Special Anniversary

AN: There are songs in this chapter, so please have a listen at them. Although one of them is in a different language, I hope the songs still go across. Enjoy!

Also, there are a lot of songs here so this chapter is quite lengthy. Still, I hope you'll like it. The songs aren't just here for display, they are here to help you understand the chapter better. So I REALLY do hope you'll have a listen to it.

__________

[If you're not the reason

Do I force my heart to stop hurting?

If it's not you then I'll stop forcing myself

To hope for the two of us]

The comments were popping up so fast at how the song sounded so good even though it was unfinished. It's 8AM right now, and I'm already almost done with doing my VLIVE. I was in my room and was just jamming with some of our fans when a Filipino fan asked me to write them a song in Tagalog. I didn't know any songs in Tagalog in this world, but I listened to some of them in the previous world. So I decided to sing a song called "Kung Hindi Ikaw" by December Avenue. The title of the song literally translates to "If It's Not You" in English.

The fans were practically excited and were throwing off heart eye emojis and heart emojis as soon as I sang the first part. I was very fluent in Filipino since my mom has Filipino blood. At this point, I'm not even surprised, even in the previous world, some famous singers had some Filipino blood in them. Plus, I also had to learn it since there were a lot of business deals done in the Philippine market.

Anyway, one of the fans asked me to write a song about being in the friendzone. I gladly did. And this was the song that came into mind. Thankfully, some of the fans who don't understand Tagalog also appreciated it. My VLIVE usually is composed of me speaking in different languages to the fans since I'm fluent in 10 languages. Today, I decided to "spontaneously write them songs" in their own language. I just happened to end it in Filipino.

[Cold and unable to move

My heart that insists it's you is struggling]

I paused because I chuckled a bit since I forgot the lyrics. I pretended as if I was still composing in my head but smiled at the comments which were full of laughter and hearts. But as soon as I sang the chorus, I immediately went back into character.

[If we're not together in the end

I'll restrain myself from falling in love again

If we're not together in the end

Do I force my heart to stop loving you?]

As soon as I finished the song, I smiled at the camera. "So how was it? It's still pretty much a rough draft, but I hope you guys liked it."

: Waaah! It's really beautiful!

: OMG! I need to learn Filipino ASAP!

: Can you translate it to us PLEASE?!

: PROUD FILIPINO HERE!

: FILIPINO HERE! THE LYRICS IS REALLY GOOD!

: You aren't even Filipino but you sounded just like one a few seconds ago!

I chuckled at the comments that were flooding. I read the comment about translating the lyrics to English, and so I did. Some of the other fans were also demanding it to be translated in another language. In the end, I ended up translating it to several other languages.

"Well that was definitely NOT exhausting and brain draining to do." I sarcastically said as I chuckled which made the fans react with laughter.

"So I'm about to end the LIVE since we have to go to our schedule now. Any last song requests? Hmm? I'll sing in English this time. But… you choose the topic." I told them.

: Oppa! Don't go!

: Oppa! Something about moving on!

: Aren't you getting married soon? Write a song about a goodbye to your "mystery girl" kekekeke!

: Oppa I don't want you to get married!

: I agree! Song about moving on!

"Oooh… I like that theme. Moving on? Alright. Let's do that then. So once again, thanks for joining me in my VLIVE. This will be the last song for everyone. I love each and every one of you. Enjoy!" I said as smiled at them.

I started playing a familiar tune. It was a beautiful song that I came across in the previous world. It was written by a famous indie band from the Philippines. This song was the perfect song about moving on. Calm, relaxed and its gentle way of addressing the theme. It fits perfectly. As I finished playing the intro, I sang Ben and Ben's song called "Leaves".

[I can think of all the times

You told me not to touch the light

I never thought that you would be the one]

The emotions were surging before I knew it, and my face which was pretending to be sad a while ago, became touched by the song's lyrics and melody that I didn't realize that my eyes were becoming moist.

[I couldn't really justify

How you even thought you could be right

Cause everything we cherished is gone]

I took a quick pause as I tried to compose myself. After doing so, I continued singing.

[And in the end can you tell me if

It was worth the try, so I can decide]

The pain and sadness came rushing in again, but it was a good kind of feeling. It was as if this was literally the last time I was going to feel this way. Then I smiled as I sang the chorus to the song.

