webnovel
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FloShizu

FloShizu

Lv14
2022-03-15 BergabungGermany
336.9h

membaca

180

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8
Momen
12
  • FloShizu
    FloShizua year ago
    Balas webnovel433

    Almost none of them are on this site. Only ones I remember liking here are: Redo: Grimoire System in the Apocalypse and Aether Beast, first was great and second alright. If you are interested in other sites, kindle or traditionally published books I got some more.

  • FloShizu
    FloShizu2 years ago
    Berkomentar

    Possible character development gone in an instant

  • FloShizu
    FloShizu2 years ago
    Diterbitkan

    Since my last 3 star review, where i actually took my time to explain why the book isnt that great, got removed here take a 1 star. But why am i even surprised anymore, seeing a book like this almost getting 5 stars average, there had to be somthing wrong. Now i know at least.

  • FloShizu
    FloShizu2 years ago
    Diterbitkan

    After reading the synopsis, I actually had hopes to find another rare case for a good harem story, but after reading the free chapters I was, as so often, left disappointed. (Warning: This review contains spoilers (but the spoiler functionality destroyes all formating)) Writing Quality I don’t know if the author is a native English speaker, but I don’t think so since it reads MTL. The language level is low and simple, but it doesn’t really have big issues like some of the translated books have. For this site I would consider it average and not yet a reason to actually drop the book. My problem is with the actual writing. It has a lot of wasted potential. To quote the author: “You might either call it trash or a masterpiece. It depends on how far you read.” “The story improves after 50 chapters.” That is a terrible, terrible take on how to write a story. I don’t have stats for this book in particular, but I don’t think that yours is a rare exception to the rule. And the rule is that most people decide if they like or dislike something in the very early stages of it. It doesn’t matter if it’s the first episode of a TV-show, the first 2 hours of a video game or, in your case, the first chapters of a book. This is the timespan where you need to attract the attention of the reader. Saying it gets better further on, you just need to endure through the bad start, will lose you a vast number of potential readers. That’s just human nature. In your case, it's even amplified by the fact that it gets monetized after that in a very user-unfriendly monetization model. I, for example, after only reading the first chapter, already felt unsure if I should spend my time continuing your story or just go on to the next. I just don’t understand why authors feel the need to explain the world and story in the first handful of chapters. Let the reader figure it out for themselves as the story progresses, sprinkle in the information instead of using in your words the first 50 chapters as “explanation of the world and various elements through Rios inquiries”. Take for example the speech of the director in the first chapter. Why is he explaining that after the invasion the scientists made a breakthrough in technology to allow the use of portals. MC is 16 and lives in this world so he knows what a portal is, so it’s clear that was only meant as an info dump for the reader and that makes the speech very unnatural and the same goes for many more instances in the first 50 chapters. For your next book don’t try to force information onto the reader, sprinkle it in and let the user connect the dots. I can just give you the advice, before you start your next book, take your time to find out what makes a good book and how to write a better story. There is a lot of material on how to write better stories. If you don’t want to spent money on expensive books, go to YouTube and just search for “Brandon Sanderson writing advice” he has a lot of good and short stuff that would help you in the long run. Stability of Updates Not much to say here, I think its 2 chapters a day and I believe this is the usual number specified in the contracts on this side. For me 2 chapters today is an unhuman amount that promotes quantity over quality but since it’s the accepted standard on this site nothing I say would change that practice. Story Development I can only say it again, after reading the synopsis I had hopes for this but it failed to live up to those expectations. The idea of teleporting to another world to get stronger is nothing new but I like the idea. But for me the story has a lot of wasted potential and the free phase is just stupid. The story starts with the MC joining the mandatory Military academy, nothing wrong here, but what follows isn’t the usual academy arc were the students get trained to become soldiers to then get teleported to the alien world to fight. Instead all students get teleported without training pr preparation.. It says that 11 students went missing probably killed in action. Best way to start a new school year and train the future of the human race is to randomly teleport and kill their students, if they survive or not is based on their luck. Anyway, so MC gets teleported to alien planet and first thing he does is marry the future queen of the enemy race (and of course she is the most beautiful woman he has ever seen) and without a second thought decides to betray his own race while all the time whining that he has no one left on earth anyway. For me this is just so much wasted potential in the story and the romance aspect of the book. Why not make an academy arc first were he and the other students train to fight in an endless war on another planet, but having no obvious talent he is disregarded by everyone and we the reader come to know the hatred others display and the loneliness he feels. Give him a reason why he without a second thought betrays his own race otherwise it won’t make any sense for the reader and won’t be able to connect to the MC. Then to end the first part of your story he and his class are to take part in a controlled exercise in enemy territory were he fights with the enemy princess and it’s a enemy-to-lover type of situation or if you want to stick to your version, something goes wrong with his teleportation capsule and he is thrown alone into an alien world were he needs to survive and meets the enemy princess and they slowly fall in love instead of the instantaneous 0 romance, love at first sight situation. Again, so much potential without changing the initial idea for the story. Character Design Again, not much to say here. I don’t know if it’s the simple language level that is to blame here, but the dialogs are boring, the characters feel bland and the MC and his girls feel all like walking one-dimensional clichés. My biggest problem by far is the MC himself, it just feels so hard to actually connect to him for different reasons, some of them I already mentioned, like the betrayal of his race without worries, his reasonless self-pity to be alone in the world but the moment he comes back he has a stepmother doting in him. World Background Humans teleporting to an alien planet to gain strength, nothing new but a lot you can do with this idea. In the “free-trial” of the books not a lot is shown that actually arouses interest in the world and the thing with the ai watch were humans get teleported back automatically if they are in danger of death and don’t die to fast just takes away some of the potential tension and makes the alien planet thing feel more like a virtual world were stats transfer back to reality instead of a hostile alien world. To answer the author’s quote. Is it a masterpiece? No, far from it. Is it trash? No, even if it had many problems in the implementation, it got some nice ideas going on and mabye the author builds upon those ideas later on. I will probably never know. Maysbe if i ever have a drought of books to read, i will come back to see were the author took it but with the user-unfriendly monetization model on this site i dont think so.

