I like the base concept, but the author has poor plot asset management and has chosen a particularly long world to begin in. The story is fairly decent, but is not always very clearly written so it leads to misunderstandings (only happens occasionally). Overall, it is not a bad book. It just needs a little more of a sense control because I sometimes get the feeling the author got carried away and forgot his original purpose for writing this story.
D_Ghoul
Disukai oleh 1 orang
SUKAYeah, that makes sense. So, should I cease to show flashbacks? I'm not planning anymore for now, but I'd like to know what you think.
Daoist_of_Culture:The one I can come up with off the top is that chapter you did a flashback to Quentin’s first life. It was a nice thing to know, but it didnt really have mich to do with the flow of the story overall and it just felt like it came out of nowhere. It was a nice idea, but I feel that if you wanted to implement flashbacks like these, you should either have done it earlier or not at all. Still a good idea though.
Well in my opinion, I was a bit confused why Quentin had those anger management issues. They seemingly came out of no where, and the explanation of his mental age regressing to fit his body only half explained. Also, the story’s details are really nice; the attention to detail is something I appreciate, but that’s also where the feeling of control kind of falls off. Sometimes too much detail leads a little bit too far down a bunny trail. This is my honest take. That being said, your book is still very fantastic.
D_Ghoul:Any advice on how to implement a sense of control, and what kind of vocabulary should I be using to make my book more understandable? I'm open to advice. Also, thanks for pointing out some of the mistakes you found, it helps :)
The one I can come up with off the top is that chapter you did a flashback to Quentin’s first life. It was a nice thing to know, but it didnt really have mich to do with the flow of the story overall and it just felt like it came out of nowhere. It was a nice idea, but I feel that if you wanted to implement flashbacks like these, you should either have done it earlier or not at all. Still a good idea though.
D_Ghoul:Thanks, I'm happy that you enjoy what I write! But, can you give me an example of when I go on a tangent on the details? I'd like to correct myself on that. And, thanks again for telling me where my plot is half-baked.
Yeah I think so. Don’t get me wrong; the flashbacks are a good idea, they were just implemented a little to far back in the story to be very effective.
D_Ghoul:Yeah, that makes sense. So, should I cease to show flashbacks? I'm not planning anymore for now, but I'd like to know what you think.
Daoist_of_Culture:Yeah I think so. Don’t get me wrong; the flashbacks are a good idea, they were just implemented a little to far back in the story to be very effective.