Chapter 25

"All right, that's one down," announced Maya, a little tone of relief slipping through her otherwise serious facade. "Unit-00's pilot is now in place. Flood the entry-plug with LCL."

As the LCL filled Unit-00's plug, its progress tracked by a colored graph on a computer monitor, Misato carefully scanned the control room around her. In front, near the thick armored windows overlooking the cages, Ritusko was looking out at the enormous metal and concrete cage that held the Evas. Haruna, Aoba and Hyouga sat on their respective consoles. Maya stood besides Misato, doing her best to appear calm and collected.

This was project after all, representing months of work and endless concern.

For safety reasons no one else was allowed in the room. Not that were that many people left who could perform high-level procedures like this one effectively. Even Misato was only there in the interest of the children.

"Flooding complete," Haruna called from her station. It would be the girl's second ever activation test—the first having taken places just minutes ago—so the excitement in her voice was acceptable.

"Begin Unit-00 activation sequence," Maya said. She turned to Misato. "Let's cross our fingers..."

"We should keep an eye on the loading interface for the A-10 connection," Ritsuko said, not taking her eyes from the thick armored window. Even to Misato, who had known her for a long time, she seemed very tense. "The new program hasn't been tested on a live subject."

"Live subject?" Misato frowned, the term causing her stomach to turn. She hated Ritsuko's detachment with a passion. It wouldn't kill her to actually refer to the children as people.

"Yes," Ritsuko replied without apparently noticing the major's distaste. "Our simulations, while rather comprehensive, are still based on a computer conscience. MAGI can account for certain shortcomings in the human mind but it can not adequately simulate them. Therefore, the results of those simulations still leave an unknown element as to what the result will be when synching Rei to the system."

Misato almost rolled her eyes. "Of all the things that can go wrong, you are worried about a computer program's results?"

"Unexpected problems often become the biggest problems, Major Katsuragi," Maya said, and Misato was taken aback by how that seemed exactly like something Ritsuko would say. "I suppose that is a law of experimentation. It's very similar to Murphy's. Doctor Akagi is just being thorough."

Ritsuko turned her head to give Maya an odd look of approval. Misato felt as though the cold doctor's demeanor had started to rub off on her warm-hearted protégé. Like some kind of disease that would eventually shut out all of the humanity that the young girl might still have left.

"Nothing is unexpected," Ritsuko replied somberly, returning her attention to the glass. "That's why I wanted to have Unit-01 out there at the same time. Just in case."

"You mean you want Shinji to clean up your mess in case you calculations are flat wrong," Misato said sharply. She was not much a cynic but Ritsuko always brought that out in her.

Ritsuko's reply was completely emotionless. "No, the maintenance crews will take of that. Shinji's there to make sure we are still around afterward."

...

Being inside the Eva was strange—different than before, than anything she thought she remembered. Rei Ayanami had never felt anything like it. It was like being isolated from the rest of the world. As the LCL flooded the entry-plug, she felt its warm grip through the thin material of her plug-suit. And as the liquid rose above her head and she took a breath, she realized it smelled like blood.

Rei leaned back on her seat, feeling the two control sticks she had on both sides. She had never been so alone in all her short life.

Alone ... always alone...

A thought came to mind. She had always felt awkward in this place, the girl that came before her. It wasn't fear or pain or anything as powerful as that, but more of a feeling, a faint sense, that she didn't belong. That there was already something else here. Someone. And she wanted her out.

"We are ready to start." Maya's voice broke through the silence. "Rei, can you hear me?"

"I am ready," said the blue-haired pilot.

"Good. We'll now begin power-up procedures and voltage check on all systems. Please stand by. This channel will remain open for you. Don't hesitate if any issues come up."

A light went through the entry-plug like a tidal wave, a rainbow that had somehow been twisted into a ring running the length of plug's cylinder. And suddenly Rei felt nausea. She immediately covered her mouth with both hands, out of reflex.

"Why ..." she asked, gagging, "does it feel this way?"

"I'm sorry," Maya replied. "It's your body's natural reaction to the Eva. Close your eyes and think of nothing. We'll do the rest."

Rei nodded and closed her eyes, as instructed, and leaving back tried to clear her mind. Soon the nausea faded. The entry-plug's walls turned into a swirling, patternless rainbow, every color changing and merging with the other. She had read why that happened—the phosphorescent diodes charging to different voltages randomly to reset them.

No, she hadn't read that. It hadn't been her. She was just remembering it, but the experience itself was not her own. Nothing was.

"Initiate the A-10 nerve connections."

A new scent came to her—something distinguishable even with the smell and taste of the LCL filling her senses. She knew this new scent. She hated it, and she didn't know why.

"Rei, are you worried?" Gendo Ikari had asked her after telling her that she would be activating Unit-00.

"No."

Then another voice echoed in the back of her mind. A shrill, high-pitched tone ringing with she had come to identify as bitterness. "I didn't realize you were so well trained!"

"Why does it feel this way?" she repeated.

"Rei, think of nothing," ordered Maya over the radio. She said something else, but her voice faded away to nothingness, like someone turning down the volume.

"How can I forget...why...why?"

The words didn't seem to come from her, emanating instead from somewhere in the dark. They felt distant, belonging not to her as she was now but to whomever she had been in the past.

"Your brain signal is spiking. Think of nothing. Relax," Maya said with increasing concern, but the words were lost on the pilot. Rei was no longer listening. She couldn't. Her head was beginning to hurt. "Rei, can you hear me?"

Rei closed her eyes. There was only darkness in her life now.

"Why...did you...have...to...do that to me? I tried to forget...really tried...to leave you behind...to move away...to die, but you wouldn't let me."

"Rei, you are not making any sense."

And then there was a flash of orange light. And she couldn't breath anymore. Her skin burned as if her plug-suit had suddenly been set on fire. Her head throbbed, painful blows of a hammer against her skull.

And she felt herself fall—her heart, her mind, her whole being just falling, further inside the Eva until she recognized nothing but deep sadness and despair, and a loneliness so thick it was what it must have felt like to die.

"Rei?"