[Leaves will soon grow from the bareness of trees

And all will be alright in time

From waves overgrown come the calmest of seas

And all will be alright in time

Oh you never really love someone until

You learn to forgive]

After which I ended continuing the song as I was already too absorbed with the emotions.

[Try as hard as I might

To flee the shadows of the night

It haunts me and it makes me feel blue

But how can I try to hide

When every breath and every hour

I still end up thinking of you]

I then went for the build-up as I strummed my guitar. I even noticed that the fans were liking the song as they gave crying emojis and sad emojis in the comment section. This only made me go at it even harder.

[And in the end everything we have makes it worth the fight

So I will hold on for as long...]

I smiled as I felt every emotion of the song and tried to pass it to the fans.

[Leaves will soon grow from the bareness of trees

And all will be alright in time

From waves overgrown come the calmest of seas

And all will be alright in time

Oh you never really love someone until

You learn to forgive]

I jumped to the bridge which surprised some of the fans since the spontaneous song was almost finished. But I didn't mind as I pushed through with it.

[I never thought that I would see the day

That I'd decide if I should leave or stay

But in the end what makes it worth the fight's

That no matter what happens we try to make it right]

I slowly went into a pause as I gave a sad smile to my audience who were bursting in tears in the comment section.

[Leaves will soon grow from the bareness of trees

And all will be alright in time

From waves overgrown come the calmest of seas

And all will be alright in time

Wounds of the past will eventually heal

And all will be alright in time

Cause all of this comes with a love that I real

I said all will be alright in time

I said all will be alright in time

I said all will be alright in time

All will be alright in time

Oh you never really love someone until

You learn to forgive

You learn to forgive

Learn to forgive]

I ended the song there as I watched the comments section flood with a bunch of different emojis. My heart was still pretty much absorbed with the song. I tried my best to compose myself and I manage to do so quickly.

After a few good seconds, I smiled towards the camera. "So that's it for today. Thanks again guys! Don't forget to celebrate our Anniversary on VLIVE this afternoon. I really hope that you guys could make it! 'Til then, bye!"

As soon as the call ended, my phone started ringing. I tapped it which made PD-nim pop-up through a hologram. He was smiling at me. "I know I should be used to it by now, but you always, ALWAYS seem to continuously surprise me. Well done."

"You watched my VLIVE earlier?" I chuckled as I slowly prepared my stuff for today's schedule.

He laughed at me. "Why do you sound so surprised? Of course I watch ALL my artists' LIVEs!"

"But SF9 and AOA are having their VLIVE the same time as I did. Did you watch theirs too?" I raised a brow at him.

He smiled wryly at me. "That's…"

"I thought so. You stopped watching as soon as I started singing, didn't you?" PD-nim was starting to get cornered as I asked him some questions.

He cleared his throat. "Anyway, you should start preparing for your schedule."

"Don't worry, I'm done. I'll go now. Don't worry, I've already made a demo for your next song. I'll send it to you after our filming in 'Weekly Idol' today." I smiled at him as I slung my backpack over my shoulder and ended the call.

"What a great timing… Alpha celebrates its anniversary at the same time as 'Weekly Idol' films their anniversary special." I smiled as I excitedly walked out of my room to join my members in the dining area to wait for our managers.

__________

"Welcome once again SEVENTEEN, GFRIEND, Lovelyz and Alpha!" The two hosts yelled at the same time after we gave our brief introduction and short answers to their interview questions.

We were now filming 'Weekly Idol's' anniversary special. Together with us were the four groups that were mentioned. They purposely got groups who debuted at the same year to come today since our batch's popularity was on the rise. They wanted to ride on the momentum for their viewer rating which we didn't mind.

Now, we were here and were ready to take on some challenges for our group's popularity to increase as well as to promote some of the things that we'll be doing this year. This was the best place to do it especially since it'll be aired 2 weeks later.

"Now that we've finished introducing our guests for today. Why don't we see what our groups perform dance challenges?" Changhee-hyung said as he led his co-host towards the center.

Saeho-hyung then smiled as he gladly followed along. "That's right. So now we're going to have them do the 2x speed challenge!"

All of the groups present started groaning as soon as they heard that. The two hosts laughed at our soon to be demise. Saeho-hyung then started talking to SEVENTEEN. "So, if you were going to choose a song, what would it be?"

