VictoryDNoire
I love reading, writing and gaming.
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How old are these people. They seem to be in high school but they have very adult toys, even for royalty.
. . everything Kir told him.
as they pulled up. . . third to first person.
since they left the academy grounds. Third person to first person swap.
You can put a characters inner dialog in italics and the reader will know they are thoughts.
she corrects.
After they grabbed lunch, they headed to the forest to eat and talk.
. . . before backing out of his reach.
Kir said with a warm smile, following his advice and watching his stance before deciding her own.
. . . hoping she doesn't take his advice as criticism.
Asher walker over to Kir cautiously, knowing her brother is in the room, watching them like a hawk and hoping Asher with give him a reason to make good on his threat.
Kir and Asher began taking up their positions. . .
Third to first person switch