JojoVanish

What about its relationship with the other kingdoms? It could have been solved in a better way. Shorter and more direct. What about the world government and the navy? It took too long.

I really expected something more interesting to read, too many opportunities to take a path for history were missed. Without ignoring the weft holes Your system is based on a creation of a kingdom, why make it so long and boring? It doesn't look like a kingdom, it just looks like a city. You were able to summarize all the chapters of house building and the rest in 2 or 5 chapters at most, or just make it small mentions. Even the story would have been better if it wasn't a one-piece fanfic, it doesn't contrast with what the story is and there's little interaction with the characters. Maybe do something better like 10 chapters about the development of the kingdom and that is exaggerating and the rest to develop the other characters. What good is that fog around? It's no use. It could have been discarded 10 chapters ago or even before that.

Boring. Not only that but the development is too slow even though there was a massive update. The chapter climb became irregular. Ideas about how the story will unfold are poorly raised, little character development (Mc). Most of all it seems like that story of complacency that ends badly. Maybe you feel that with a somewhat large number of chapters it was good, but it was only About Mc invoking characters who contribute nothing besides Hashirama (who seems more than anything the protagonist's bitch who does not stop licking his butt in search of approval) And even that certain romance they show is mediocre. History has no feet or head on which to stand when it comes to development. Maybe in another comment he says what he personally expected.

When I started reading it I thought of a rapid breakthrough, and even that his country was something spectacular. You know, a great kingdom and even with eye-catching things. Perhaps a map of progress in which it shows the arrival of the protagonists to the island. The quality drops a lot, you can't rely on a story that goes up chapters too fast. And with an author who can't make clear decisions it makes it worse.

I thought I had dropped it.

When you mentioned Hypnotic dance I thought of Squidward.