Disney_Cloud
Not a Native English Speaker but Fluent. Have interest in writing Adventure Themed Short Stories.
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Disney_Cloud3yrBerkomentarElla and Alisha are pretty interesting, I really want to see more of them. But there's one more thing. I am starting to really dislike Helkep, don't really know why. I think you should add a little bit of positivity to him. He's quite rude and arrogant and really overconfident to me, unless you want him to be. But I would prefer someone with a hint of positivity to play the Mc.
Ch 28 Emergency- Disney_Cloud3yrBerkomentarCh 28 Emergency
- Disney_Cloud3yrBalas Nikola_Niko
I'm currently going out of city, so won't be uploading. By the way, school starts at April 11 right?
Paragraf ini telah dihapus. - Disney_Cloud3yrBerkomentarCh 26 Impossible Before Level 10
- Disney_Cloud3yrBerkomentar
I think you shouldn't put laughing 2 times.
As if insanity had finally taken over, he started laughing, laughing his guts out. - Disney_Cloud3yrBerkomentar
*was dry?
He was weeping silently, while hugging himself. His eyes were red from crying and his throat dry. - Disney_Cloud3yrBalas Nikola_Niko
Lol.
Paragraf ini telah dihapus. - Disney_Cloud3yrBalas Nikola_Niko
Actually that's not a typo. I do want 'it' to be there. I think the word 'insane' is not a right fit.
Paragraf ini telah dihapus. - Disney_Cloud3yrBalas Nikola_Niko
Actually no, as it told you before, you have to be familiar with the previous chapter to understand the next chapter. In chapter 2, there is a dedicated paragraph for those scissors.
Paragraf ini telah dihapus. - Disney_Cloud3yrBalas Nikola_Niko
Oooooo! Another typo, thanks.
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This actually wasn't a typo but you are right. This sentence is a bit confusing, I'll change it.
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I don't understand what you mean.
Paragraf ini telah dihapus. - Disney_Cloud3yrBalas Nikola_Niko
By the way, each chapter almost depends upon another. So if you haven't read chapter 1 or 2, you won't understand chapter 3.
"Ughh! Let me tell ya, I went there to get some leaves to decorate my house, do you understand it now pal? Mangrove cleared all of Milo's doubts. - Disney_Cloud3yrBalas
Ummm.. No actually he is talking about the forest, where the story started.
"Ughh! Let me tell ya, I went there to get some leaves to decorate my house, do you understand it now pal? Mangrove cleared all of Milo's doubts. - Disney_Cloud3yrBalas Nikola_Niko
Actually he saying Ooooooh! in frustration, so I don't think Huh! would suit it.
"Ooooooo! I do not live here, I live in the kingdom, not this swamp. I've never been here. Got it?" Mangrove stated that he hadn't seen the swamp before. - Disney_Cloud3yrBalas Nikola_Niko
Thanks for pointing the typos.
But without a lot of other complications, they successfully crossed the mud part. Now, it was time to cross the vines. Milo's heart almost sank as he saw vines. The vines at that swamp were very far-spread and on them, were very sharp points. But were they also Magical? Milo and Mangrove were about to find about. - Disney_Cloud3yrBalas Nikola_Niko
He did warn him in chapter 1 when the forest incident occured.
Paragraf ini telah dihapus. - Disney_Cloud3yrBalas Disney_CloudCh 24 Broken By The World
- Disney_Cloud3yrBerkomentarCh 24 Broken By The World