Am I Cheating? (1)

Things with Senior Rizal seemed to get worse every day. He kept disappearing and no news from him at all. Then, on the next day, he would appear and hug me. I mean, yes, I felt guilty because of all the things happened between me and Tom. But, I couldn't help but to feel annoyed at Senior Rizal's strange action.

But again, I asked myself, 'am I cheating? Does having a relationship with a ghost consider cheating?'

I still liked Senior Rizal, but ...

I didn't even know what was going on.

"Jane..." A whisper in my left ear startled me from my daydreaming.

As I turned my head, a pair of sturdy arms enveloped me in a warm embrace. The familiar scent of his body assaulted my nose as my body gradually relaxed in his embrace.

"Senior. Are you done with your class?" I asked as I tilted my head to look at his side profile.

"Jane. You know how much I love you, right?" Surprisingly, he didn't answer my question this time and said this thing where I knew for sure he was not this type of person. Not when we were practically in public place. We rarely showed our affection to each other in front of other people.

I frowned hearing his question. This was probably a touching question or a proof of his love to me, but only if we were not in odd situation like he kept playing hide and seek with me. In this kind of situation, I could feel something was off from him. It was like he was feeling guilty and he might leave me sooner or later.

It was true that while I was feeling confused with my relationship with him and my own relationship with Tom, it had never crossed my mind that we would break up. Tom was a ghost. We could never be together. And Senior Rizal was a human, in flesh and bones. As a normal human, it would not be hard who I should pick, right?

"What's wrong?" I turned myself to face him, pulling myself out from his embrace.

Senior Rizal smiled bitterly as his hand reached out to touch my cheek. His thumb rubbed my cheek lovingly as his eyes showed his affection to me. This kind of direct touch, warmth, and sense of security were different from what I experienced with Tom.

"I love you. You should know that." He whispered.

My eyebrows arched. "I know." I said. But to say I loved him back, somehow the words couldn't come out.

Senior Rizal pulled his hand from my cheek and grabbed a hold onto my own two hands as he sat in front of me, loking straight into my eyes. "Tell me, Jane, do you like anybody other than me now?" He asked suddenly.

If I were drinking, I would have spurted out the liquid in my mouth onto his face listening to his question. I almost choked on my own saliva! What? Did he suspect something?

"Wh-why are you asking me that?" I stuttered, my eyes widened in shock.

His eyes showed that he was serious with his question but also there was a trace of sadness. Was he seriously asking me this question?

"Nothing." He said as he shook his head. He lowered his head until I couldn't see his eyes.

"Let's have a date today. You don't have any class after this, right?" He said suddenly. His voice turned cheery and bright, totally different with the previous him who looked gloomy and sad.

I shook my head. "No."

"Great. Now, let's go!" He stood up and pulled me up to my feet before he dragged me towards the parking lot.

That afternoon, we played a lot. We kissed, too, and went a bit overboard. Senior Rizal acted like he didn't care if someone recognized him in public, displaying his affection towards me. I, on the other side, felt extremely guilty because sometimes my mind was wandering to my room, where my other boyfriend was waiting for me, probably sulking because I came late again.

Was it considered as I cheated on him?