The story develops too fast for my liking, as it'd be cool to know more about the world itself, the history behind those three families, and the many different creatures residing there. The thing bothering me is the lack of period in some sentences. Then, it has too many commas when you can use period instead. Moreover... how do I say it... (kenapa awal paragrafnya kadang masuk, kadang rata sih? ngganjel2 gimana gitu) Overall, it seems promising, I wouldn't mind waiting for more chapters to read. Keep up the good work~ :D
SenorSleep
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