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The_Pianist

The_Pianist

Lv1
2020-12-11 BergabungUnited States
-h

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3
  • The_Pianist
    The_Pianist3yr
    Diterbitkan

    I'd say so far that the overall plot is interesting. There are a few spelling mistakes here and there, but I like the characters so far. In terms of dialogue, the characters didn't really sound like you'd assume they'd sound, such as the driver asking about what Beacon's power was. Furthermore, grammar is a bit off, I'd check over the next chapter before publish.

    Manawell
    Fantasi · Aten_Deitine
    detail
  • The_Pianist
    The_Pianist3yr
    Berkomentar

    Tbh I feel like you should set up lore either in a prequel book or just explain it as exposition in this book

    Ch 1 Prolouge
    Manawell
    Fantasi · Aten_Deitine
    detail
  • The_Pianist
    The_Pianist3yr
    Balas rebecca_ringdomsto

    Bot pog?

    Manawell
    Fantasi · Aten_Deitine
    detail