Sayl

Uuuhm I don't suppose your looking for a proper editor still? I read the first few chapters and it's almost impossible to get through, I'd offer my services. I'm not the fastest editor but I am a good one. Although I would require some payment, maybe like 5$ per 1500 words? I'm not sure about the price, but we can discuss that. But if you like the idea add me on discord. Sayl #3198

Why's that surprising if it is his brother's duaghter I'm surprised she's older than 6.

I got that reference.

Gotta disagree with your reasoning on this one chief, love the story by the by. But it's a bit farfetched, comparing someone who works himself to the bone getting out of playing time because of outside interference and a couple of lazy dudes who don't wanna put in the work. Personally I'd rework that bit.

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Sitting shotgun is the expression for when people sit next to the driver.

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With a name like Phoenix Phire if he doesn't I'll be kinda upset xD

Pro-bono work probably wouldn't a word used in another world.