Chapter II.6: A Troubled Heart Of An Innocent Man

"Hindi pa rin nabubuo ang katawan ni Voltes V dahil nasa kamay ng kalaban ang natatangi at nag-iisang," I spread my one arm like a ninja facing an enemy, while my other is holding the last piece of her pajamas. "Pink baby socks ni Megumi Oka."

She excitedly pumps her arms and legs as she watches me approach her slowly in a woven leather white sofa, lying helplessly in our large, spacious living room. "Dahil dyan, wala ka ng kawala kay tickle daddy!" I energetically pounced towards her with pure care and tickled her stomach with my mouth, she trembled in cute and babyish laughter as I continue to ravage her.

"A-buh-buh-buh." I sounded.

"Sir Bryan?" It startled me and made me jump on my feet.

Ate Clara.

She's looking at me with clear amusement showing in her face.

I forgot, she's still here.

I can feel my cheeks heating up just remembering how I play Althea with my childish acts.

I gulped and hurriedly fit Althea's socks on her feet as if trying to cover the obvious crime.

Hindi naman naiwasan ni Ate Clara na mapatawa sa nahantungan and all I could do was give her a half smile in embarrassment. "Sir Bryan, I don't mind, really. After all, I'm glad on how you treat Althea." She reassured me.

I know but still, I sighed in relief.

"Natapos na po pala ang lahat ng gawain, babalik na po ko sa headquarters namin. Naayos ko na rin yung crib ni Baby Althea sa kwarto nyo. May kailangan pa po ba kayo?" She asks which I shook my head hastily.

Ate Clara is always the last to bid a goodnight, aside from the real Mayordoma, she usually witnesses my childish playtime with Althea. I might have done this ever since I came into this house but it still makes me blush and gets embarrassed.

"Salamat po Ate Clara, okay na po kami. Matulog na po kayo." Ngiti ko sa kanya.

They have basic rules to follow in this house, ordered by my wife's grandmother. Honestly, I cannot move freely whenever Mayordoma is present.

One of it is Althea has her own room and I cannot be with her during bedtime. They said it is for her own safety, development and independence, although I don't have proper knowledge in parenting babies, I heartily believe that it was wrong.

When I was kid without father and mother by my side, I always thought that enveloping myself with a thick blanket never gets me through the cold night.

I always hate the feeling of sadness every time the moon rises up in the dark sky.

Just reminiscing the past breaks my heart for my daughter.

And if my wife had experience this ever since.

It is just so cruel.

Kaya naman sa tuwing wala si Mayordoma ay pinapatulog ko sa kwarto si Althea, I feel better at night. When she's apart from me, my mind is in turbulence that I can't embrace a good sleep, thus sneaking and checking on her would make my worries fade away. Even though we have an advance baby monitoring system installed, iba pa rin talaga kapag nandyan ka parati sa kanila.

She's just so fragile.

"Thank you ulit." I bowed to her and she gladly returned the same gesture to me.

She's so polite despite of our age differences, even if I keep on telling her to call me Bryan and stop the "po", she never listens.

They always say, "That was the master's statement, an unbreakable order."

They say that her orders were absolute and unbendable just like an imperial decree of a king.

I couldn't agree more.

Because I was never the master of this house, orders don't come from me, but rather the woman who I am married to and bore this very beautiful being, enjoying her little throne, our princess Althea.

I am.

Just her first lady.

That thought made me sigh.

She walks toward Althea and bent down a little to look at her closely as I stepped back a little.

Althea, by pure instinct, instantly reacts with her famous beam.

"Hindi nga po ako nagkakamali, when I saw her eyes, I remember your wife." She playfully makes face for Althea that gains her favorable level of heightened twinkle.

I flinched as she mentioned the important features of my wife.

Everyone said the same thing.

From the very beginning.

Since I saw Althea's eyes… I always… always see it as a replica of hers, that it made me a willing captive, allured in a deep, dark, endless pit.

"But," She cuts my train of thoughts.

I leveled my eyes a bit to Ate Clara, her height is no match as I am and I am very much aware of my stature.

