Gone with the wind

Amaka looked at the clock; she had only been here fifteen minutes. She was doing well so far, this time last year she was fuming beneath the surface. Now she just couldn't be asked. Soon they would proceed to her disregard for the place of religion in her children's lives, touch on their slow progress in learning Igbo, chastise her for moving to Abuja, and for the grand finale inform her she would end up alone because the older the children got the less likely any man would be willing to raise them as his own. Chukwuma was her last and only chance. Sure enough as time moved on slowly, her parents stuck to the script and berated Amaka for all she was worth.

When the kids were done watching their cartoon, they all proceeded downstairs to the restaurant for lunch. Her mother cleared her throat and began her traditional long winded prayer marathon. She prayed God would resurrect Amaka's faith as he did Lazarus, asked the Virgin Mary coach her against the sins of the flesh, and lead her to a purer path.

Amaka sniggered here...she was not sure she remembered how to sin with her flesh. Ulonna placed her grandkids in the arms of the Lord and committed their souls to salvation, pleaded that the sins of their parents not be re-visited upon them. Amaka opened one eye to spy Chiamaka yawning widely and Chibuzo licking ketchup off his finger; she winked at them and signalled they be quiet. Her poor babies were hungry. At home, prayers were a simple "Bless this meal". Finally, twenty minutes later they could eat.

During their meal Chibuzo reached for a drum stick with his left hand; Ulonna Nwafor slapped his palm immediately.

"Ouch"

"You are a child of God. Use your right hand"

"Big Mommy lets me use any hand I want" Chibuzo sulked

"As long as it's clean" Chiamaka added

"Well what do you expect from a Yoruba woman" her father sneered

"Dirty people. No table manners" Ulonna stared at Amaka. Amaka returned the glare chewing. It was customary for Femi's parents to receive insults as well.

At the parking lot, her parents' placed their palms on the twins' forehead to pray for them before turning to Amaka with a resigned sigh. They were returning to Anambra next week after a visit at her older sister's house in Lekki, Lagos. Ada was the golden goose: a lawyer, married to an Igbo man, with two sons and the most uptight stuffy person Amaka knew. The day she found herself that unhappy with her life, Amaka made a promise to seek mental help.

Unfortunately Ada was raising her children just as their mom raised them; so Amaka assumed the children were unhappy as well. Constant monitoring is not a life. It is prison. Parents turned back to their hotel and Amaka wondered how Ada could know her husband Obinna was a homosexual and still stay married to him. Living in denial and pretending everything was okay must surely be killing her. Surely her sanity was more important than remaining the favourite offspring. For Ada appearances seemed to matter more than happiness and her parents in conjunction continued to ignore the cracks beneath the veneer. Amaka drove the kids to get some ice-cream and celebrate surviving another family lunch.

Evening approached and Amaka was home. She sat with Nabsy in her living room watching Ben 10 with Chibuzo while Chiamaka gave her favourite Aunt a makeover.

"Aunty Sit still" Chiamaka scolded as she parted thick hair to oil it. "Don't you want it to be fine?"

"Of course I do"

"Then keep your head like this" Chiamaka bent her neck at a painful angle and Amaka laughed

"If you were not the best hair dresser in Abuja, I wouldn't waste my time coming here" Nabila rubbed her sore neck. Chiamaka blushed and resumed oiling with vigour

"Mommy is it true?"

"Absolutely"

"So I can be a hairdresser? Because grandma said I should be a doctor"

"You can be whatever you want to be. A hairdresser, a florist even a power puff girl"

"Mommy I can't be a power puff girl. I need chemical X for that"

"Duh" Nabila agreed shaking her head at Amaka. They shared a smile

With the twins asleep after a game of monopoly Nabsy and Amaka got down to grownup talk. Once again, Nabila was trying to play match maker and hook her up. This time with one of Jamal's business associates.

"Don't you ever give up?" Amaka spooned ice cream into her mouth. She would blame the missing vanilla tub on Nabila should the twins ask for it.

"I want you to be happy"

"I am."

"Okay I want you to get laid"

Amaka laughed and took the business card although she knew that no matter how perfect this Ikenna Nwosu turned out to be she would come home waiting for her phone to ring and Femi to say he was returning home to his family. He left to 'hammer' and promised he would return soon. That was four years ago but every day Amaka waited for news from New York. Waited for Femi to tell her he was coming home to her and his kids.

The minute Femi was out of the picture her parents forced Chukwuma on her. The only Catholic more fanatic than that man was the pope himself. Spoke down to Amaka like he had a VIP pass into heaven. He was not for her; she tried to explain to her parents but it was difficult to take a stand whilst she lived under their roof and they raised her children. One day she could take no more, she packed up belongings and drove away. Got on the plane and begged Nabsy to meet her at the airport when she landed in Abuja. Right now, mentioning the fact she still loved Femi would only start Nabsy on a fit of insults and a 'forget about that (insert expletive)' lecture.

So she glanced over the card without registering the details and promised to answer when Mr. Nwosu called. Nabila made her save the number on her phone and insisted they practice her sexy voice. Amaka obliged her

"Jamal and I are thinking of starting a family"

"Oh my God that's wonderful Nabsy" Amaka jumped to hug her.

"You better put us on that list"

"As soon as you pee on the stick you will be placed at number one" Amaka kissed her cheek. She loved Nabsy and Jay very much and after all they had done to help her she wanted their happiness more than anything.She moved out of her parents' home when the twins were just two years old and Jay helped her find an apartment within her means. Luckily for Amaka her father had set up a savings account in her name from the day she was born. She cleared it, placed a deposit on her two bedroom flat and loved it into a home. The walls were lined with pictures and artwork, a framed studio shot of her and her babies with smiles as bright as the sun.

The candy paint changed hues in each room, they were dirty dishes from dinner in her sink, Nabila's Usher CD was loud, and the twins were in pyjamas sleeping on the carpet. The Pocahontas DVD in pause on the TV, Ginseng hair cream and cutting comb still on the coffee table and not one religious memorabilia in sight. In short, it was the stark opposite of her childhood home in Anambra. She loved the disorganised mess that came with children and smiled whenever she came across a crayon be it in their toy box or behind the sofa. That was the life of kids; nothing was sacred. So the sofa was for jumping on, the carpet a spare bed and walls sometimes made better drawing boards. She scolded but was careful not to tame their spirits. She would not beat creativity and wit into submission. Amaka was determined their lives would be unrestricted and fun and free. They were 6 year olds and they would act like 6 year olds.

Before Nabila left she helped carry Chibuzo to his bed tucking him in. "This will be you soon" Amaka whispered as Nabsy kissed his forehead goodnight.