Israel_Silva_2654

This reads like you have no idea of what you're doing, so your character has no idea of what he is doing, ignoring the whole thing about his parents being ninjas and somehow managing time while on missions to run not one, but two separated successful businesses, now if it was just a single one, something small, yeah, I could see that working, but ninja work doesn't leave much spare time. Couldn't read past second chapter, it just breaks immersion for me

Yeah, but any demon would be fucked with a piece of nichirin metal lodged inside his skill, a well placed arrow through the eye socket or ear should do the trick. Or maybe the same arrow tip goes into the spine, and suddenly the demon can't control his body, the corrosion from the nichirin metal messing with his nervous system. Might not kill like a blade, not I wouldn't call it useless.

That gave me a good laugh, thanks!

And 3~4 chapters of info dump is completely unreasonable to ask someone to read. I don't need to understand things upfront, just tell me a good story.

The first few lines of text were nice, things happening, we are seeing it. But then you started to make a point of some kind that I honestly have no idea what it was, then kept on going, and going, and going, changed words and kept going, and going, and going... Than started the second chapter on some kind of info dump that again, just kept going as far I as could bother to look. Your grammar looks good, but it is so much text just for nothing to happen, besides a character badmouthing other characters for some reason, it gets to the point where I question if that is part of his personality or is it more of a you thing. Skip ahead some of the info dump, then there is a scene of people talking about genin team selections, and I could only think: Is this relevant to the story? Couldn't I just see this at a later time when teams where presented? But that besides the point, what I'm trying to say here is that the story is just not interesting, I don't know what it is about really (besides being a naruto fic)

Don't know if you take feedback from this site, but still, I'll give it mine here. I was liking the novel, but this chapter brought the quality down quite a bit, many mistakes both in grammar and some weird pov changes mid sentences that broke the flow of reading and made it more difficult to understand.

Kinda late, 2 years? anyway, I'm gonna leave my opinion anyways. This feels like you have a story to tell, but you are too eager, you're getting in your own way. Don't like when the story starts, you also picked one of the worsts characters in the story (imo) the manga guy, I feel that he is part of a group that won't be missed if you never speak of them. His quirk is really interesting, doesn't sound OP, which is great. Is it really relevant if he knows about his past life? The best isekais I've ever heard forget pretty quick about the past lives and focus on the present, memory is a tricky thing, it can be unreliable. There is a reason that it can't be trusted in court. Also, I just have the whole part on almost every fic about the talk with 'god'... I just find it plain stupid, alongside 'system'.

"Author" said that he translated it. No, you don't translate it, you copy & paste into some app, copy & paste the result here and call it a translation. If you actually took the time to read the result you would know how bad it is.

Thanks for the chapter, also: A team from Ame? Isn't Pain's thing in full swing by this time? Can't remember if there were ame teams in the original.

I feel that there is potential here, but I don't like the way the story is told, or the point in wich you decided to start telling it. Also, the pacing left me reeling with how jumbled everything seems, and you also contradict yourself really quickly.