"But it doesn't just resemble her at all." She implied and I'm confused.

"Ano pong ibig nyong sabihin?" I asked her as I gaze on Althea, studying her face.

She exhaled, stood up and faced me. "If I say that the light and darkness are side by side each other without subjugating the other, would you believe me?"

Light and darkness? Without conquering the other.

I shook my head. "No, the stronger can conquer the weak."

"And who says which is which?" She asked in disbelief.

"The flow of nature." I defended.

She held my hands, I just realized how cold mine was but her warmth started to pour in when she squeezed it.

A warmth of a mother.

"That's why a thin line in between them always exists, to keep them together."

A thin line.

A thin line.

My brain trying hard to pump for ideas and apprehension.

But then something just hit me.

My eyes widened and I gasped.

Just like.

"Are—are you..." I trailed off.

She nodded. "Yes."

"They don't merge into one, they both exist in their own time, one might surface while the other hides away but it never vanishes. That's why we always thought it is about gaining and losing the control, pushing and pulling but the truth is, both must give way for each other to live, the give and take relationship."

Water and oil.

Sun and moon.

Light and dark.

Cold and warmth.

Yin and Yang.

I looked at Althea who is staring at us.

She is the line between the opposites.

She is the fruit of plus in two beings.

I breathe out, knelt in front of her, touches her cheeks and once again, draw myself in her eyes.

I almost lose my breathe.

"She maybe has the eyes of your wife but the reflection in it is purely yours." Ate Clara says.

I gulped as if something is blocking my throat.

I always thought… always… that you resemble her but no… you were mine too.

"An ocean isn't beautiful without its living creatures. You would always see it as one plain sight but the moment you start to dive in, that's when you'll understand its true beauty." She gently says.

For a wanderer like me, I will always get lost and never stop roaming to find the end.

I stare at her for seconds, a minute and I don't know for how long that my mind is like an empty sheet begging for inks to splatter on its body, until I heard Ate Clara's farewell.

"Babalik na po ko sa headquarters, ipaalam nyo lang po samin kung may kailangan pa kayo. Keep warm, it is very cold at night." She finally says and all I could do was nod inattentively.

(A/N: Background song: Beautiful Moment by K.Will)

I can't remember for how long it took me to stand up and take her up in my arms, supporting her head and back with my hands and as I continue to lock my eyes on her.

I urge her to smile at me and she did.

She instantly showed me her pink gums.

My mind almost played me a trick, that I am standing in the middle of cold, winter nights in Norway and the northern lights dancing above is her sparkling, warm smiles.

"You can't speak but you can understand me."

I'm allured to her innocent and beautiful eyes that can hold a million stars in the night.

The moonlight passing through all the high windows in the large living room, touches the head of Althea, forming an angelic halo, it evenly intensifies the heavenly aura of the dark night with the dim light in coffered ceilings.

Why?

Whenever I feel something swelling in my chest, with just a smile in your lips, it instantly fades away.

You are so beautiful.

I kissed her forehead.

And lift her on my shoulder height, body parallel to mine, lay her head on my shoulder, a soft and small heartbeat against my loud one.

I sway my body gently, caressing her back to sleep.

"Thank you for coming into my life, Althea."

I started to hum a hymn.

"Don't walk away I'm falling down"

I closed my eyes as I dance my beautiful girl in the middle of cold and starry night, to our silent sanctuary where we belong with dancing cicadas summoning their other half.

"Don't walk away I'm falling down"

I'll hum you a song, sending you my every night wishes.

"The starlight gets deeper in the night sky"

In a world with uncertain meets and ends.

"I'm still waiting for you at that place"

I paused and listened to Althea's breathing, soft but deep and sound.

She's sound asleep.

I continued to sing.

"Even if you don't speak for a while"

My mind wanted to show me the figure of a woman I have always tried to avoid.

"Just looking into your eyes"

Eyes that says nothing but made me feel something.

"I know you, I feel you"

In that moment, I realized… I couldn't escape.

"Far into the horizon of the night sky that envelops the sun"

She became one of the stars that I couldn't reach.

Our distance started to grew apart.

