Just_Scissors
[Discord @ Ryuko#9136]
Tulisan
membaca
289
Membaca buku-buku
There were generally more grammar errors that could hinder the pace of reading and understanding. Author could go back and do some editing, especially the gender pronouns (girl=she, her hers)( boy=he, him, his). The story is nice and the characters are well made. The storyline is unique and has a lot of potential about friends and family.
The information here sounds important but its a little confusing to understand.
Very interesting. I am intrigued in the sibling relationship and the MC's goals. I want to see what kind of plot the author has laid out. Writing Quality: I can see the quality of the writing and that you try very hard to edit. There is still small grammar errors, but overall content was prestine. I do have a pet peave for authors who tell action words, instead of showing the action. (Example: Sigh, *cough cough) Story Development: The pace of the story is perfect for this kind of genre. Character Design: I can see Zuifan's personality vividly. Just wondering if Chunu will have a big role because she seems invisible to me. Perhaps give her more descriptions. World Background: Good world building. So far the book is slowly explaining itself.
Is this the binding spell with the red string around their neck?
This was a very good book with some realistic family relationships. For a second, I felt like I was in Steph's world and in her shoes. That's how good the descriptions were. There were small grammar errors that were barely noticeable, and I would like to mention that the first chapter can have more vivid details. It was a little bland and too casual that it might discourage readers from continuing. The rest of the chapters are better. Overall, I feel like this book have a lot of great potential.
I notice your transitions are a bit too fast. Add more details and transition slower.
Thanks for catching that! It's fixed now.
This paragraph was a bit confusing.
What does Ren mean?
The writing quality is very good. There is little to no errors and the back story has a high potential. Although it was sci-fi, there were small interaction moments where it was realistic, and that's good. I did want to say the pace was way too fast for me. And because of this, I feel like I don't know the characters at all. Even the main character felt strange to me. Maybe slow down the pace a little and add some personality to the characters.