Chapter 1

My name is Krystal and the story I'm about to tell you just might leave you broken like it did me. I'm going to tell this story from my point of view and it's not going to be pretty.

The story is going to start with a 15 year old me about to wake up for another day of school....

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I hear my alarm going off, meaning I have to wake up and go to school. I don't like school, I never have and never will. No one likes me and I really don't like them. Truth be told I do want friends and I have a few but I still feel out of place. They are all so happy and carefree and I'm just quiet and don't say much.

They always try to include me which I appreciate greatly but I just can't help the feeling that I don't fit in. I feel like the odd ball out, probably because I am.

I was raised by my overprotective grandmother that just kept me sheltered my whole life and now that I'm in high school I know nothing. I don't know how to act or how to talk and I certainly don't know what to say or how to fit in. So instead of embarrassing myself I just stay quiet and sit still, just like I was always taught to do.

This fact bugs my friends greatly because they want me to join in and have fun with them. They just don't understand how I feel, I feel like if I step out of place I will get in deep trouble and I don't want that. I hate having people mad at me and yelling at me, it hurts me badly both mentally and emotionally. I just want everyone happy and I want to make them happy, but I feel like I can't.

I get out of bed and use the bathroom then go find some clothes to wear. I scowl at the clothes before me, not because of what brand they are or how they look but because they are so big. I'm overweight and hate it so much it pains me, but I've always been overweight for as long as I can remember. All my baby pictures and pictures of me growing up I was overweight. It's how I was raised and I hate it, now I suffer for it mentally and physically.

I get dressed and look in the mirror and frown even more than I already was. I hate how I look and everything about how I am, I hate myself in general and it bugs me to no bitter end. People can tell me I'm beautiful or pretty but I don't feel it inside and I sure as hell don't see it myself. The guys I like look at me like I'm last months garbage and the guys that like me don't interest me or they think I'm easy because I'm fat. So I just stay alone.

But I do long for someone to love, someone to hold me close and kiss me and make me feel loved. But who could ever love me? I'm hideous in my own eyes so I'm hideous in everyone's eyes as well, the looks they give me tell me that.

I groan loudly as I grab my stuff and leave for school, I don't care how early it is I just want to get away from home. My grandma pisses me off more often than not because she's so paranoid. She stays at the front door and watches outside almost 24/7 and I hate it because I can't turn a single light on in the house because it will give away her position.

"Bye grandma I'll see you later." I tell her in a sour tone as I squeeze past her spot by the door.

"I'd rather you not leave me here alone with these assholes. One day you'll come home and find me dead." She says in a old raspy voice.

"No I won't grandma because no one wants to kill you." I reply and roll my eyes.

"Yes they do! If they didn't they wouldn't be spraying chemicals in my yard!" She shouts at me as she glares out the front door.

"I'm not having this discussion again. Bye." I say with a attitude and rush out of the door to start my long walk to school.

I walk only a few blocks to school but to me it seems like a few miles. Not because I'm fat but because I have to walk by certain houses on the way and if these girls are outside they give me problems.

I'm a nice person, I'll tell you that now; so I am naturally kind and trusting. There's people that like to take advantage of that. There's two girls I love to hate named Crystal and Erica. I always give them the benefit of the doubt and trust them only for them to backstab me and make fun of me. I can't avoid them because they live on the corner of the main street I pass by to get home so unless I go completely around my neighborhood I have to see them.

Lucky for me today they weren't outside, but I did run into someone else. He's a friend of me and my best friend Heidi, his name is Mike and he's been hanging around a lot to see me. It's obvious he has a crush on me but the guy creeps me out. Everything from the look in his eye to the way he laughs and even his facial expression and body language just give me a creepy vibe.

"Hey Krystal! Good morning!" He shouts as he runs up to me and gives me a hug.

"Good morning Mike. What are you doing up so early?" I ask as I give him a small hug in return.

"I was just hoping to see you, alone for once."

"Oh...ok...umm...why is that?" I ask nervously.

"I wanted to talk to you about something privately and I know I couldn't do that if you were around Heidi." he replies nervously and a bit shyly.

"Oh, Ok. So what's on your mind?"

"You honestly. I'm sure you caught the vibe that I like you right?" He asks me nervously as we walk down the street.

"Well, yeah. I wasn't 100% sure though because guys don't normally like me at all." I tell him sadly as he keeps pace with me.

