Cuteness_preacher9

I mean at first this had potential but rn it seems like your rushing the power progression honestly I would try to slow it down a bit rather than making the group chat make him 10x stronger cause it feels like that's the route your headed

thanks for the chapter 😁

I added some corrections to the English that I think would make it easier for the reader to understand as I know you said your English wasn't the best

rather than "A sword with a guard" -> "A shortsword" should fit fine as the original description is super vague

"in the biggest tent" -> "from the biggest tent" as this tells us u can hear it outside the tent

I would ammend the start of the paragraph to "He summoned" <- from "Summon"

Rather than it, "rushed Kylio once" -> saying "rushed towards kylio immediately" would be moreeasily understandable

rather than for turning do many

"for turning so many in"

also rather than saying practical and invisible which is technically correct but not how people tend to say thing I would say practically invisible as it means nearly invisible which is what I think u were going for 😁