Black Family Tutelage Aftermath Ⅳ

Even worse at night, Sirius would feel bone-crushing pain in his left leg. The mediwizards and mediwitches said it was phantom limb syndrome. In his mind and to his magic, his leg needed to be healed. Yet there was nothing to heal, since the limb was simply gone. His magic needed to adjust to the prosthetic but until then, it would continue to be painful to walk and move about.

Sirius pulled his hand back as if scaled as his hand curled up into a fist. "Even if I play Quidditch again, Rowan, nothing will ever be the same," he confessed staring down at his fists. "I-, I killed a Death Eater that day. I can still hear his screams of pain before he choked on his own blood and died."

"I always wanted to be an Auror," Sirius's voice dropped into a whisper as he hid his face in the palms of his hands. "I was so sure of being I would be a great hero, and now, all I feel is shame and self-loathing at myself. What kind of dunderhead would be so stupid as to think that!"

Understanding finally dawns in Rowan's eyes. Yes, Sirus was grieving the loss of his left leg, but more than anything else he was coming to terms with the reality and consequences of the attack on Hogsmeade. A boy passing into adulthood with shattered dreams along the way.

"A youth full of hopes and dreams," Rowan gently said. "That does not make you an idiot, Sirius is merely a normal teenage boy, who has yet to experience the harsh realities of life."

Sirius snorted in self-deprecation and sighed into his hands. "And just what am I supposed to do now?"

"Live," Rowan truthfully answered. "You have a loving betrothed, a family who loves you, and friends who care you."

Sirius lowers his hands into his lap. "I don't even feel like I know who I am anymore," he quietly confessed.

"Maybe on what or who you will become," Rowan steadfastly answered, "but the Sirius, I know is a mischievous imp, but a good and loyal friend. A loving but rather annoying older brother to Regulus. And head over heels over Tiffany Topsy that frankly it's rather stifling at times."

A bark of laughter bursts from Sirius, who shakes his head before growing rather still. "That's the first time I have laughed since then."

"Mm, I can believe that," Rowan acknowledged. 

Yet the tiniest of smiles remained on Sirius's face as some of the old light shone in the depths of his gray eyes. "So, did Terry really say I was a 'devious brute, who' plays the fool to 'hide his deep-natured viciousness'?"

"Mm," Rowan nodded her head and pointed to the chessboard. "The way you play, Sirius reveals a lot about your inner self. You are aggressive but deliberate in every move. Wildly unpredictable yet incredibly skilled in drawing your opponent into a hidden trap." 

Sirius slowly begins to perk as a beaming light shines through his eyes at the rare praise from Rowan.

"I will totally deny ever having said this," Rowan pointedly arched her brow at her friend, "but you would have done well in Slytherin, Sirius."

A wide smile slowly spreads on Sirius's face. "Heh, I knew you cared for me, Rowan."

Rowan merely snorts as if to say, "Obviously or I wouldn't be here in the first place."

"Slytherin," Sirius repeated out loud as if tasting the word. "So do you think, I would do well in Politics?" He turned to solemnly ask his friend.

"Undoubtedly," Rowan flatly responded, "your Gryffindorness would be the perfect cover."

"No doubt, Mother and Father would be immensely proud," Sirius pensively reflected as he grew to like the idea more and more. He had always wanted to make a difference in the world, a hero just like Godric Gryffindor. Yet now, he realized how utterly naïve he had been. He almost died in the attack at Hogsmeade and had lost a leg as a direct result.

Many Aurors did not live to retire and those that did were few and far in between. If he chooses to become an Auror there is no guarantee he would live to see another day nor could he ignore the fact that he would be chasing the darkest wizards and witches in society. He would need to defend and attack, and likely kill on the job. He didn't want to see someone die in front of him again even if it was an enemy.

After some thought, Sirius thoughtfully says, "Well, I suppose I won't have to start from the bottom. Do you think I could be the Minister of Magic someday?"

Rowan loudly begins to choke and rapidly begins to regret her words! Sirius Black as the Minister of Magic, just what is the world coming to?!

With watering eyes, Rowan in a raspy voice says, "Perchance a less ambitious position would be the best place to start."

"Of course, Rowan, who do you take me for?" Sirius rolled his eyes in annoyance. "I will start off at a lower position as the Junior Assistant to the Minister for Magic."

