GreenSamurai

I understand your feeling of moving too fast. but to explain why I have it that way is to also explain what I intend to do with the story. I have never finished a story I ever started to write. I want to finish volume one at least before I really get in to rewrites that I know that I need. I will probably do a rewrite of each chapter while publishing auxiliary chapters before I even start volume two. At this moment (ch 9,10) is setting up an arc that is the middle act to my story with about two more arc's in it. At least that's the intention. All of this is is subject to change because all of this is just coming off the top of my head as I write it. In fact most of 9 and all of 10 would not exist if I stuck to my original plan. I think that's why I put a massive amount of dialogue in. I'm trying to flesh out the characters as i write them. That and I like the characters perception of reality to inform the reader rather than my own. Feels more organic to me. Sorry if this is a lot to take in, but felt like explaining myself and why there is a high pace. And thanks for your review, it really is appreciated.

If anybody has gotten this far I want to say thanks. But this scene was a little different in my mind at first. I was thinking of having the meting in the harem. And if enough of you want me to rewrite it that way, I just might. Just wanted to gauge your personal feelings.

This review is after the first chapter. The writing quality is great, nothing is taking me out of the story. Except the wall of exposition at the beginning. It did flesh out the world quickly, but i prefer a slower introduction to a world that keeps the reader wanting more. But I did not dock points for my personal taste. I don't like romance myself and probably won't read more. But if you do like the tags I say give it a shot.

This review is only after two chapters. The writing quality is great, nothing took me out of the story. If you like the tags, give it a shot.

This review is after the first two chapters. The writing quality is quite good. I like the developments. It starts with a strong Lovecraftian vibe which I like. This is going in to my collection. And best of luck to the writer.

This review is after chapter one. The characters and world are ripe for the picking. The stability of updates is good. But the bad is writing quality. I believe that English is not the writers first language. And learning another language is something I have yet to do myself. I applaud them on their work so far but the phrases are just to out of place for English. It took me out of the story way to much. If I would give one point of advice to the author I would say to listen to English speakers some more, like on youtube. It will help you develop your craft. And nothing but luck to the author.

This review is after the first two chapters. Writing quality is great in my opinion. Nothing to take you out of the story. If you like the tags give it a shot.

thanks again for the correction.

Thanks for the correction.

This review is after reading the first chapter. The writing quality is great, a few possible grammatical errors but nothing to take you out of the story. If you like the tags give it a shot.