xHelios

Bruh author is just milking this for plot, literally what’s the point of having another lifetime of experience if youre just basically writing an oc??? Unneeded drama, waste of word count…

Thank you for the truth and not being a bot

Connor I get, but you know damn well people think Adrien broner ain’t a top tier fighter, that boy a fraud, you ask any hood about that they’ll agree with me. Also if you do want Alex to lose, it should be soon because he already has the entire division in his hands.

Needs a lot of work.. author might not speak English because there’s a bit of Korean/Chinese young master influence. Could just be a mediocre translation. Story starts with mc, author gives all these stats about him, but doesn’t even write basic info about mc, including age. It’s just immediate mc oc wakes up with memories and just starts being a hero. Nothing written about mark, the mom, or dads interaction when mc gets powers. Very superficial story, nothing concrete that gives life to the fic.

Bruh is he a high schooler? You didn’t even say his age or explain anything, not smart author…

And there’s the Chinese young master bullshit, I knew it was only a matter of time hahaha

If you’re gonna have someone thinking to themselves, use different quotation marks like a smart person would please. Ex: “this is how people talk”, bla said, ‘This is how people think’, bla thought.

It’s already hard to believe things would progress this smoothly with an foreign unknown in their village, especially with a black dude. He looks like he from kumo according to your pic, so why are you writing this as if it’s completely normal for the ninjas of Konoha pertaining to the story???

Because it’s already breaking immersion.. like I commented earlier, this is prolly just a op wank fest with 0 plot. But I’m at least giving this a shot.

When ppl put this in their fic, 9/10 it’s usually a op wank fest with terrible plot, mainly focused on mc wishful thinking/horny dick shit. Hopefully I’m wrong