Rowan opens and closes her mouth before wisely deciding to keep it shut. She really didn't want to give Sirius any more ideas. And if she felt a few drops of cold sweat creeping down the back of her shirt, it was all purely due to the summer heat!

Changing the subject Rowan said, "Now about Tiffany," she folded her arms over her chest and stared down her nose at him. "Don't think I have forgiven you for being such a prick to her."

Sirius has the grace to flush with shame and guilt. "Right, er," he guiltily rubbed the back of his neck with his hand. "I should probably apologize."

"You think?!" Rowan snorted in disdain. 

"You think I should get her some flowers?" Sirius innocently asked, blinking his eyes at Rowan like a kicked puppy dog.

"Tch," Rowan clicked her tongue against her teeth in frustration.

"Right, some flowers and chocolates," Sirius thoughtfully mumbled starting to make a list in his mind of things to get.

Seeing Sirius otherwise occupied, Rowan gets up and excuses herself with so much as a goodbye. Not that Sirius noticed far too preoccupied in deep thought. He just had to make things right!

Rowan hadn't gone far when she spotted a familiar strawberry blonde bobbed hair peeking around the corner of the hall. "Tiffany, come out, I can see you" she called out upon spotting her friend.

Tiffany stepped out looking as lovely as ever. She had a grace and elegance that had been acquired slowly over the past year. Then again, Tiffany was finally able to grow into herself ever since the death of her former betrothed Vasco Vespucci, who had always belittled her choices and made her feel less than.

"How is Sirius?" Tiffany quickly asked clasping her hands together in front of her chest in trepidation.

"I just knocked some sense into him," Rowan drily said. "Maybe even too much, I would hazard to say."

Tiffany sighs in relief and leans against the wall to slump down in relief. "I've been so worried," she said in a muffled voice hiding her face behind a curtain of hair. "He wouldn't talk to me. He was so quiet and angry all the time."

"That doesn't mean Sirius won't be quiet or angry at times, Tiffany," Rowan confessed. "Sirius is finally at the start of healing, but by no means is it over. There are many things that he is going to have to face and come to terms with."

"I know," Tiffany leaned away from the wall and pushed her hair back from her face. With a steadfast expression, she says, "I am not about to leave Sirius alone. I will always be there right at his side." She firmly held up a fist in the air as if in emphasis, before a bitter expression flashed across her face. "However, I can't help him if he doesn't speak to me!"

"Well, I am the wrong person to say that to Tiffany," Rowan gently gazed at her friend. "That is for Sirius to hear."

"I know," Tiffany wrinkled her nose in understanding, "but that doesn't mean I want to," she unconsciously rubbed her arm with her other hand.

"No, it's not easy by any means," Rowan frankly acknowledged.

Flashing a pretty smile at Rowan, Tiffany leans over and gives Rowan a quick hug. Rowan is stiff for a moment before squeezing Tiffany gently back. With laughter in her eyes, Tiffany wiggles out of Rowan's grasp and says, "You'll definitely be my maid of honor at this rate, Rowan."

Rowan must have shown her horror at the thought because Tiffany lets out peals of laughter before rushing down the hall to Sirius to have a nice long chat with him. They had many things to discuss. And there are many overdue conversations that could no longer continue to be postponed.

Rowan shakes her head and smiles ruefully to herself. She glances at a clock in the corner and decides to find Regulus for a chat. Regulus's first friends in Slytherin had been the identical (twin) female cousins, Florinda and Flortentia Champlain. The only difference between the girls was their colored bows and the fact that one had straight hair and the other curly hair. In all honesty, that is how everyone differentiated them including the Professors.

One of the few people who could distinguish them apart was Regulus. The three of them would often be seen hunched over in the Slytherin common room studying together or playing gobstones and wizarding chess or board games. They had a good friendship to the extent that Bethanie did not feel any jealousy as the three of them acted more like siblings' truth be told.

Rubbing a hand through her hair, Rowan sighed. Regulus tended to keep his emotions close to his chest. He would be a bit more difficult to deal with as he would pretend everything was fine. However, how could be fine? Flortentia was dead.

A loud rumble is heard from her stomach reminding Rowan that dinner was not too far off. Though she was rather hungry at this point, she would prefer to rest. It had been a long day. However, she had things to do, and she wasn't about to ignore Regulus's plight simply because she was tired. With her back straight, she headed off to speak to Regulus, who no doubt had hidden in the library or out on the quidditch pitch. They were his favorite spots or so he always said.