S.Coups then took the liberty to speak for the group as the leader. "So today is really special. Not just for this show, but for our friend as well. Today is actually Alpha's anniversary."

"Really?" Saeho-hyung snapped his head towards us as the rest of the people turned to us as well. They all started singing the congratulations and the happy birthday song in Korean which is still pretty much congratulations if translated.

"So as I was saying since it's their anniversary today, we wanted to do 'Oh My' which JayB-ya composed for us last year." As soon as S.Coups finished explaining his part, the rest of the members went to the front and prepared for their performance.

The group then performed their 2016 hit 'Oh My' which was actually performed on 2018 in the previous world. I decided that I should up their game so before I left for my hiatus, I gave them a copy of a song that they could work on. But it turned out better than expected since they've been topping the charts for 2 months since that song got released during my hiatus. I only found out about it during our welcome back party last year.

After they finished we greeted them back with a round of applause as they head back to their seats exhausted and all. Although 'Oh My' isn't that fast compared to their other songs, the choreography will kill you once the speed is doubled. The next people that the hosts asked to perform were Lovelyz.

"Soojung-ie… I heard that JayB-ya made a song for your comeback last January. Are you going to perform that as well?" Changhee-hyung asked.

Soojung-noona then turned to Kei who was smiling cutely at her. "So we're all pretty close with JayB-ya since we trained together before under SM Entertainment."

"Really? You did? I didn't know that JayB-ya was a previous trainee under SM." Saeho-hyung was very surprised with the sudden news.

Changhee chuckled at his partner's bewilderment. "Really? It's been all over the news. Many news outlets even reported that one and wrote so many articles about it."

"That's right." I nodded in agreement. I actually read ALL those articles. Some were just exaggerating things though.

"Oh? I didn't even know that. I guess I was really in for a surprise today." Saeho-hyung said which made us laugh.

But Soojung-noona didn't stop there. "Actually, that's not all the news that we have for you today."

"What do you mean? There's more?" Changhee-hyung asked.

Soojung-noona nodded and smiled at me which made my eyes grow wide. I knew what she was going for. Well, the world's going to find out sooner or later anyway. No problem on my part. He then turned to Kei. "Our Kei-ya is actually JayB-ya's adopted sister together with Kibum-sunbaenim from Shinee, and Yoohyeon-ie from Dreamcatcher."

Both the hosts and the other people in the room became so surprised as they yelled out different reactions and responses. It was really funny to watch them react that way. It was like a bunch of animals were making weird noises.

"How is that even possible?!" Saeho-hyung asked in an exaggerated manner which made us laugh.

To check it out, they soon asked us to sit beside each other and interact. Kei is really famous for her ability to do aegyo. It was one of her charms. So she tried it out on me. "Oppa… Can you buy me something good to eat today? I feel really sad.~"

Of course, I'm already immune to it, but I decided to play along with it so she wouldn't be disappointed. "Ah. Okay then. Where do you want to eat?"

She then pouted her lips as she placed her index finger on it as if she was pondering on something. "Hmm?~ I want to eat ice cream.~ Will you buy it for me?~"

"Alright. Let's have some ice cream after the show. Oppa will treat you." I replied plainly.

Changhee-hyung wasn't too happy about it. "Eyy… are you immune to her cuteness or something?"

"I am, actually. We've been together for a very long time that I'm just aegyo-proof." I shrugged off.

Saeho-hyung sighed. "Don't you find your sister cute or something?"

Kei was feeling uncomfortable with the question, and I was afraid that she might be disappointed about our role play earlier, so I decided to give something for the fans as I stood behind her and gave her a hug. "Eyy… My sister is cute and pretty."

The people in the room got too excited as some of them fell on the floor while curling their fingers. Some of them were having goosebumps and were turning red from the excitement. For them, we didn't really look like siblings but were a couple.

Their teasing soon stopped as Lovelyz performed 'That Day' which was a hit in the previous world. Of course after performing they all fell down on the floor in exhaustion. GFRIEND then had a go with their song from this world. Now that I think about it, I haven't really written any song for them yet. It was still pretty much a fun song to watch and listen to though. These girls are really talented. Soon, it was Alpha's turn to have a go. And oh boy, this show made us do the craziest things. Dancing to "Clap" in twice its speed is like being chased by a speeding bullet train. It was almost impossible. But then again, doing the impossible is what Alpha is good at.

