Eeeeh, I'll be honest, the grammatical errors and broken English make it hard for me to read through. I've only got as far as the first chapter, but I think that if the author was to work on their technical writing ability it could be a lot better. Would love to see what it could be if it was reworked or if the author had a more literate editor to aid them.
Mist_Vinona
Liked it!
SUKA