Milk's nose turned red. It was cold but it was relieving. The little snowflakes flew across the wind and settled on his head and face.

Then they melted into small water drops and mingled with the hot ones that dropped from his eyes. Frozen Milk instantly wiped them away.

He was a happy person. He lived a good life. There was nothing that would make him feel the other way.

The snow was too vicious, creating the illusion that a grown man like him longed for warmth and emotional support.

Frozen Milk walked down the street and to his surprise not many people wandered around at this time of the night. Usually, even if it was Christmas Eve and the time, there was always an abundance of people on the streets. Everywhere.

But tonight there wasn't and Frozen Milk was secretly glad this was the case. He didn't have to worry about onlookers.

Frozen Milk went to a nearby park and sat down. Alone in the dark night, he hummed to himself. He pulled out his phone and read the neverending flood of comments underneath his new chapter but couldn't get himself into mood again.

Instead, of feeling happy about it, it just made him more and more sad. Frozen Milk didn't enjoy to be hated. Frozen Milk didn't enjoy to have his works he poured effort and time into be trashed like this. Frozen Milk didn't enjoy torturing his readers. Frozen Milk didn't enjoy any of it.

However, it was a familiar feeling and only when those words, that hatred and that pain surrounded him, he felt at ease. He was used to it since a long time and then when he finally freed himself from it, he sought it again through other means, through his works.

It was a vicious cycle. He could get rid of it but then craved it because it was comfortable, because that was the only thing he knew.

Just like now, he freed himself but he still dialled the number with the name 'Mum' on it. And again like always when Frozen Milk sought something else to soothe himself, the vicious 'The subscriber is not available. Please try again at another time.'

Of course, Frozen Milk didn't expect anything else, what should he expect if the one on the other end didn't want to have anything to do with him? However, this was also something comforting and a ritual for him.

Frozen Milk put the phone down and stared in front of him. His fingers held his lips up yet Frozen Milk couldn't smile.

It was such a lonely day. On most days, he didn't mind and it wouldn't bother him but every time there was a festive day like this where everyone would spend it with their loved ones, Frozen Milk couldn't help but regress into a little child that wanted to be loved but wasn't.

Frozen Milk stood up and left the park.

He was clearer about it than anyone else. Frozen Milk wasn't happy. He wasn't. At this point, he was just an empty shell too afraid to die or give up on living.

There was all that was to it.

He couldn't bear this train of depressing thoughts and found a pub. He would drink everything away.

And so, Frozen Milk chugged one drink after another one and laid his head on the table. There were a few other people around him with their friends.

Friends. Did Frozen Milk sought those types of connection? No.

However, everyone did. It was another lie.

The table next to Frozen Milk was particularly loud and his headache pulsated but he was forced to listen to their conversation.

"My brother is so annoying, everytime he would just come to my place and-"

Brother... Frozen Milk sighed and headed out.

A warm feeling ran down his face and he collapsed next to a street lantern. He felt nauseous and he wanted to cry.

What about his brother? But of course, there was no one that cared about Frozen Milk. All they gave him was the cold shoulder or a vicious treatment.

After all, he had the audacity to exist.

Frozen Milk felt sick. He felt sleepy and just wanted to cuddle into his bed. But the alcohol brought forth emotions he never wanted to experience and so he sobbed at his desk and typed furiously into his computer.

Vil, his villain Vil, the poor character that was driven out by his father but still loved. Then wouldn't there be another character? A character that didn't receive their parents' love, care and protection? Their sibling's love and affection?

What about such a character? A character that was thrown out, its existence denied and because of the lack of basic human needs, it grew up to become a scum. A scum that fought for itself and later become the king and ruled over everyone. This character was handsome and despite its tragic childhood, it became a happy person.

This character had all of Frozen Milk's feelings, identity and dreams poured in and in the end, this character would blossom to have a life that was greater than any person's in life. This was the birth of the character 'Bro'.

The neglected prince that the king didn't want, the younger brother Vil looked down upon and-

Frozen Milk wrote chapter after chapter, then published it.

Excitingly he read it over and over again but the tears just wouldn't stop.

This was pathetic. He deleted those chapters and they were buried forever in the loss of memories Frozen Milk the next day experienced after he passed out and threw up on his bed.

None of the feelings he felt the prior day was present and Frozen Milk was once again the good, old scum author.