"I'll be your star and always protect you"

As I try to chase her, holding out my dreams, calling for her name.

"The most beautiful times of my life"

The more I realize that I could never close the space between us.

"And the thick slumber that I kept for you"

If one day she became a falling star, I really wish I will be in the right place to catch her.

"I hope it reaches you, only you"

I hugged Althea more.

The little object in my chest is aching.

I am holding the pain struggling to escape in my eyes and all I could is to tightly close my eyelids.

Everything is okay.

I can hold it in.

I can still wait.

I can bear it.

I believe, all prayers will be answered someday.

♥♣♠♦♠♣♥

Arnold is standing in the far corner of the luxurious living room that from the flooring to the interior layout up into the dim lights of coffered ceiling mark the lavish quality of every piece.

He watches Bryan savoring his quiet and alone moment with Althea and listening to his song of painful melody and a silent cry of a siren.

He looks like a lone, seeking wolf howling to his lost packs in the middle of cold, full moon.

But of course, Bryan would never realize because he is always naïve and pure.

In his 40 years of working with the Mapache family, he witnessed all the sides of individual members including their spouses but only Bryan is the rarest.

Given that their master who is very picky, has chosen him simply means that he is more than special.

When Trixie announced that she'll be married to a young and newly recognized chef in the food industry, it brought chaos, storm, whirlwinds and turbulence in the entire household from the bottom up to the top.

Even the lower wage-earner such as him couldn't believe it.

Everyone was against him.

But Trixie was made of rock and crafted into stalactite hanging for centuries in a deep, icy cave, she never yields to anybody not even to the most powerful head of the family.

And until now, she never gave an explanation of why she chose him because she actually never cared from the beginning.

Finally, Arnold shook his head to sway away his troubling thoughts and decided to step in.

"Bryan." He calls out quietly, he saw him flinched and he just stood there with his back on Arnold's view as if he doesn't want to face him. Usually, he's the first person who leaves this place at nighttime but because of the matters that delayed his stay, he has witnessed one of the many nights Bryan doesn't want to exhibit.

He looks like someone who wants to be left alone, just as Arnold decided to leave quietly, Bryan turned around and faced him.

Ah, he's trying to collect himself is what Arnold thoughts.

Arnold, as the head-strong leader of the family security doesn't show a change of emotion as soon as he saw Bryan's face.

"How was it?" Bryan says in a low voice, probably trying to keep Althea from waking up.

Arnold breathes out and nodded, poking him out of his senses.

"I cleared up the mess. Kinausap ko na yung security team ng Villa District na 'to and they already replaced all their staffs na involved at responsible sa pangyayari. To extend their apology, nothing will be leaked. Napag-alaman ko rin na dito nagtatrabaho yung kasamahan ng asawa ni Wally bilang sweeper kaya naman madali silang nakapuslit. But have no worries, kahit ang daga ay kayang takasan ang isang agila sa isang makapal na gubat and we'll make sure na na-cover ang kahit ano mang butas na pwede nyang malusutan kaya naman sleep well." He left all the details to Bryan, he can sense that he's not in the mood to hear his reports.

But he's too polite to refuse.

Arnold breathes out heavily. "May good night be with you." He deeply says.

Bryan remained silent, looking down at Althea, but his hand is gently caressing her back, he's in a deep thought, then he looked up.

And smiled that made Arnold close his eyes as if he can't bear what he's seeing.

"Thank you, Kuya Arnold. I prepared Lavender tea in the dining area, please drink it before going to bed, it will help you relieve your exhaustion." He simply replied back and walks toward the staircase with quiet footsteps.

Arnold opened his eyes and could only sigh.

This isn't the right time to approach him, he should have left and that just occurred to him.

Bryan is the kind of person who can still afford to smile even if his eyes are conveying the opposite.

For a normal person with red and heavy eyes, one cannot contain holding back their tears but why can he?

He's like an open book but behind those pages lie another thick layer.

As he paves his way towards the exit, he whispered to cold, freezing air.

"I don't understand who is the cruel one. Is it her?

Or him?"

Then.

"Ugh, my lavender tea."