Hey there! I think that this story has potential to be very good. The personalities of the characters are strong, and you can understand the type of people they are. However, I felt that this was a little difficult to follow. I had a similar problem before. After an experienced writer pointed it out to me, I started planning and fleshing out my scenes more. I think it would be good if you plan the scene first, so that you can decide what exactly to put in there. It would be good if you revised the chapter. Great work so far! Cheers!
Teniola_Akinyemi
Disukai oleh 1 orang
SUKA