abyss_of_darkness

yeah bro this is heaven's way

too many repeated words (wings folded on his back , girl making somethin small , etc..)the story has many plot holes why the dark side attacked during the face off between villagers and orders(they could wait for both sides to die ), and the chapters are streatched without an final goal in mind , it does not look like a story more like u making it on the run, which reduces its quality, a simple face off is going on for too long ,villagers are without a reason supporting the child , and many more shortcomings in story , Author hope u stop and make a story and redo it again with a full script in mind .

disgusting MC , what nonsense is this , he does not want her to be interested even after speaking these things , does he really think this boob world is that simple , that world is played by a goddess for fun ,

too much stupid plot , the girl is nothing ,, why do all authors wants mc's to fall for her ,its too common ,and she is not smart enough to see everything just with a look ,just thinking with your lower half while writing is not a good practice for authors

its not possible to outruk or maenuver a bear , be more realistic

bro serious either make a good novel or don't write half assed , your jokes only reduce the immersion ,nothing else

first thing instinctively would be to save ones life then see the surrounding situation , author be more realistic

To be honest too many loopholes, just to make mc character development u shows him mentally like a child , without making him think like a child u can make a very good novel . without a connection to the character how can u have people liking him in a fanfiction without making a new story. U can't

its too much foolish to say it out load , it only creates more problems like how do u know everything and the demon is with them in that place it surely would know what they are talking about .,its a surefire way to die, too many loopholes here ,

All the acquired misfortune in the world can be accounted to the incapability of the person involved.