Deadshot269

I am sure this guy was weirded out for a second

should've thrown that coffee at him

disbelief should be running through Ayana's head right now

a small correction: 'a staff' instead of 'an staff'

So the Characters are fleshed out. That is the first thing, aside from that I have always been intrigued by the idea of making potions and how do they work. There is however a couple of changes I would recommend. The first is to cut down big paragraphs which makes it harder to read. The second is to not use pronouns excessively. Apart from that, I don't see many issues with this. Great writing!

It is good. I just think that if you give a character two options one of them being clearly looking better than the other, I don't think they would choose a demi demon over a demon. You might want to show their thought process behind it

Done. Just divided the chapters in half or smaller, to match the word count

Done. Split them into smaller ones. Each one of them

The plot is good but the SPAG is not...but the plot is good. Nice job author...just a small advise to use Grammarly in the future...it will make it much better

Okay, so your writing style is good. I like the world-building as well, and honestly, there isn't much I have to suggest. Keep up the good work. I like your side characters more is what I have to say