ViolentGardener

- A Good Idea. Porly Executed - I'll start off with the good parts. The idea for Ben in Marvel is interesting. The application of his various forms is well done. This fic takes the rare route of Ben being active before all the heroes take center stage rather than after, like the vast majority of fics out there, and it's nice to see. The ascetic of Ben going from eating chili fries on the couch to saving a country in the next moment feels natural and human. ..... And unfortunately, that's about it. The story suffers from endless regurgitation. A chapter can be composed of the same description copy pasted with minor changes five times over with names swapped out and words shuffled around giving a lazy "I'm just trying to up the word count" vibe. The obsession with Ben's public image is present in every other paragraph past a certain point and inconsistent as it gets. Every time he makes an appearance, everyone reacts like it's the first time, Filling the chapter with the same slightly altered reactions copy pasted to every major Marvel figure. He went from saving an entire country, with the narration saying, "The world at large had seen him now" to him being entirely unknown before stopping 911 a chapter or two later. Ben's personal views are also inconsistent with him wanting to show off and be seen but then acting as if it's all beneath him the next moment. But all of those pales to the worst part of the story. School and business. The subjects consume around 80% of the story after they are introduced and are as uninteresting as they get. Long winded, uninspired, cookie-cutter descriptions of random people with no significance. It would be one thing if these aspects of the story added anything beyond the obvious, but they don't. You can safely skip past everything regarding school and business at no cost to the narrative with this description, "Ben is a genius techwiz engineer who will impress everyone and end up on Marvel's big business's radar. He makes a lot of money and stands out at school." That's it. ...... Ultimately, it's a great idea for a fic with some novel ideas that's drowned in filler garbage.

he gets a little from interacting with regular people, too. Just added up over the years

*shall will you

the become fundamentaly ageless at sequence 2 same goes for most biological functions like sleep, eating and even internal organs. Klein got stabbed through the heart and sat for like an hour, making casual conversation with Adam at sequence 2.

Calling it right now, this is gonna lose Takuma his promotion. We all know the torture fetish the authors got for him at this point.