membaca
483
Membaca buku-buku
so far this is the best hp fanfic I have read fantastic writing
alright now this is good writing you have improved tremendously I would love to read more of this
ignore the negative comments and write how you want to write this is a good book if people do not like it they can go read other things instead of crying like children
My nemesis the cliffhanger
ok starting here it is over dramatized feels forced and fake almost like a badly written Japanese school life manga if it was read badly read by horrid actors the story has great premise but the interactions leave a lot to be desired
let me go back and i will find and highlight what i meant
you are writing it like a movie with bad actors and no real weight its a novel you have to add substance to the conversations depth to the characters build the world and give a plot this reads like a script of not even b tier actors being read while the background moves around a bit
i feel my iq drop trying to read this
either superboy prime or dr fate raven is a good third
great chapter