Chapter 17

Jungkook's POV

2 weeks

2 weeks of this guilt inside me, eating me

I can't live with it anymore

I tried--- i fucking tried to talk to Jimin

flashback

I knocked on his door

"Jimin please open the door. Let me explain everything"

I couldn't hear any noise from the other side but when I kept my ear on door. I could hear broken sobs

Broken sobs

Of broken hearts

Why did i do this?

Is it too late?

"Please Jimin. Open the door" I pleaded

I heard nothing, only sobs

"Don't cry Jimin. Please, it was my fault! listen to me once" I beat on the door

"Please. If you think, I'll leave from here, you are wrong. I'm not gonna move from here until you allow me to explain once. Please" I sat down in front the door

It was 2 hours since I'm sitting here, no sound

"I'm still here, Jimin. I won't go" I yelled once again

It has been 4 hours now. I'm sorry, Jimin. I break down. I can't hold it anymore. This is how he felt, when I ignored him. I'll never do it again. I promise, but please give me one chance

"Jimin please" I cried out

"Go away Jungkook! I don't want to hear anything anymore. It. Is. Over. Just leave me alone!!" Jimin shouted from that side of the barrier

"Jimin, please--"

"No! it's final. Go away, if you don't want me to do something stupid!"

"Don't. You. Dare. Jimin"

"I'll, if you don't leave from here"

"Okay, fine. I'll go but please don't harm yourself"

I did as his wish, Went away from him.

flashback ends

Jin hyung supported me but I feel no hope. He called me to dinner but I don't feel like eating, but he was persistent.

I walked down to the living room where the dinner was served. there he sat looking as beautiful as ever. why did I never saw that

Regret.

There was a seat beside him and I quickly sat there. he was shocked and tried to get up from his place. but I caught his wrist. he turned to face me and tried to free his hand. I tighten my hold on his hand

"Please Jimin, there are other members here. we can't always stay like this. we have to perform together. if not for me, but for other members and ARMY, stay" i requested looking in his eyes

He hesitated but agreed and sat down. he tried removing his hand but i held his hand down and intertwined our hands. his were so small, chubby and warm, VERY WARM. he eventually gave up but not before glaring at me, which was not at all scary. it was adorable

"Cute" i said smiling brightly

He looked at me with shock evident in his eyes. crimson color took place over his face. i squeeze his hand.

He ignored me

Everyone started eating but Jimin was just playing with his food

"Why are you not eating Jimin?" i asked loudly attracting everyone's attention

"I-I'm not hungry" he said quietly looking down

"You should eat chim!" Taehyung said

"I know . but I don't feel like eating" he replied

"Are you okay, Jimin?" Jin asked

"I'm fine, hyung" he answered

He got up from his place, removed his hand and left his food just like that

"Where are you going" Hoseok hyung

"Room"

"But food--" Namjoon hyung started

"I don't feel like eating!" he shouted

He stills on his place for a second and then the next moment he was falling down. i got up and caught him before he could hit the ground

"Jimin!--Jimin!" i shouted, shaking him

All the members were around us

"take him to his room!" Yoongi hyung commended

I carried him in the bridal style to his room. i lay him on this bed and checked his temperature

"He is burning" i said removing my hand from his fore head

"I'll call the doctor!" Namjoon ran out

"Jin hyung, can you make some soup, so that he could eat when he wakes up" i asked

"of course!. Tae come with me . i'll send an ice pack" he went outside

Hoseok and Yoongi hyung opened the windows and made arrangement for the doctor

Taehyung came with an ice pack and i kept it on his hand

Namjoon came in with the doctor. he examined Jimin and turned towards us to ask some questions

"Did he ate properly?" he asked

"No" Yoongi hyung replied

"Was he stressed lately?"

