So This...

Chapter 14. So this...

LEXIN called his name after a long peaceful silence between them. "Kieffer..."

He let out a satisfying groan. Na parang kontento itong marinig na tawagin niya ito sa pangalan. "Hmm?"

"Alam mo ba'ng mas matanda ako sa iyo?"

Hindi ito kumibo. Mukhang hindi naman nito alam, kaya nagpatuloy siya. At itutuloy na rin niya ang mga nais sabihin kanina ng magandang bagay na nangyari sa kanilang dalawa.

"I'm already thirty-five. And you just turned thirty-four, right?"

"Hmm." Patuloy naman ito sa paghaplos ng kaniyang buhok.

She started circling her forefinger on his a bit hairy chest. "Wala lang sa iyo 'yon? Don't you want younger women?"

"Don't you know the saying about 'age doesn't matter', Miss Sensual?"

Napakurap-kurap siya at tumuwid ng upo. "W-what did you just say?" she asked.

Natigilan ito, malalim na nag-isip. "Age doesn't matter." Sumeryoso ang mukha nito.

"Ah, iyon lang ba?"

Tumango ito. Mukhang nabingi nga lang yata siya. She seriously thought he sounded like that hot delivery guy before. Shit! She should not be thinking of any other guys or men. Kay Kieffer lang dapat lalo pa't dito niya inalay ng buung-buo ang kaniyang katawan.

She suddenly felt guilty.

"Pantay naman tayo sa kama—"

"Ano'ng klaseng banat ba iyan!" kunwaring sikmat niya. Mabuti na lamang at nabaling na rito ang atensyon niya. She didn't want to think of that delivery guy anymore. Though sometimes she couldn't help but think of him especially she was doubting that he may be the one who really sent out that parcel to her. At sinadya nitong ipakita na nagulat din ito para hindi niya pagdudahan.

Siguro ay pagtatanung-tanong na lang niya ang taong iyon sa FastEx sa mga susunod na araw. Nasisiguro niyang empleyado ito roon. She would just make some excuse that he forgot something on her pad or maybe, she'd say he got her pregnant and left her or what. Para lamang lumitaw ulit ang delivery guy na iyon.

Hindi siya mapakali lalo pa't nalaman niyang hindi naman tinupad nina Mikael ang usapan nilang hindi na gagalawin ng bahay-ampunan. Baka mamaya ay gawing pain ang mga magulang niya para mahawak siya sa leeg o mapasunod ulit na parang string puppet ng mga ito.

"Lexin?"

Nagbalik siya sa huwisyo at pinilit na magbiro sa huli. "Kahit dito nga lang sa bangko, pantay tayo."

He chuckled lightly. Ginagap nito ang kamay niya at hinalikan ang likod ng kaniyang palad.

She then stared at him and noticed how sincere he was in making her feel lighter. Like some strange feeling was growing inside her.

So this is love... Isn't it? She wasn't certain about that thing but that's the only explanation she could give with the swirling emotions that she had been feeling eversince she met him.

Maybe, at first, she was only lusting over him. But now, she knew that a bigger part of her had completely caught by his flames. And she never felt so alive before.

"Thank you," usal niya.

Hinuli nito ang mga tingin niya. Tumayo naman siya at humawak sa barandilya habang nakatitig sa siyudad.

"Thank you for letting me feel this way. Alam mo ba'ng pinangako ko noon na mamamatay akong virgin?" Dinaan niya sa tawa ang bigat na nadama. Sa tuwing naaalala niya ang dahilan kung bakit napagdesisyunan niya bagay na iyon dati ay parang minamaso ang dibdib niya.

"Let's eat first."

Umiling siya. She had a hint that he's avoiding the conversation because he noticed she suddenly became weary and uneasy.

"Lex..."

"I suffered from PTSD for long. My traumas gave me a hard time when I was a teen, until early twenties. Well, I had some friends in high school but then, I transferred in Davao, and I had to familiarize myself with the people and surroundings again. Then... abroad..."

"Baby, it's alright of you aren't ready to open up yet. We'll take things slow." Napakalumanay ng pagkakasabi nito, tila ingat na ingat dahil baka may masabing hindi niya nais marinig.

Umiling siya at humarap dito.

She was pertaining to Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder—it's a psychiatric disorder that can occur in people who have experienced or witnessed a traumatic event such as a natural disaster, a serious accident, a terrorist act, war/combat, rape or other violent personal assault.

"This was the reason why I wanted to talk to you a while ago. Kaso, sa kama naman tayo nagkwentuhan." Idinaan niya muli sa biro at nakakailang na pagtawa ang sinabi.

Kieffer, on the other hand, kept still and was critically staring at her. He was showing attentiveness to whatever she was about to say. Tumalikod siya at humarap ulit sa siyudad.

"I've got a really, really ugly past. Hanggang ngayon..."

Natigilan siya nang maramdaman niyang yumapos ito mula sa kaniyang likuran.

"I'm really glad and thankful that the Osmeñas adopted me. I've got my family, I've got the chance to get treated because my parents seeked medical help. Throughout my therapy, I slowly welcomed life. Pero panandalian lamang ang lahat dahil naramdaman ko na naman ulit ang mga bagay na akala ko'y nawala na sa buhay k—"

Tumunog ang intercom kaya naputol ang pagsasalita niya. Hindi naman natinag si Kieffer dahil nakayakap pa rin sa kaniya. Bahagya pa itong yumuko at ipinatong ang baba sa kaniyang kanang balikat.

"Go on," anas nito.

Umiling siya dahil nag-ring nnmn ang intercom. "Kanina pa nag-iingay iyon. Baka room service na."

"Mamaya na, mas importante ito."

Eksaheradang lumabi siya. "Pero nagugutom na ako."

"You are?" gulat pa ito. Pagkuwa'y bahagyang tumawa. "Of course you're hungry. Pinagod kita nang husto kanina."

Ginagap nito ang kaliwang palad niya at iginiya na siyang pumasok sa loob.

"Don't peek. You aren't wearing anything underneath," anas pa nito nang igiya siya sa loob ng banyo.

Nakakaloka! Para namang masisilipan siya, eh nakatakip ng roba ang kahubdan niya.

Nang matapos ay kumatok ito at lumabas na siya ng banyo. Didiretso sana siya sa kama at bahagyang napasinghap nang makita kung paanong napakagulo niyon. Natanggal na ang bedsheets at nandoon din ang bakas ng pagkawala ng kaniyang pagkababae. At ang natuyong bakas ng pawis at... Mas lalo yatang pumula ang pisngi niya nang maaalala kung gaano kasarap sa pakiramdam nang pinunan na ni Kieffer ang—

"You'll sleep in my penthouse tonight. Ipalilinis ko muna ang suite mo."

Mabilis na tumango siya para hindi na humaba pa ang usapan. "K-kumain na tayo. Nagugutom na t-talaga ako."