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yadayada200028

yadayada200028

Lv2

I'm an enlightened individual who's just trying to do the things he loves before he dies ◉‿◉

2022-07-15 BergabungNigeria
6.1h

membaca

86

Membaca buku-buku

Lencana

5

Momen

77
  • yadayada200028
    yadayada2000281yr
    Berkomentar

    that's my girl right there

    She wanted to refuse, but Betty was right too. No matter what, she couldn't let go of this golden opportunity and waste it on sulking over a bastard.
    Love N' Cheese
    perkotaan · Sneakycat098
    detail
  • yadayada200028
    yadayada2000281yr
    Berkomentar

    yep, I saw it coming.

    Her mind couldn't process anything anymore and her body felt much more heavier than usual, as she dragged herself into the bathroom. Her hairs were a complete mess and her eye bags were swollen red with itchy sensation at the corners from dried tears.
    Love N' Cheese
    perkotaan · Sneakycat098
    detail
  • yadayada200028
    yadayada2000281yr
    Berkomentar

    This is where you know she's madly in love and she's going to fall into depression soon lol

    But as these words came out of his mouth, the ground abruptly slipped under Ayana's feet. She couldn't believe what she was listening to just now. She wanted to confront them but maybe it was too early to judge.
    Love N' Cheese
    perkotaan · Sneakycat098
    detail
  • yadayada200028
    yadayada2000281yr
    Balas MansonFD7

    Most of the sentences are to show character interactions and help somewhat in character development. I try to make the paragraphs as short as possible but I'll try to shorten them more. Also, everything becomes better the more indepth you read. Thanks for the review, it helps me become better as a writer 😊❤️

    操你妈
    perkotaan · yadayada200028
    detail
  • yadayada200028
    yadayada2000281yr
    Balas MansonFD7

    I'm assuming that's a good thing 😂

    Ch 3 Not so good
    操你妈
    perkotaan · yadayada200028
    detail
  • yadayada200028
    yadayada2000281yr
    Balas Miriam_Ibekwe
    Ch 28 It took ten days for everything to turn upside down. (Day 8-first part)
    操你妈
    perkotaan · yadayada200028
    detail
  • yadayada200028
    yadayada2000281yr
    Balas MansonFD7

    sure.

    Normally Kelvin would have just gone towards playing games till the day was over or any important work was brought to his notice but he had something to take care of first.
    操你妈
    perkotaan · yadayada200028
    detail
  • yadayada200028
    yadayada2000281yr
    Diterbitkan

    I don't think I need to say anything tbh lol, this is jksmanga's book so it deserves the 5 stars. He's one of my favorite authors.

    Level up Zombie
    Fantasi · JKSManga
    detail
  • yadayada200028
    yadayada2000281yr
    Berkomentar

    Smooth writing.

    Ch 22 Fight club
    World End: The Successor's Contract
    Fantasi · Kirito_K5
    detail
  • yadayada200028
    yadayada2000281yr
    Berkomentar

    use better punctuations

    Paragraf ini telah dihapus.
    World End: The Successor's Contract
    Fantasi · Kirito_K5
    detail
  • yadayada200028
    yadayada2000281yr
    Berkomentar

    Descriptions and wordings need a bit more work.

    Paragraf ini telah dihapus.
    World End: The Successor's Contract
    Fantasi · Kirito_K5
    detail
  • yadayada200028
    yadayada2000281yr
    Berkomentar

    what's with the comma?

    Paragraf ini telah dihapus.
    World End: The Successor's Contract
    Fantasi · Kirito_K5
    detail
  • yadayada200028
    yadayada2000281yr
    Balas Kirito_K5

    Thank you max 🥂

    操你妈
    perkotaan · yadayada200028
    detail
  • yadayada200028
    yadayada2000281yr
    Balas Kirito_K5

    yep

    "Yes."
    操你妈
    perkotaan · yadayada200028
    detail
  • yadayada200028
    yadayada2000281yr
    Balas Kirito_K5

    ??

    Paragraf ini telah dihapus.
    操你妈
    perkotaan · yadayada200028
    detail
  • yadayada200028
    yadayada2000281yr
    Diterbitkan

    This is a true gem. The synopsis and the cover doesn't do justice to it though, I suggest you update it to give it more traction.

    A Lady Does It Better
    Sci-fi · QueenFrieza
    detail
  • yadayada200028
    yadayada2000281yr
    Diterbitkan

    While the plot is nice and all, you could do better with your story telling. A whole lot better.

    World End: The Successor's Contract
    Fantasi · Kirito_K5
    detail
  • yadayada200028
    yadayada2000281yr
    Berkomentar

    onwards

    Ch 4 Where am I?
    World End: The Successor's Contract
    Fantasi · Kirito_K5
    detail
  • yadayada200028
    yadayada2000281yr
    Berkomentar

    cliche

    Paragraf ini telah dihapus.
    World End: The Successor's Contract
    Fantasi · Kirito_K5
    detail
  • yadayada200028
    yadayada2000281yr
    Berkomentar

    moan in pain?

    Paragraf ini telah dihapus.
    World End: The Successor's Contract
    Fantasi · Kirito_K5
    detail