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Allivonk

Allivonk

Lv2

I'm an aspiring author with a dream of being published tbh also hmu if you want to exchange feedback!

2020-09-23 BergabungCanada
-d

Tulisan

5h

membaca

9

Membaca buku-buku

Lencana

4

Momen

17
  • Allivonk
    Allivonk3yr
    Berkomentar

    Im so excited for what will happen next 😱

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  • Allivonk
    Allivonk3yr
    Balas violet_sool

    That's so sweet :'o

    Ch 11 11 - Lilly
    altalt
    Survival of the Fittest
    Sci-fi · Allivonk
    detail
  • Allivonk
    Allivonk3yr
    Diterbitkan

    The dialogue is getting better and better and I love how the story is picking up! I can't wait to read more [img=recommend] My favourite thing will always be the way you describe the setting of the story.

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  • Allivonk
    Allivonk3yr
    Berkomentar

    That description tho :O

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  • Allivonk
    Allivonk3yr
    Balas violet_sool

    Thank you thank you (: Yeah I made it a bit better worded so it's not confusing haha. I appreciate your criticism

    altalt
    Survival of the Fittest
    Sci-fi · Allivonk
    detail
  • Allivonk
    Allivonk3yr
    Berkomentar

    Your descriprion skills have really improved!! The fighting scene betwee Vaos and Vulcan was super entertaining to reas, but i find myself like Vulcan more (; hahah

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  • Allivonk
    Allivonk3yr
    Berkomentar

    The katana!!!!!! ah what a great weapon to introduce

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  • Allivonk
    Allivonk3yr
    Berkomentar

    The description here... Damn, I love it !!![img=recommend]

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  • Allivonk
    Allivonk3yr
    Berkomentar

    Why is Vulcan kinda daddy (;

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  • Allivonk
    Allivonk3yr
    Berkomentar

    I acrually really like how you switch POV’s here, its super smooth

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  • Allivonk
    Allivonk3yr
    Berkomentar

    Oooooh petrichor 😍😍 i kinda love that

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  • Allivonk
    Allivonk3yr
    Diterbitkan

    Your writing style is really good! I like the emotions that you can feel in your writing! I think that you have potential (: I look forward to the next chapter[img=update]

    altalt
    Always Her
    Televisi · happy_feet22
    detail
  • Allivonk
    Allivonk3yr
    Berkomentar

    Damn :.( Got me feelin bad for Brook!! I like your story and you have a strong setting and storyline :)

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    altalt
    Always Her
    Televisi · happy_feet22
    detail
  • Allivonk
    Allivonk3yr
    Diterbitkan

    There were a few grammar mistakes, but none of those really matter! Your story is very captivating and draws you in. You immediately start to see through the eyes of Edward and Alexander. I really like the way that you introduce the setting and describe the scenery and atmosphere! I think if you maybe put in a bit more about what Alex is feeling or looking like (cringing or like smirking) it would be even more amazing than it already is! Damn though, I'm really excited for the next chapter :O [img=recommend][img=update]

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  • Allivonk
    Allivonk3yr
    Berkomentar

    Kinda loving Edward's attitude [img=faceslap]

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  • Allivonk
    Allivonk3yr
    Berkomentar

    I'm loving the way that you introduce the scene and setting. It's really good description and puts you in the place where they are too :o

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  • Allivonk
    Allivonk3yr
    Balas violet_sool

    Thank you so much!! I appreciate you reading this and your input (: My favourite is definitely Tristan as well haha

    altalt
    Survival of the Fittest
    Sci-fi · Allivonk
    detail