OnyxOwl

Overall the story seems to be good and it is easy to follow, but I have two questions. Why are last names always included? Why is Luna sometimes called Cynthia? When I first started seeing the name Cynthia I thought it was someone else and read over it a few times and it definitely seemed to be Luna. All of chapter 21 seems to call her Cynthia.

Just some criticism as a female reader. What women are into is more nuanced. I am personally straight but tend to perfer watching the women in videos. its more of a mental thing in my opinion. its just very obvious in some lines that you are a male writer. Aside from that I don't dislike the story the grammar and punctuation is not bad. The female characters are not blow up sex dolls without personality which is one of the most common issues with harem stories. Overall I see potential so I will keep reading for now.