Jeonghan shook his head as he commented about it. "I still don't know how you guys managed to be THAT synchronized with THAT difficult choreography at THAT speed."

Kei then scoffed. "They're monsters. That's why."

"Are you really his sister?" Saeho-hyung joked which everyone laugh again.

We soon finished showing them that side of us and we transitioned to the next part of the show which was the question and answer part of the show. Since we're done showing the viewers how skilled we are as a group, we were now going to show them something more personal about the group. It would get a little personal since fans will be asking the questions as the show runners randomly picked it out.

"Alright! Let's start with Alpha!" Changhee-hyung excitedly said.

A fan's letter was then displayed on the screen together with his question. "I really love Alpha! From the day I saw them train years ago, even up to now! I will always support them. By the way, since you guys are really synchronized in dancing, do you always agree on everything?"

We all gave Seiji-hyung a chance to answer this one since we already talked about not letting me be the only speaker for today especially since it was our anniversary. "To make the answer short… I don't think we agree on everything."

Dominic then interjected. "We even fight a lot in the dorm because of Seiji-hyung."

His comment made everybody in the room laugh. He really is the mood-maker of the group. Saeho-hyung then turned to Dominic and asked. "Why do you say that?"

Dominic then stood up from his seat as he explained things with actions as well. "You see. We all do our laundry on separate days since we always get our clothes mixed up. We had that agreement. Seiji-hyung doesn't follow that rule. So there would be times where I go 'Oh? Where's my sweater?'"

He then went for the build-up as he acted like he was going around the dorm. "I would go around the dorm asking each member. Then Seiji-hyung pops up out of nowhere and says. 'I haven't seen it.' But guess what? He's actually wearing it at that moment!"

He said in such an angry tone that the people in the room cracked up. Even the filming crew were laughing their hearts out. Saeho-hyung then paused and turned to Seiji-hyung. "Did you really not know it was his sweater?"

"No, of course not!" Seiji-hyung answered which made everyone laugh some more.

Changhee-hyung then tried to ask in between his laughs. "How could you not know it's not yours? It's practically obvious since you didn't buy it."

Seiji-hyung threw his hands in the air. "How can I? Domi-ya's clothes at home are just sweaters and t-shirts in three different plain colors. Black, White, Gray! So how can I know if it is mine or isn't?!"

This argument became so hilarious that even the members of the other groups were joining in on the conversation and told them that they too have similar problems with their members. It was great to watch us agree on something like this being common among us idol groups. It made us look more normal. Soon, Alpha, SEVENTEEN and Lovelyz finished their round of questions it was now GFRIEND's turn.

Like the rest, the letter was displayed on the screen and the question was placed at the last part. "GFRIEND will always be my bias group! I love you! So… two members of the group are now done with their coming of age, and the rest are about to get there, so I guess it's safe to say that you are now in the age where dating is allowed. Would you mind telling us who you like? I love you guys!"

As soon as the hosts finished reading it, the members have already turned red from being embarrassed. Changhee-hyung then tried to save them. "Wow! That's really a personal question. How about this? Let's not say 'like'. Let's use the term admire then."

The girls were still pretty much shy about it, but they were feeling more comfortable about the situation now. Saeho-hyung then tried to tease them. "Why are you so embarrassed about it? It's not like you're in the same room as the one you like."

The girls went to squeal loudly and the hosts begun to suspect that something was really fishy about it. Changhee-hyung then went to pry it open. "So there IS someone… can you tell us about it?"

Sowon then turned to SinB and smirked at her. "Actually… our SinB-"

"Unnie!" SinB stood up from her seat and ran towards Sowon as she covered her mouth to prevent her from speaking which made the rest of us laugh.

"Don't worry about it! We won't air it! It's just going to be between us here." Saeho-hyung assured SinB.

The innocent Umji then spoke while she smirked. "But how can she be okay with that when that person is here?"

SinB was already too late as she tried to cover her mouth too. So she smirked and revealed a major secret of the group. "Ya! You guys say it like I'm the only one who likes him. You like him too!"

