panpan_wuv

This is an interesting romance fantasy. It has an intriguing plot. While the summary sounds like it's dark, it also features humor so it's worth a read if you're looking for a fun read.

I like the use of the Spanish language here. I wished the same was done for the Cantonese dialogue in the previous chapter. I suggest stating what it means so that readers will at least understand what the character was saying, even if Gyun wasn't supposed to. As for your question about the length, I think the ideal for web novels is 1-1.5k words. I found it a bit of a challenge when I started, but it helps filter out unnecessary scenes, highlight important details, and better control a story's pacing.

I like the action scenes here. Gyun reminds me of a cold, vengeful lead character in an action movie.

I appreciate the detailed descriptions here. It makes it easy to visualize what's happening. The dialogue are pretty good too. It compliments the tense atmosphere in this chapter. There's a lot of complex sentences composed of several dangling participles, and they don't often sound like complete sentences. They also sometimes make the sequence of events confusing. For example: "Resealing the box, he stepped to the dresser, grabbing a...jacket" Is he resealing the box while stepping into a dresser at the same time he's picking up a jacket? Or did one of those actions happen first, followed by another? Using simpler sentences can iron this out. That will also help avoid the overuse of commas.

Should "move loud" be "move out"?

I had a feeling this would happen. Unfortunately for Mae, her sheltered upbringing made her less wary of things like this. She was more concerned about keeping her pride and dignity - which being called "Misfortune Mae" stripped her of - so she left for a place where she naïvely thought things would be easier for her.

I love how realistic Mae's character behaves here. She's still in shock, but she needs to adapt to her new situation so she does what she thinks she has to do to survive. Her emotions are still weighing heavily on her, and the fact that she doesn't have the skills to properly adapt to her situation makes her feel worse. She doesn't know what she's doing because she is yet to properly process the things that happened to her.

Wow, either the father was naïve like Mae or he has so much confidence in their family's privilege that he thought saying his daughter unwittingly stole the urn would get them out of trouble. Poor Mae either way.

Ooh...that escalated quick! Why do I feel like the charming man Mae fancied had a hand in it?

I love the creative approach in delivering the descriptions in this narrative. Are the underscores marking a character's internal monologue?