Character desciption is really detailed. Weird paragraph structure tho (dunno if it's the device I'm using), also uses way too many commas, doesn't capitalise the first letter of charater speech (you do that even if you used a comma before, but also depends on the context). Some grammar mistakes, but the world does seem pretty interesting. Kinda weird names tho, Jinjuso's name sticks out when he meets the dude with the Italian name (or maybe latin idk).
DerangedDragon
Disukai oleh 1 orang
SUKA