"I don't see why Krystal. You're beautiful in so many ways." He says softly and smiles at me but the smile fades when he sees that I'm not smiling.

"I don't see how, I'm fat and fat people aren't desired by anyone. The only guys that want me are the ones that think I'm easy because of my weight. They just want me for sex so if that's what you're thinking you can back off now." I tell him in a rude and harsh tone and glare at him.

"That's not my intention Krystal, honestly. I actually like you for you, I won't deny I'd love to have sex with you and make you scream my name in pleasure but I really do like you." He says in a flirty and seductive tone that just made me want to gag.

"So you're just like the others then. I'm sorry Mike but no, my plan is to wait until marriage so if you just want sex go find some other girl." I tell him firmly and rush ahead towards school.

After a minute I look back and see that he isn't following me. I breathe a sigh of relief and walk at my normal pace again and walk into school.

Once inside the school I walk to the cafeteria area and sit at the outside table me and my friends hang out at. I plop my backpack on the table and rest my head on it, I sit there and think about Mike and wonder why he likes me when no one else does.

"Hey Krystal. You're here early." I hear my friend Katrina say as she sits down.

"Hey Katrina." I reply sadly.

"What's wrong?" She asks with concern and gently touches my arm, I look at her and smile slightly at her concern but I can't hold the smile.

"On the way to school a guy I know stopped me and told me he likes me."

"Well that's good. Do you like him as well?"

"No. He honestly creeps me out and that's the problem, I do want someone but I don't want him. He says he likes me for me but he also admitted he'd like to have sex with me and make me scream his name in pleasure." I tell her and groan.

"Well tell him to back off and if he doesn't I'll beat him up." She says with a smile and a slightly evil laugh.

"I did and if he doesn't I'll let you know." I tell her with a small smile.

I won't tell her anything though because I hate starting drama and I hate people hurting because of me. Even if the person deserves it I don't like the idea of someone in pain or hurting.

"Hey guys. What's up?" I hear my friend Ralph say as he walks up and puts his backpack on the table.

"Krystal ran into a guy this morning that confessed he likes her." Katrina says with a smile.

"Really?! Wow I hope you snatched him up because it probably won't happen ever again." Ralph says teasingly causing Katrina to smack him while I groan and turn away.

Ralph likes to play around and tease, I don't mind it because I know he doesn't mean it in a hurtful way but it does still bug me sometimes. Today is one of those times because I really don't like Mike at all.

"Shut up Ralph! She doesn't like the guy, she says he's creepy to her." Katrina says in a scolding tone.

"What's wrong with him? It's not like he's Jason Vorhees or something." He says defensively.

"No but he's already 18 and at least 6 feet tall. He's bigger than me and undoubtedly stronger, he has a creepy laugh and just looking into his eyes makes me  feel uneasy." I explain causing their jaws to drop.

"He's bigger than you? Wow that's a big dude." Ralph laughs making Katrina hitbhim again. "Owww!" He whines as he rubs his arm.

"Keep talking shit and I'll really hurt you next time." Katrina says menacingly making Ralph scoot away from her. "Thought so."

"It's ok Katrina. I know he doesn't mean it in a hurtful way. Really I'm more worried about Mike, I got a feeling he won't let up and he's going to keep pursuing me." I say sadly as the bell rings. "Let's go to class. I'll see you guys at lunch." I say with a sigh as I grab my stuff. "Bye guys."

"Bye." They say at the same time as we all walk our separate ways.

I hate my classes for many reasons. One is because no one willingly sits next to me or wants to work with me and two because I don't understand anything. No matter how much I pay attention or how many notes I take I can never get a passing grade. Math is my absolute worst subject, I can't pass it to save my life. I've repeated the same math class since I started high school, that fact alone is discouraging.

I just sit in each class quietly and pay attention, I always get good marks but my grades never match the marks. A lot of teachers got extremely confused because they see me paying attention and doing my work but I just can't pass, none of them could understand why that is.

Lunch time finally came around and I went back to the table I was at this morning with my friends. None of us really eat lunch so we just talk and play card games. We always had fun and that's what made school worth attending, having fun and being with my friends.

I soon forgot my problems from this morning and went about my day as normal. My final classes I don't mind much because I was in choir and I loved choir, I liked to sing but hated to be put on the spot. I would freeze and mess up my words so badly. Lucky for me I never got picked to sing solo so I was in the clear.

When the final bell rang and I left school for the day and went to my friend Heidi's house like always and there he was waiting for me.

"Mike."