The rest of the members were trying to retaliate and it became really chaotic. The rest of us laughed along as they tried to reveal more secrets. Then Yuju mentioned something which made everyone stop their quarreling. "Fine! We all like the same guy. But SinB-ya is more head over heels over him more than we are."

SinB's jaw dropped as he suddenly hid behind her members. It was really cute. Her laugh is even contagious as the rest of us laughed as well. Changhee-hyung decided to end the bickering. "Alright! Alright! Stop it already. We are all professionals here. Nothing is going to change after you reveal it. We're humans so it's normal for us to feel that way. Why don't you tell them who it is? We already know it's me anyway."

His joke made everyone crack up in laughter once again. Seriously, I've been laughing so much for two days now. From yesterday's 'Knowing Brothers' and now in this show, we're laughing even more. I've never laughed so much in my life.

Saeho-hyung then stopped the chaotic situation as he seriously asked them again. "So who is it SinB-ya?"

He sighed deeply as she gestured her hands towards the person. "JayB-ssi…"

The girls from two different girl groups begin squealing as they tried to run around and hide from embarrassment. The rest of us people were laughing while I was smiling wryly at them. Saeho-hyung then asked me how I felt about it.

I stood up and bowed slightly at them. "Thank you so much."

"That's it?" Changhee-hyung asked which made everyone laugh again.

Saeho-hyung then turned to GFRIEND. "So what do you like about JayB-ya? How about you Yerin-ah?"

Yerin's eyes widened but she quickly recovered. "Why don't we let SinB-ya answer it?"

It was a good way to dodge the question which made everyone snicker. SinB wasn't that embarrassed anymore as she shyly nodded and decided to answer. "Aside from the obvious charms like him being really handsome and cute… He really is a gentleman. Even to the people he doesn't know personally. He's really friendly too, and he really takes good care of his friends. Plus, he is an amazing songwriter and choreographer. He's really talented overall."

Saeho-hyung picked up a few things from SinB's answer as he started asking questions. "So Sowon-ie, Jeonghan-ie, Kei-ya, Shua-ya, Coups-ah… You guys are part of the 95 line with JayB-ya. What can you say about him?"

Jeonghan raised his hand first. "It's true that he really takes VERY good care of his friends."

Sowon then added more. "There was a time where we had a gathering with the 95 line, and Eunbi who is a member of IZ*ONE told us a story about how Alpha saved her back from being harassed and abused back then. She was really surprised at how JayB-ya handled the situation as the leader. It was even before they debuted."

I ended up telling them what happened years ago during our pre-debut days. They were all listening intently as I narrated the story. Changhee-hyung then turned to Kei as soon as I finished speaking. "Kei-ssi, what can you say about your brother? Is he really a gentleman? Does he really take good care of people?"

"Oh yeah. He's REALLY a gentlemen. Sometimes it's too much that some girls often times ask me if my brother is hitting on them." She said in a nonchalant way which made everyone crack up. I, on the other hand, lowered my head in embarassent.

Saeho-hyung then turned to Kei. "Again, are you really his sister?"

This question made the people laugh even more which was already making it hard to breathe. Some members of SEVENTEEN were already on the floor and were now dying of laughter.

Changhee-hyung then decided to change the mood. "So, I heard that JayB-ya is already going to get married soon."

I nodded and agreed excitedly. "That's right."

"So how do you feel about it? I was also part of the show not too long ago. That's why I became fit." Saeho-hyung asked.

My eyes widened in surprise. "Ah really? How was it for you? I'm actually really nervous about it."

Changhee-hyung then interjected. "Why don't you give him some tips?"

Saeho-hyung then turned to me once again. "Alright. It's really okay to be nervous. There wasn't a time where we shot an episode that I wasn't nervous at all. I was nervous about a lot of things like how her fans would react, how I should act around her, what we should do next, and many more. But one thing I am sure of is this, if you really care about your virtual wife, then you would always treat each episode as if it is your last. Because you won't know if there will still be a next time."

I'm actually learning a lot from Saeho-hyung. But I was curious about something. "Are you guys still together now?"

He nodded. "Well of course! I asked her out as soon as the show ended. But my only regret is not doing more while we were on the show."

"Why is that?" I asked.

