PoPuMa78

............................................................................................................................................

What will happen if you edit this chapter 1. Will it delete the comments for the sections that you edit 2. Will it delete the comments for the chapter itself and all section comments section comments = comments like this that you are reading right now chapter comments = comments that arent tied to any word, sentence or paragraph of the chapter but the chapter itself ------------------------------------------------------------- If you do edit this chapter should i first look out for all the mistakes so that there will be less comments lost and less or no more future edits? How many chapters are you hoing to post weekly and when Maybe i could try to help out with the grammar faster so that there is less damage? Honestly, before i wanst that committed to doing since i didnt know what sort of an answer you would give and it is really tedious to improve the grammar and find alternative words or sentences for some paragraphs (sometimes taking more than 30 minutes) the problem with me is that my motivation comes and goes quickly so i cant really promise about being committed to doing this but i also have never done anything like this and it would be interesting basically me being unofficial editor or something along those lines since i find the idea interesting. (you dont have to take any of this very seriously and if you think editing too much would take the taste of your writing away i would kind of agree) this should have been 2 comments :D

Writing quality isn't the best. (just occasion sentence structuring problems or using wrong words like pulling professors from behind the curtains instead of bringing them) but I think it has its own charm. I really love how the author uses the stereotypes from Japanese Isekai novels in a new way (filling the whole book with them). especially how he levels and takes advantage of the system rules. Also, I hope you add something new for us old readers. to keep us in suspense Writing: 4 Stability of Updates: Don't remember from the old book Story development: Godly Character Design: 5 (turned stereotypes into something new and interesting) World Background: 5 (has you thirsting for more)

instead of "in previous times" you could use "in previous visits" times sounds a bit too general this is just my personal opinion: doenst he get embarrased like who does that carrying a robot outside to show off to kids? its like taking a finished lego set and going to outside to walk around with it and see how other people are reacting? (that wasnt a good example but you should get the point)

did i miss something or why are they cursing mechanical engineering

you can leave out the "right leg" its oddly specific we just need to know that he pinches his leg and that will make it better to read

**Original Text**: "It would've been easier to tolerate this madness if he were like the others, having friends to speak with… But don't misunderstand, Philip was no strange kid, he had many friends." ### **Identified Problems**: 1. The description "strange kid" feels awkward; "loner" might be more appropriate to convey being friendless. ### **Solution**: "It would've been easier to tolerate this madness if he had friends to talk to like the others did. However, Philip wasn't a loner, he had many friends."

Question: Is the intent of this part of the text to convey the character’s frustration, possibly imagining a humorous scenario of professors hiding behind the curtains as a way to cope with the situation? why are there professors behind the curtain Original Text: "'Whatever.' He thought as he scoffed, it was going to end soon, there weren't any more professors left to speak, and unless they pulled more from behind those curtains, this was as good as done." Identified Problem: 1. in the original you use "pulled" which is used more for objects brought would be better in this scenario 2. you should have used "out" after "pulled" to make a more complete sentence 3. you should mention the subjects (professors) with "people" my solution "'Whatever.' He thought as he scoffed, it was going to end soon, there weren't any more professors left to speak, and unless they brought out more people from behind those curtains, this was as good as done." but the problem with this would be: who are "they" the university? 1. "more people" does that mean that they have done it before? 2. why are the people waiting behind the curtain? 3. if the proffessors are waiting behind the curtain to give a lecture 4. you should use something more organized my revised solution: "'Whatever.' He thought as he scoffed, it was going to end soon, there weren't any more professors left to speak, and unless there were more professors waiting to give their word, this was as good as done." CHATGPT( with my revisions): Solution (with minimal changes): "'Whatever.' he thought as he scoffed. It was going to end soon; there weren't any more professors left to speak, and if they didn't bring out more people from behind those curtains, this was as good as done." Solution (Based on describing the professors hiding): Identified Problem: 1. The phrase "unless they pulled more from behind those curtains" makes the professors sound more like objects being retrieved rather than people actively hiding. This may detract from the overall tone the author is aiming for. 2. The use of "and" before "unless" is unnecessary and disrupts the flow of the sentence. Revised Solution: "'Whatever.' he thought as he scoffed. It was going to end soon; there weren't any more professors left to speak, unless, of course, they had a bunch of old men hiding behind those curtains, huddled together, waiting to come out. This was as good as done." (This one was pain in the ass D:) i may be able to make a more accurate correction if you tell me your intention behind this

this one kind of confused me due to the time (more in identified problems): Original Text: "He just had to persevere… But he swore a few minutes ago the clock was pointing elsewhere, why was it still pointing at the same place?" Identified Problem: The phrasing "he swore" could be better expressed as "he could have sworn." The word "elsewhere" does not fit the context if time is perceived as stopped. Your suggestion clarifies that the clock hasn't moved, which better conveys the feeling of time standing still. Solution: "He just had to persevere… But he could have sworn that the clock hasn't moved in the last few minutes. Why was it still pointing at the same place?"

Original Text: "He only came here because it was close by after all. But don't misunderstand, this was one of the best universities in the country for engineering, and he lived nearby so why bother going anywhere else?" Identified Problem: The phrase "after all" disrupts the flow before the next sentence. Solution: "He only came here because it was close by. Don't misunderstand, this was one of the best universities in the country for engineering, and he lived nearby, so why bother going anywhere else?"