  • FloShizu
    FloShizu2 years ago
    Balas ChaoticHappiness

    Not all, but like 99%. Found a handful that i enyojed.

  • FloShizu
    FloShizu2 years ago
    Diterbitkan

    This book is praised a lot, but for me It feels mediocre at best. And just when it comes to the interesting part, when he is back in his own world, the author dropped (at least no chapter in over a month) the story since it isn’t as profitable as his other stories. And since the interesting part will never get finished, combined with the mediocrity of the story in general, I can’t really recommend the book.

  • FloShizu
    FloShizu2 years ago
    Diterbitkan

    This is for you author, since one can have a good discussion with you without getting heated up even if one attacks your book, so i decided to make a more in depth review and while many points still stand I removed the points where I out of my own preferences was a little unfair. Writing Quality: 3/5 It's MTL, so don't expect anything amazing. Especially in the earlier chapters, there are many issues like wrong pronouns, wrong sentence structures or swapped roles in a sentence and so on. But I have seen a lot worse and it is enjoyable if you like the story itself. I think just by going through the older chapters and looking at the comments where a helpful reader already wrote the correct version and then correct it, would make it a 4/5 for new readers. Stability of Updates: 4/5 Not much to say. Coming from royalroad 14 chapters a week is inconceivable and impressive. I always imagine that the quality suffers, so I don't like this way very much and would like to see quality over quantity like on royalroad. But I know that people on this site probably see it differently. Story Development: 3/5 The problem I have with the story is that I like to see the way the MC has to go in order to become strong or even the strongest, but instead it was only said that he had a training arc with the goddesses, but it was skipped and instead he slowly unlocks the abilities he learned from them through the system. So the reader just sees a list of (yet locked/lvl 0) active and passive skills the MC gets at the beginning of the story and that makes them seem less special and deserved (even if they are). Another thing I dislike is that the story skips around too much, so there is not enough time for proper kingdom/world building, character development, forming of relationships and so on. This makes everything seem less deep and lack substance. But I think the plot itself has potential. It just needs refining. Character Design 3/5 Like I said, everything lacks substance and so do the characters and the relationship they have with the MC. I have only seen the first three wives and I can already tell that they are very cliche and the others sound to be the same. The same goes for the MC, since he is just like MC in most novels. Person with sad past gets reincarnated and becomes powerful, so he can now beat up the bad guys. And this brings up another point of criticism. Sad pasts. It has become the standard in newer novels and I don't like to see it in every book, especially if every important character gets one. MC has one and both wives he met up until now have one as well, so I would prefer if its not the same for the other wives as well. But I like that he can be ruthless if he has a reason. World Background 3/5 The quality and the amount we get is comparable to other web novels on this site and I feel like, as always, it is lacking and I would love to see more detailed worlds like in normal fantasy books, but that's just my preference and maybe people like to read more simple books on this site. I think the best thing the author can do for this book and the next is to slow down with releases, instead of two a day, maybe just write one and instead read proof, take your time to write and rewrite until you got some good quality chapters, instead of just throwing out chapters for the sake of it. Maybe check out different translators and grammar checks and go with the best you can find. I think you can do a lot better if you just take your time and you end up with a shorter/slower released but nice quality book. Instead of being a good author, try to be a very good one. I think you can do it.

  • FloShizu
    FloShizu2 years ago
    Balas Mohitkumar

    Yes, I said that people have different standards and that, in my opinion, this counts as op. But there will be many people who disagree with me and maybe people who agree. People are different and so are their tastes. And it's also my preference to see the way the MC has to go in order to become strong or even the strongest, but again, it's just my opinion and others will like it the way it is. And about the language, why not just go through the old chapters and correct them? Almost all of them got a comment where a helpful reader wrote the correct version. And for new chapters, why not just copy in to an online grammar check? For me, as a non-native English speaker, it often helps to find obvious mistakes I made. If I came across as rude in any way, I apologize. Have a nice day and I hope you will find people that like it and, with their preferences, can rate it differently.

  • FloShizu
    FloShizu2 years ago
    Balas Mohitkumar

    The question is did you read my review before answering? Because I clearly said: "And the training arc where he was supposed to learn the skills that he can now unlock with his system was skipped." What is true, since it was skipped and the reader only sees: He got trained by the goddesses, then a skip and a moment later a wall of skills. And about skills, the system even says: Active Skills (than comes a list of skills) and passive Skills (another list of skills). And already the first skill "Eyes of Truth" where he can see the potential of people, so he can then recruit them, is in my eyes op and that he can fight people way above his own level easily what is (in my eyes) also op. But maybe we just have different standards about what is op and what no, and thats ok, but before you accuse me of writing false reviews read it clearly next time.

  • FloShizu
    FloShizu3 years ago
    Diterbitkan

    Just another bad harem story. Stupid MC. Stupid System. Stupid movie like action scenes that make absolutely no sense. Copy and Paste Zombie Apokalypse. Terrible Harem build up. First Is his childhood friend but neither he or her confessed to each other. Since it’s maybe not the right time ok. Only chapters later he thinks of adding two more girls to his harem system and fill up the last two spots. He never even talked to them before and thinks that banging and adding them now would hurt the feelings of his childhoodfriend who really is in love with him. So in name of science he adds them anyway. Huh? And writing is at best only okayish.