He smiled sadly. "Because during the show, we were protected so we could go around while dating without any problems with fans mobbing us. We always had to meet on a regular basis because of the filming so schedules couldn't keep us apart. But nowadays, it's difficult because of the busyness of the schedule. That's why I told you that you have to treat it as if it's your last."

I gave him a nod. The show then became serious for a few good minutes before Changhee-hyung decided to change the topic subtly. "So Kei-ssi? Do you approve of your brother getting married?"

She slowly tilted her head towards me with a serious expression. "No, she has to go through me first."

"Same here." SinB said in a flat tone which made everyone laugh. Of course, they were just joking about it. They actually wished me well after that segment was over and we transitioned to the last part of the show.

It was now time for the variety part of the show. We did some games and did some crazy challenges as well. It was really tiring but we were all having the time of our lives. It was really rare for us idols to play games like this and be more like a little kid again. It was definitely memorable seeing how each group was pretty much competitive at each game. Soon, it ended as we moved on to the last part of the show which was the skill-representative part.

Basically, each group will select a member which they think can offer the best "unique" skills that the other groups can't compete with. GFRIEND chose Yuju as she showed her flexibility side. Lovelyz admitted that they weren't as flexible as Yuju so they couldn't really compete about it. But the best surprise that they got was Matt-hyung being almost as flexible as Yuju. Most of the people couldn't believe it even when they saw it.

Lovelyz and SEVENTEEN also showed their weird but innovative skills. It was really fun to watch and compete with them at the same time. Soon, it was finally our turn and to no surprise, my members all picked me. They chose my spontaneous songwriting skills.

Saeho-hyung shook his head as my members told them about my skill. "I've only heard rumors about it. But are we actually going to see it in person now?"

"I'm having goosebumps right now." Dino said.

"Me too." Changhee-hyung said.

I chuckled. "It's not that special."

"Eyy! There you go calling it like that." Woozi said which made everyone laugh.

Woozi was really triggered since he was also a producer himself. Despite not writing his songs from the previous world, he actually wrote very powerful lyrics and songs in this world too. If Alpha wasn't around, I believe that SVT would really take one of the top places of this industry.

Changhee-hyung then asked. "How are we going to go about this? Do you just start or something?"

"Normally, someone would give me a random topic so it would prove that it's not premade but was done on the spot." I answered them.

Saeho-hyung had an idea. "How about this? Lovelyz will select the type of genre, GFRIEND will give the subject that the song will talk about, and then SEVENTEEN will give us an adjective as to how the song should describe the subject."

"How about us?" Zee asked.

"Ah? You guys? You probably see this a lot so you might be accomplices to JayB-ya. So you just need to sit back." Saeho-hyung answered back which made the people laugh.

Changhee-hyung then excitedly asked Lovelyz about the genre which Yein happily answered for the group. They chose a slow type indie song. It was somehow difficult to write songs in Korean when it's slow because of the phrasing, so this was a good choice. They just didn't know that I had an entire library of songs from the previous world inside my brain.

It was now GFRIEND's turn to pick a subject. As their leader, Sowon told us what their group agreed on. Since it was an anniversary special and the highlight was about us idols, they wanted us to talk about idols. It was getting more difficult. A slow song that's about idols. Should I try a ballad then?

Finally, SEVENTEEN gave their theme that would relate to the subject. They were even surprised that GFRIEND would actually choose a subject that would complement their answer. As a group they yelled the topic at the same time, and is the word 'Comfort'.

Woozi then explained why they chose that. "When Lovelyz and GFRIEND gave their answer first, we were surprised at how close our topic was with theirs. We chose this one because people don't seem to know how hard idols work. If it weren't for the fans then we would long have disbanded."

The rest of the groups agreed which made the atmosphere turn a little bit gloomy. So Sohae-hyung tried to brighten it up again. "That's actually a good way to end this show, don't you think?"

One of the showrunners then approached me and handed me an acoustic guitar. Changhee-hyung then smiled at me. "So JayB-ya will write a song on the spot and sing it to us with a comforting song for idols as its theme. Music, start!"

I breathed in deeply and released it. I gave the cameras a gentle smile as I started plucking the strings with the first song that came into mind. It was one of the songs that helped me pull through in the previous world. Again, SEVENTEEN's vocal unit did an excellent job in giving their all for this song. Now, I'm about to do the same as I started singing 'Hug'.

