VII

Yoongi woke up that morning in a terrible mood. Something didn't feel quite right and it irritated him more than anything that he couldn't figure it out. He dragged himself out of bed and down the hall to the kitchen, eyes still half shut and wishing that he could just sleep through the whole day but that damned anxiety wasn't allowing him to. He opened the fridge and stared at the food inside that was slowly going bad.

He really had to go shopping soon.

He grabbed some eggs and started absentmindedly cooking them. The feeling was still there and he still couldn't tell why. He thought for a moment, staring off into space and only blinked when he smelled something burning.

Yoongi swore loudly and turned the stove off, glaring at the egg.

"Fuuuck." He groaned. It was lumpy and smoking slightly at the blackened edges, and he knew he dropped a bit (a lot) of shell in.

He dumped the unappealing mess onto a plate and only barely managed to stomach it thanks to the amount of ketchup he drowned it in.

He unceremoniously dumped the plate in the sink and left it to wash later. He was an adult and he could put off doing the dishes as long as he wanted dammit.

Yoongi ran his fingers through his hair nervously. Yesterday had been a mess. He hadn't meant to lash out at Jimin, not in the least, but it had just happened.

He knew he had majorly fucked up when Jimin had yelled at him. He hadn't known Jimin for very long, but he knew enough to be certain that Jimin hated confrontation and wouldn't yell at someone unless they really deserved it.

"I really have to apologize." He mumbled as he walked down the road towards Jimin's house. It was a lot cooler than usual and he was thankful for remembering to put on a jacket before heading out.

Yoongi hesitated to knock on the door.

"What if he's still angry?" He wondered as he stood just outside, "He'll just scream at me to fuck off."

He clenched his fists with determination. "Even if he does I'll still apologize."

He held his breath as he knocked loudly and waited for someone to answer.

He could hear footsteps and he grew more nervous with each one as they came closer to him.

The door swung open and a woman stood there with a hopeful expression until she saw him and it fell immediately.

"Can I help you?" She asked quietly, no longer looking like she was in any state to carry a conversation.

"Uhhh." Yoongi tried to look past her into the house. "Can I talk with Jimin?"

She looked away with a nervous expression and Yoongi could only frown. Something definitely wasn't feeling right.

"He isn't here right now." She whispered hoarsely. It sounded like she'd been crying or screaming.

"Do you know where he is?" the feeling in his stomach was worse than before and it felt as if an alarm was ringing in his head, telling him that he had to go and that he had to go now.

She shook her head and her lip trembled. "He ran out of the house last night and never came home," she let out a broken sob and brought her hands up to hide her face, "it was too dark and foggy to see where he had gone. His father and I have been worried sick, he went out to look but I stayed here in case Jimin decided to come back home."

Yoongi took a step back and stared at her in shock. Jimin... Was missing? Just like how Jiyong was missing?

He had to find Jimin.

Yoongi turned without another word and sprinted down the street as quickly as he could. The worry he felt was palpable and he couldn't focus on anything else.

Where would Jimin have gone?

He wasn't sure. Jimin never came to his house, he definitely would have noticed that. The library? No.

The coffee shop.

He flung the door open as soon as he arrived.

"Is Jimin here!? Have you seen him anywhere!?" Yoongi shouted. He didn't care that it was rude. Jimin could be in trouble or worse and Yoongi knew that he really couldn't afford to waste any time.

The old woman walked out from the back after hearing the bells on the door.

"Jimin? He isn't here." She said, taking in his distressed appearance. "Is everything alright?"

Yoongi shook his head and bit his lip anxiously. "He's missing."

She lost her grip on the mug she was holding and it crashed to the floor, spilling coffee and shattered glass everywhere.

"Hurry." She urged him, "find him before he breaks-"

Yoongi's breath hitched. "Don't." He looked down at the ground and he clenched his fists, uncaring if his nails pressed too deeply into his palms. "I don't even want to think about that."

"Go, child. Go and hope you make it there in time."

He left the coffee shop and ran, although he wasn't sure where he was headed.

He got closer to a place he knew well and he felt a chill pass over him. He hoped to god Jimin wasn't there. The graveyard was just as it had been all those years ago, with only a few more graves. Including his.

He didn't want to go in. He couldn't.

His body wouldn't move.

He couldn't breathe.

Tears slipped down his cheeks and he trembled.

He didn't want to see Hoseok's grave. It was too close, too soon. Too real.

He closed his eyes and counted to ten and back to zero over and over.

He had to ground himself. He had to. For Jimin's sake more than his own.

Jimin, the only one who had tried to get to know him. Jimin, his only friend since Seok had- since the incident.

Jimin, whose smile could light up the dark and whose laugh made all of his self-doubt go away.

With Jimin he felt alive.

There was no way Yoongi was going to lose the only good thing in his life that easily.

He took a few steps and stopped. There were footprints in the dirt. Footprints and skid marks where someone had slid down the hill.

They were pointed away from the graveyard.

Jimin wasn't there.

He heaved a sigh of relief and turned his back on the place he hated so much. Jimin wasn't there. But he had been.

Yoongi wasn't sure how to feel about that knowledge.

He ran in the direction of the prints until he lost them, but by then he knew where he was.

He hoped Jimin had gone to the circle. If he wasn't there, Yoongi wasn't sure what he would do. The forest seemed almost endless, with all the fog and the trees that surround you and make you lose your way until you can't find it anymore. If Jimin was lost somewhere out there, the chances of finding him were so slim that Yoongi didn't even want to believe for a second that it was a possibility.

He slowed as he approached it, his muscles protesting the workout so early in the day. He struggled to catch his breath and calm his racing heartbeat despite how much he had run just to get there. Closer. Closer. Please.

