13. The Haunting Feeling

I didn't expect her to be at my place, I didn't even know how she got in. Fred looked at me, as he help me to sit on the couch.

She was surprised seeing my battered state, but she kept herself silent in front of Fred.

"You can leave now Fred." I finally let my words out in my shaky voice, as I struggled to sit down on my couch. My head was still pounding, my stomach was still hurting as move to sit my ass on the couch.

"But I need to clean your wounds..." He told me, as I know he must be feeling the guilt.

"Leave!" I shouted at him, I was feeling overwhelmed by everything. And now I have Megan who was waiting for our talk.

I'm done. I'm so fucking done.

Fred left my place with his head down, and closed the door behind him.

I was about to talk to Megan, when she got on her phone and speak to the other line.

I sighed and rest my bruised back and closed my eyes. But the image of the screaming woman came back to me, making me palmed my face and try to keep it all in.

"Olga my dear, sorry to bother you. But I need a favor, your cousin. Yes, Maxim the one that also work at an ER. I need him to tend to my friend, no...he couldn't get to a hospital. No... it's the nature of his wounds, I think. I don't want any paper trails...yes, I'll text you the address. Oh and for tomorrow let's move the lunch to dinner? Are you good? Thank you dear....yes, I'll see you tomorrow." Then she hang up and went to my kitchen, and get me a glass of water.

"You don't have to do that. I can take care of myself...." But I took the water and thanked her for it.

"It's the Russian isn't? You took my money and paid them off and they still beat you? What the actual fuck happen Gary?"

Then I told her everything. I didn't care anymore, I didn't give a damn if she would tell the whole world that I killed a guy. I was done. I was so tired already.

"I killed a guy! I fucking killed a guy in front of his screaming and weeping woman. And the crowd cheered for me. What the fuck is wrong with those people?"

She sat next to me and wrapped her arms around me, she took me and put my head on the crook of her neck. I sobbed in her arms, finally letting all my feelings poured out. I felt like a killer, then I suddenly got up and went to the sink and unwrapped my hands and started scrubbing them raw. I panicked as I saw the water was turning red.

"His blood...." I wiped my tears roughly and keep on scrubbing my hands.

"His blood is on my hands, I can't get it off...." My voice was croaked. I kept on scrubbing it raw, until Megan took my hands and wrapped it, with a kitchen towel.

"It's your blood baby. You're scrubbing your own skin off...sshh...you're going to be just fine. I got you...come let sit back down and wait for the doctor."

Minutes later he came. He was surprised to see the extent of my bruises and that I was still alert and mobile. Honestly I couldn't even see anything from my left eye, it was swollen so bad.

"Megan, this is bad. Really bad. I'm just going to patch him up tonight and load him up with pain meds. But he needs an x-ray. I'll give you my clinic address, just go there in the morning, and tell the girl in the front desk that I sent for you. No paper trail, no question asked...." They talked some more as she introduced me to him.

I was starting to get annoyed, as he was looking comfortable enough talking to Megan, like they know each other for more than friends.

Shit! Why am I even thinking about that now?

"Gary, I'm Maxim, this is going to hurt but I need to look at your wounds." He took my vitals and then look at my wounds. He told me that my hand might be fractured.

I let him him do his thing, while I kept on looking at Megan. I was looking at the way that she was looking at this Maxim fellow. Then she caught me while I was looking at her, making her smirked.

Maxim was done with me an hour later, then leave me some pain med. "I think you're good with pain, but just in case. You're a boxer right? Why don't you get an MRI also for your head just to be safe. You know the drill then the cold and hot shower? Ok...take it after this. And Megan, he needs ice, you need to ice his face also his stomach."

"You really need to get away from the underground boxing Gary, it's not good for long term. There's this Russian gang that has been piling up dead bodies, all battered knuckles fighters like you."

"Dimitri." I blurted out his name. I just didn't care anymore, aside from this weird vibe I got for Megan,  I was done with everything else.

"Shit! Did he fucking do this to you? Damn Megan your boy here, got in with the wrong crowd. I'm sending Nikolai here tomorrow morning. His man could be lurking at this very moment. You could also be in danger Megan. I'm sending my guys now to prowl the parameters just for precaution." He told her, as he packed away his medical kit bag.

"No! Were good. No Nikolai, Max...just the parameter thing then I'll take your guards for our protection, just send me the bills." She was by my side with the ice wrapped in kitchen napkin, then she gently put it on my swollen eye.

"Fuck the bills Megan, after what you've done to our Olga, we owed you our lives, and you know that. Well, maybe no Nikolai tomorrow, I don't think he's over you just yet." He chuckled and let the sentence hang, as I looked at her. She just shrugged at me.

"Just stay away from Dimitri, we got him. Just heal yourself and recuperate." He patted my arm and said his goodbye to us.

I started to get up, and went to the shower. I was groaning in frustration, as I couldn't even strip naked for the shower.

"Here, let me help you baby. Just relax, I got you..." She stripped me naked and put on the cold shower. My body shivered as I felt the coldness sipped to my bruises. She help me wash the blood and sweat away and then continue with the hot shower minutes later, making me relaxed my muscles as I sigh in content.

Then she lay beside me in my bed after she tended all my bruises with my trustee cream and some other medical ointment that Max gave earlier.

It's the screams, she's screaming for the guy that I kill with my knuckles, the guy that I beat to death.

I woke up sweating, my breaths were heavy, then I felt it again. The sadness, the guilt, the numbness all washed over me in one go. I could feel a tear, slipped from the corner of my eyes.

But then I felt her hand touched my naked back. "It's okay baby, come back to sleep. You're going to be just fine. I got you..."

Her words were like a lullaby in my ear. She pulled me to lay back beside her, and caressed my hair. Then she told me to go back to sleep, and that she would hold me until morning.