I personally find the detailing a bit too heavy, but love the storyline. the characters are well defined, and sequences well spaced. would love to see more chapters. Good work.
Luna_Frost_20
Disukai oleh 1 orang
SUKAYou could try breaking down the paragraphs. Too many lines visually seem a lot for a reader. Also, there are a lot of different situations taking place in one chapter. Try separating the different segments with a line or something. For the reader it will become clearer, otherwise I was a bit confused when I read from one segment to another and suddenly couldn't connect. But really good start.
Luna_Frost_20:Hii thank you so much for your review, can you please tell me how can I improve the detailing? I am glad that you found the time to review my book. I would appreciate your feedback. Thank you so much
DaoistNotAvilable:You could try breaking down the paragraphs. Too many lines visually seem a lot for a reader. Also, there are a lot of different situations taking place in one chapter. Try separating the different segments with a line or something. For the reader it will become clearer, otherwise I was a bit confused when I read from one segment to another and suddenly couldn't connect. But really good start.