Jakcie_mans

I thought at first its gonan be the generic, heroine reads mc mind and they chose bla bla stuff. Author does a good job at changing the generics into something more new and unique. I enjoyed reading it soo far!

OMG i was searching for gold, then i actually found diamonds holy sh**T. This is sooo good. I really love this soo much 10 out of 10,

I remember i started noticing the forced dialouges when he entered the academy. Around chapter 6-7. The dialogue feels too explanatory, like characters are speaking for the reader instead of naturally reacting to each other. A lot of lines sound overly formal, especially during the orientation and Leon’s speech, which makes conversations lose personality. Asher’s responses are consistent with his calm character, but nearly everyone talks with the same polished tone, so interactions lack contrast and emotional texture. You can improve this by shortening lines, adding interruptionsr or maybe reactions, and letting subtext carry information instead of having characters directly state everything.

Its a very good novel, good power system, and enjoyable world design. Sadly i wish the dialogues felt more natural. It feels forced sometime, but it's not that bad nor good. I enjoyed it so far and look forward to future improvments and updates. 4.6/5

My boy has a right to be afraid of females, cuz wtf. He a minor T_T

See this! I just gifted the story: Ice cola

WHY THE CLIFFHANGER

now*

ty for the chap author. I love it! <3. This has noe become my fav novel after ss.

See this! I just gifted the story: Ice cola