[Secretly laughing, secretly crying

While hiding my state of mind

The day that seems too much for me passes by]

There were a lot of times where we tried to connect our feelings to the people yet, with every song uttered it feels like we needed to do more. So our only comfort was to lean on our friends in the same industry even if we can't really describe how we truly feel. Is this the reason why people still end up disappointed despite giving it their all?

[Today too, the words can't be said

And can only be reflected in one's heart

It's hard

It's hard

It's hard]

But I know that even more than the fans, we got each other's backs. Yes, it IS a competition, but not having this competition would make this industry become lonelier. Our competition strengthens us as we try to grow more in the talents that we honed. But other people won't see that. Only WE can see that. Only fellow idols and artists will understand that. That's why we're the only ones who can lean on each other.

[Whenever it's hard for you

You can get a hug from me

I am the same

You know you can't hide it forever

So we can smile together]

I slowly turned my chair to my fellow idols in the room who were slowly tearing up as they listened to the song that I was playing. My eyes went over to SEVENTEEN and gave them a smile. I hope that I'm making them proud with the song that they created perfectly. All of us groups become more restless, guilty, ashamed, and more apologetic every time we feel like we couldn't give our all on stage. But I wanted to tell them right now through this song, that it's okay to make mistakes.

[Don't be sorry

Don't worry

Don't be scared

Now don't cry]

I may not know all of you personally, but one thing I know, is that we share the same struggle and pains. And I wanted them to know that I have your back. We all have each other's backs. It is a competition, but is also where our friendships are developed. That's why…

[To me

You are very precious

You can tell me

Today was tough

I am here

You did a good job

I love you

I will hug you]

I then repeated the entire song to emphasize that I really meant what I said. With every being that I am. I long to protect each and every one of these people. Because only us idols will ever truly understand what goes on behind the cameras once it's all turned off.

[Whenever it's hard for you

You can get a hug from me

I am the same

You know you can't hide it forever

So we can smile together]

They all started singing along to the second line. The song is pretty catchy itself. SEVENTEEN made sure of that.

[Don't be sorry

Don't worry

Don't be scared

Now don't cry]

Each person from every group were already hugging someone from their group and were either tearing up or straight up sobbing. But I didn't mind it. It would be great if they get to release it here. The last few lines became more meaningful because we sang it all together genuinely.

[To me

You are very precious

You can tell me

Today was tough

I am here

You did a good job

I love you

I will hug you]

The song then ended as the room was filled with tears. I smiled at each and everyone of them. "My members and I already had the best opportunity to tell each other how we feel when we filmed it in another show. I'm giving you a chance to do so right now. Why don't you approach one of your members and tell them what you're sorry or grateful for."

The director was touched so he gave us the opportunity to do so and promise to edit out most of the content after this one so we would have some privacy. Soon, the room was filled with more crying and laughter by different groups of people. They also thanked me for this opportunity to do so. I get them. It's because we spend so much time together that we became overfamiliar with each other that we sometimes take each other for granted. This was the reason why I took the opportunity to do this after singing that song. Where else would we get another opportunity like this?

After that, we finally settled down and ended the show properly. Since most of us were free afterwards, and the filming for my was still tomorrow, we decided to go out for some good food courtesy of Yo Chul-hyung. It was our way to celebrate our anniversary as well. The other groups were excited about it too.

We started making our way to the parking lot when I noticed that there were a bunch of cameras following us around. There were quite a few of them but very noticeable. Matt-hyung was getting worried so he whispered to me. "Is this part of the VLIVE?"

"I don't know. Didn't hear anything from PD-nim about this." I replied.

Jeong Do then leaned closer to us. "Maybe it's a surprise for our anniversary?"

Zhang shook his head. "I don't think so. Otherwise, they wouldn't look like stalkers by now."

Jiwoo decided to confront them. "Excuse me, do you need anything?"

One of the women who was with the cameramen handed me a red mailbox. I snapped my head towards them. "Is this for me?"

The woman nodded as I slowly opened the mailbox. "Just me? Not Alpha?"

She nodded again to confirm it. There was a red envelope inside. My members were becoming more curious as they huddled tighter as I opened the envelope. The other groups also went over to see what the commotion was all about.

As soon as I saw the contents of the letter, my heart started racing and my eyes widened it surprise.

_________