"Yes....." Namjoon hyung answered

"So, you have nothing to be afraid of. he is unconscious because of him stressing, not eating which lead him to have fever" he informed us

"He will be fine!?" i asked him

"Of course, he will be. just make sure, he eats properly and doesn't stress and in a few days he will be healthy as rabbit. here are the medicines give him one after his breakfast for 1 week" he smiled

Hoseok and Yoongi hyung went with the doctor

Jimin coughed and tried to get up so i helped him and removed the ice pack

"Rest! you are having fever" i said

"chim! don't scare us like that again" Tae scolded him

"yeah! from now on, i'm placing Jin to take care of your food and you have to eat everything" Namjoon hyung ordered

"Jimin you are awake! if you give me a heart attack like that, i-- i won't talk to you" Hoseok hyung returned

Yoongi hyung simply ruffled his hair and smiled saying "take care"

"okay. i'll" Jimin smiled weakly

Jin hyung came with the soup and gave it to me and winked at me. this way i can talk to him Jin hyung went near Jimin and gave a kiss on the forehead

"don't do anything like this Jimin. please" Jin hyung pleaded

" i won't. i'm sorry" Jimin said looking down, tears in his eyes. he hugged Jin hyung and broke down. he motioned everyone to leave except me

"calm down, Jimin. everything will be fine" he ran his fingers through his locks

i know Jin hyung can comfort anyone. he is like our second mum. we love him. he knows what to say at the right moment

"Jimin. Eat" he looked at us before leaving the room and closing it

"Go away Jungkook, i don't want to talk to you" he said coldly

"Well....you're weak right now and i'll do whatever i want"

I sat down beside him with tray in my hand. i stirred the soup and took a spoon towards his mouth. he didn't open his mouth

"Jimin, don't let me feed you forcefully. i can do that" i said in low voice

"Fuck you" he said but opened his mouth and i started feeding him until......he finished his soup

He have some soup on the corner of his lips so, i wiped it with my thumb. he looked shocked

"What?!" i asked

"Don't touch me" he warned

"Jimin, i'm sorry for what i did, i know i hurt you, i know i broke your heart but i ignored you not because i don't love you, its just because i was testing whether i can live without you or not. i can't Jimin, i can't live without you. please i'm sorry for everything"

"I don't care whatever you do, but you know what, i got to know that i can live without you. so get out my room and my life!"

"Please jimin...."

"Do you love me?" he asked looking directly into my eyes

His eyes spoke all the hurt and pain he hid from all of us (we all do that)

"Y-yeah I love you" i stuttered

"When you can't even say 'i love you' to me without stuttering and there is panic in your voice, it is not naturally. it is a forced ' i love you' and i don't need that. you got your answer. i got mine. now leave!" he turned his head away

Is there no hope

Not at all

I held his hands and tears started flowing down my cheeks. he turned around to remove his hand but his angry expression turned into worry and shock seeing my tears

He tried removing his hand and but i didn't let go. i pulled him into hug. i broke down into his arms

"P-please Jimin.....h-hold me tight. n-never let go" i cried

"No Jungkook,, l-listen to me. it is good for us to separate our ways. we both need time and space to think. move on" he said softly and hugged me back

"I can't move on from you"

"Try"

"Can't" i don't wanna let go

"Jung--Jungkook please you have to" he removed himself from he hug and wiped my tears

" Can we at least not be awkward around members and ARMY?" i asked

"Okay!" he nodded looking down

The pain i caused to both of us. it's my fault why we are in pain

"I--I think this is our last goodbye then" i asked looking at him, tears threatening to fall

"I--I think s-so. p-please don't cry, it will make me harder to l--let go of y-you, to move on" he said looking up

I joined our foreheads together and we looked into each others's eyes

"I'm sorry once again" i said

"It's okay" he said back

I kissed his forehead and he did the same with me

I don't wanna let go!

"Smile before you leave from that door into your new life" he said

"You too" i smiled even though it hurts, it pains

I passed through the door and saw him smiling though tears were there in his eyes. how i want to go to him, comfort him, hug him, kiss him, but......I lost that chance

I ran away from his room. it will never be our room. he will be never be mine. everything's ruined. i ruined it. it's my fault. it is just me and my darkness around my heart......