He could have cried when he spotted a curled up figure by the rocks.

Yoongi rushed over and stumbled as he reached Jimin, instantly dropping to his knees and reached out to shake his arm and actually having proof that Jimin was truly there, that he wasn't just Yoongi's imagination playing tricks on him.

"Jimin?" He called softly. "Jimin wake up."

There was no response.

"Jimin?"

Yoongi removed his hand from Jimin's arm to gently touch his cheek.

In that instant, Yoongi could feel his resolve breaking and his soul shattering into millions of tiny shards.

Jimin was as cold as death.

Time froze at that moment and everything stopped. His mind worked overdrive and his breath caught in his throat, refusing to come out or let him breathe in again.

There was no way...

He couldn't have...

He couldn't be-

No. Yoongi refused to believe it. His hand trembled as he gently brushed the blond bangs out of Jimin's face.

There was no way Jimin, his beautiful and kind Jimin, could be gone.

Yoongi slowly picked Jimin up with more care than he'd ever treated anything with before and pulled him into his lap. Jimin's body was completely limp and seemed lifeless in a way that he had never been able to imagine the younger. The Jimin he had come to know was bright and joyful and so full of life that it seemed like even plants would perk up in his presence.

It wasn't fair. How could the world go on knowing that it had lost a sun that brightened up so many other people's lives while someone who was the opposite, the darkness that sucked away that happiness - someone like himself - was still alive and bringing misery to everyone he encountered?

He moved Jimin carefully so that he was almost sitting sideways on Yoongi's lap, his legs hanging off the side and brushing against the ground.

He was shaking with barely restrained sobs as he gently cradled Jimin in a tight hug.

Jimin's hair tickled his neck and the citrusy smell of whatever product Jimin always used finally broke the dam.

The first tears streamed down his cheeks and dripped onto Jimin's shoulder.

He buried his face in the crook of Jimin's neck and cried, holding him as tightly as he could.

Yoongi never wanted to let him go. He was afraid of what it would mean, and what it could cause.

He sat there for a while, completely devastated, sobbing and clutching onto Jimin's thin shirt for any kind of reassurance that the boy wouldn't just turn to dust in his arms and float away.

He had no idea how long it had been since he had left his house that morning, let alone how long it had been until his world had been completely obliterated.

"Jimin..." He whispered as he carefully shifted the boy so he was laying down on his lap, his upper back and head supported by Yoongi's arm.

"Come back to me..."

Jimin was still cold, so so cold, and he didn't like that at all. It made him feel like Jimin was already too far out of his reach and that he would never be able to catch up.

"Jimin you should have worn a sweater at least." Yoongi tried to joke, but his voice cracked in the middle of the sentence as another sob made its way out of his body.

He set Jimin down on the ground and shrugged off his jacket before draping it across Jimin's chest in an effort to cover him and shield him from the cold.

"You just have to warm up." Yoongi's voice wavered. "Everything will be alright, I promise."

He grabbed Jimin's hand and just sat there holding it in silence. Jimin never moved and it just hit Yoongi harder that this was real and that there wasn't anything he could have done to change things.

"Come on Jimin, stop playing around like this. It isn't funny, you know?" His shoulders shook and he looked down at Jimin's face, serenely frozen in an eternal sleep that couldn't be broken by a kiss like those of fairy tales. Life, after all, is no fairy tale.

He smiled with tears freely flowing from his eyes, internally cursing the world, fate, anything and everything he could for every second that Jimin's eyes remained closed.

"Please, Jimin... Scream at me. Shout at me. You can hate me." He lowered his head and his bangs shielded his eyes as he broke down and let the floodgates loose.

"Just please open your eyes. Please." Yoongi pleaded. "Please Jiminnie. Please. Please. Oh god please just wake up. I need you."

Yoongi curled protectively over Jimin and cried, fisting his hands in the jacket and trembled pitifully.

"I need you, please come back to me." He sobbed and gently rocked back and forth in a pitiful effort of grounding himself.

"I'll do anything. Please. Please don't leave me alone. Don't leave me Jiminnie."

His legs were beginning to hurt from kneeling for so long, but his heart hurt so much more than language could ever describe.

He raised his head slowly and leaned over to look at Jimin's face. He looked peaceful in a way that Yoongi was sure he would never feel again, not until he met his own end at least.

He brushed his thumb over Jimin's cheek, cradling his face in his hand like Jimin was a precious treasure, and to Yoongi, in a way, he was. He leaned over and planted a gentle kiss on Jimin's forehead, lips lingering slightly too long on the chilled skin and that pushed him over the edge all over again.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry," the words came out slurred through the tears that dripped from his eyes and landed on Jimin's cheeks only to fall down them as if it were Jimin who was crying instead.

"I promised I'd protect you..." He whispered, resting his forehead against Jimin's and in that moment he had never regretted anything more than not being there for Jimin when he was needed.

He closed his eyes and pretended that it was all just a dream.

That nothing was wrong.

That Jimin was alright.

He never wanted the dream to end.

A large drop of rain suddenly snapped him out of it. Yoongi looked up at the sky and saw the dark clouds overhead and knew that the rain would get harder soon. There was no way they could stay outside if the weather was getting that much worse.

He glanced back at Jimin and shuffled him so that he could be carried. Yoongi slowly and carefully stood up, holding Jimin in a bridal carry with the jacket still draped over him as a terrible makeshift blanket.

He couldn't just leave him there, there was no way in hell Yoongi would ever let himself do that. He slowly started walking back into town, holding Jimin as close to his body as he could, as if to shield him from the rain in any way possible.

The town felt gloomier than usual in Yoongi's eyes, but that was likely because Jimin's smile wasn't lighting it up the same as it once did.

Nothing would ever be the same anymore.