I like the premise of the story, it's interesting, and while it's about death and killing it has sort of a chill anime vibe to it. I can easily visualize what's going on because the descriptions are good, but I feel like sometimes they are hard to read, at some points a higher level of vocabulary is used to the extent that it defeats it's purpose, for example when you said "unclosed his eyes", you could've said opened his eyes and it would've meant the same thing, but been easier to maintain the flow of the story. Another thing, that I've been working on myself, is making the dialogue seem more natural, I know it's hard but it'll make the story more engaging Other than that, good stuff man, keep up with the updates and good luck on your writing journey!
Seishi_
Disukai oleh 2 orang
SUKAI see 😂 lol, as long as it's not in the same paragraph or a few paragraphs apart it shouldn't be a problem I think
Seishi_:I have a habit of not using the same words that I had written in a chapter. If I use the word "throw", I'll find other words with the same meaning like "hurled". I'm trying to not have word repetition. Sorry about that😂.