Review Detail of Proteety_Promi in Future World Orders

After reading the first few chapters, I can tell the story has potential. But you tend to make the lines too long. Okay, it's not a problem when the sentence is free from grammatical mistakes. But when the line is long and there are grammatical errors, it makes the sense of the line hard to understand. So, it would be great if you proofread the story. However, good work overall!