Jane Spencer

He's a real person?

Then... how's he in my dream? I've been trying to wrap my head around this for the past 5 hours. I know I said I'd really like for it to be a real human being, but, and I know I can't trust words said in dreams, but, it felt true.

I've taken the liberty of asking a few people if they know a Jesse who's a lawyer, but no one seems to know him. I don't even know the guy's surname, so that didn't help my case.

"Vanessa!" I turn around. It's Sarah.

"Hi," I say

"I just wanted to tell you, since that's all I can do, I spoke to the coach and the principal and they both think it'll be excellent for you to be part of a physical extracurricular activity. Plus," she leans in, "it'll sure look good on your resume."

"Uh," I told her, didn't I, that I didn't want to join? I look around me and notice old Professor Grant walking by, and call out, "Professor Grant!" rushing to his side, not looking back.

"Yes?"

"Uh..." shoot. Um! Ah, "Say, did Rosie ever mention anything about our grandma or her weird dreams?" I say, remembering her drunken slur.

"I'm not sure. Let me check and see."

"Sure. Thank you." I smile, quickly running to my next class.

"Rosie?" I call, seeing my sister standing at the dean's office.

"Hi, Vee," she smiles, but she looks tired. I can understand that. My dark circles are so deep, even the toughest of concealers wouldn't cut it, and my body is always lethargic. Did she get called in because I'm not able to keep up in class anymore? Oops. It's just that the teachers talk too fast and I can't write notes at the same time. Boy, do I need sleep.

"What are you doing here?" I ask, ashamed

"Oh,...Allie got called in because Seth got caught smoking.... They wanted to check her too."

"Oh. Why are you...?"

"She needed a ride. It's no biggie." She laughs it off, but I know she's really pushing herself.

"I'll walk her home. You get some rest." I say, fighting a yawn.

"You need more of that than I do. It's fine." She crosses her arms.

I push her to her car, "I have to walk that way anyway. Go home. Professor Grant could use a ride now anyhow."

She hesitates, "Vanessa," she doesn't continue, so I push, "What is it?"

She bites her lip, "Can you join us in the session today too?"

"...sure."

"Did you know Seth smoked?" I ask when Allie gets out of the dean's office.

".. yeah. I did. But, not that he smoked on campus." She looks around, "Where's Rosie?"

"I sent her home. She was dead on her feet."

She looks closely at me, "Is that a McCarthy trait?"

I frown at her bluntness. "Did you get into trouble?"

"No. I had nothing on me and Seth said so too, so I'm off the hook."

"Are you guys gonna fight?"

"No." I look at her, surprised, "I'm gonna break up with him."

I laugh. That's the Allie, I know.

Sure enough, by the end of the day, I saw Allie and Seth kissing near the gate.

"Sugar lips, I'm sorry."

I groan and walk up to them, grabbing Allie's arm, "Come on, Bleeding Lips. We gotta go."

They laugh and we walk in silence together.

"I kissed him as soon as I told him I'm breaking up with him, by the way."

"Cool."

"We didn't stop until just now. An hour, I think."

" 'kay."

"Matt wore a new black shirt today."

"Hmm,"

"I think he looks pretty good in black. What do you think?"

"Okay."

"Nessie."

"Yeah, okay, "

"Vanessa!" I jump.

"Y-yeah?" I stare at Allie. What had she been saying? My mind had wandered off to trying to figure out how to find Jesse.

"Yes or no?"

"Pardon?"

"Yes. Or. No?" She smiles sweetly

"Um, yes?" What did I agree to?

"Okay. Bye."

"Hold on," I notice we've reached our homes and she's already gone in.

I sigh, walking in. Who knows what she's going to force me into doing.

I'm greeted by Professor Grant and Rosie, and I groan internally.

I'd forgotten about the session.

_______________________________________________

"Vanessa, I'd like to speak with you. " Professor Grant calls out as he heads for the door.

I follow him, curiously.

"You were asking about your grandmother."

"Ah,"

"It says Rosie once said your grandmother was 'delusional and would tell everyone she could speak to someone in her dreams. Someone she'd never met before.' I know you weren't old enough to remember her. I'm guessing Rosie told you something about it and you were curious."

I nod, mind already somewhere else, "Mind you, I don't go around telling my client's details to everyone, but I know this is a dual case and the information didn't seem too important. You can do with it what you will. You should also know, I've told your sister before divulging this information."

"Of course. Of course. Thank you."

He drives off and I'm left with a weird sense that my grandmother went through the same thing I'm going through. Only difference is I didn't tell anyone. Or maybe the only person she told, was my 5 year old sister who called her a monkey.

I don't manage to get any work done again, but my sister doesn't say anything. She says we should both sleep instead before we do anything else.

"Rosie, which grandma was it that told you about her dreams?"

She looks amused, "Why that all of a sudden?"

I frown and then realize. He didn't tell her that he was going to tell me. Prick.

"No reason. You were talking about it when you were drunk and I was curious."

"Oh, " she laughs, "Jane Spencer. Her maiden name. She was on our dad's side."

"Jane? I don't remember her."

"That's 'coz she isn't directly related. She married into the family."

I frown. "That makes no sense," I mumble

"What makes no sense?"

"Ah, nothing."

I can't sleep.

It's ironic, really. I'm dying from lack of sleep but I find it so hard to fall asleep.

If only I could choose when to dream of Jesse and when not to.

Maybe I should read a book?

I try reading for some time, but that doesn't work. I try some children's stories, but that seemed even more interesting than the adult ones, so I put that away, not learning where Timothy the Duck had lost his sock, and crawled, instead, onto the ledge outside my window, tapping on the metal bars. I take my phone out and turn on the flashlight, flashing it into our opposite neighbors' bedroom window.

'What?' Creevey signs and I call him over.

"Could've just called me." He says from below as I move away to make place for him.

"Less fun," I say

He rolls his eyes, sitting down, "y'know, one of these days, this thing's going to break."

I shrug.

"Can't sleep either?" I ask

He turns to glare at me, "I could perfectly well have slept had it not been for a bright light flashing into my room at midnight."

"How unlucky."

"Why can't you sleep? You certainly need it."

"I officially hate both the Creevey kids."

He laughs, "What'd my sister do to you?"

"Said I looked dead."

He scrutinizes my face and says solemnly, "She ain't lyin', mate."

"I'll push you off."

"Careful! My new black shirt!Tell you what she did do: she convinced Mr. Jerkface to stay back a few more days."

"Okay. I forgive her."

I scrape at the rust on the metal beneath us as Matt watches.

"I've been... having these... dreams...."

"That's a completely normal sentence. Why'd you say it like that?" He frowns, smiling

I don't look at him, "It's the same dream, but it's not. I mean, it continues... each time."

"Uh...huh...?"

"I- there's this guy-- person, who I've never seen before, who's in these dreams. That's why I've been so-- sleepless. Because these dreams are like a second life, that I don't get any rest.

My grandma had the same sort of dreams and nobody believed her. Except she's not related to me, she was married in, but then what-?"

No one talks, then Matt breaks the awkward silence, "I'm not sure I got any of that. Sorry, you're having dreams if some guy and it's making you lose sleep? Your grandma also dreamt of some loser who she'd never met?" He sounds mad.

"Excuse me! He's not a loser."

"Yeah? Well, what do you know?" He jumps down and stalks off back home. I see the lights in the hall turn on, then off as the stairs lights turn on. Then off. His bedroom lights flick on. Then, darkness.

I sigh, of course no one's going to believe that. I'm so stupid. I didn't even plan it out properly before saying it and ended up making him think I was lying to him.