Quake_Midaro

Gotta be honest the more I read of this fic the more disappointing and annoying the MC becomes I’m out the fic has a nice premise but the MC is too f*cking ret@rded and impulsive to be interesting or worthwhile following along good luck with the fic but yeah the MC is complete and utter trash haven’t read a fic with an MC this bad in quite a while

If she’s going to travel a lot I wouldn’t tie her down to a territory personally unless you make someone a Proxy ruler in her stead a Ruler constantly leaving their country to travel and adventure would look Horrible from a civilian perspective it’d be like why is our Ruler off galavanting doing whatever instead of Ruling and managing the country then again it depends on how often your going to have her Travel Fight Grow etc versus this being a Nation Building fic which will constrict her Freedom and Movement quite a bit you set the fics name implies her journeying through different Universes not really settling in 1 unless her Kingdom/Country moves with her it’s a Useless and Crippling position to have as for her being a Futa in the British Royal Family she would have likely been abandoned and quietly offed or Snipped at Birth Royalty in History British Royalty are more cruel and political than many seem to depict them as it wasn’t unusual for “extra’s” to be given a remote territory as a fancy prison if they at least had a use for political Marriage the MC had no safety nets here her literal saving grace is you as the author not having her treated like an abomination like a Hermaphrodite probably would have in Christian England there are some Nations that thought Herm’s as Diety’s or Chosen but quite a few Christian countries viewed them as Demonic and Twisted so if your going to use historical reality to base the fics Royal Family on the likely hood off your MC surviving to even 5 years old is less likely than not she’s dead weight politically and religious nuts would think her an front to God and or accused of being a Witch or Demon “Wh*re” depending in time period in Modern Times she would likely be kept from public view of not forcefully having her male parts removed to make her politically viable for marriage Royalty was weird when it came to deformities Leprosy mental r*tardation were fine but physical deformities from birth were looked down on heavily it Depends on time period how to go about this in the 1800’s when Queen Victoria (Queen or Princess Victoria her Daughter this does change the MC’s fate realistically) was alive and ruling if the MC’s Mother’s pregnancy wasn’t too publicly known she’d have likely been killed at Birth and the mother subject to suspicion and superstition probably killed as well if not killed then both exiled to a Prison Castle in a remote territory British Royalty isn’t known to take Physical deformities well and a Royal who couldn’t produce a male offspring or produced a deformed male offspring was looked down on it’s only In recent years where male or female descendants aren’t treated as differently and where we learned that the Father is responsible for the child being male or female genetically still male descendants are preferred but just if your making this fic historically accurate the MC has more detriments to her freedom and life than I think you realize in this case she would be cared for simply because of Royal Blood but ostracized and despised by all by making this historically accurate unless you want her to have a family or loved ones keep your current path if you want her to have family that actually matter or care for her your going to have to change things about the British Royalty they were much more cruel to themselves than many realize pre 1960’s-1970’s-ish even the MC has a hundred or so years to go before a Hermaphrodite in Europe wouldn’t be viewed as Demon Spawn or Useless very few Christian Territories were accepting of mutated and deformed Women many outright treated them as Witch’s and Demon’s for England to the tips of Russia Eurasian Content wasn’t particularly kind to them a few Asian Cultures and many Hinduism primary countries would have accepted her but Christian’s no people were ostracized and killed for less during that time period

I’d say don’t go the De aging route Childhood arcs are already unpopular as is wouldn’t risk the act of having to dull and slow things down for a second Childhood arc unless you incorporate time skips and flashbacks which then will get tedious for you to manage then again it depends on your preference it is your book after all my honest opinion would be the only way to salvage the trope is go all in and just have the family die in the meantime of her being gone that’s your only real option to not have excuses and lies to balance to explain it away or creating an entire secondary Childhood Arc or convoluted time skip ideal it’s a bad situation all around and with her being Royalty that doesn’t necessarily mean being restricted depends on her status usefulness and the Royalty type you make her family out to be if you want to make her family the Stiff “Proper” Nobility where Royalty and Status matter more than Family or Care then you got the 3 mentioned paths with their branches if you write the Royalty as Proper in public yet actually caring for each other rather than everything being a mental Chess Game of Politics it just depends on what type of Family you are going to write for her if they view her as a Princess whose only use is Marraige and Political ties then just off them simplifies your writing a bit but makes it easier to manage with less demerits it’s up to you in the end good luck with this but this fic isn’t 1 I’ll read there are few tropes that just bother me to no end it would taint the entire story for me as to me it’s the MC just Callously saying Her Family does not matter to her she is perfectly fine just ditching them 10 years of her not being there 10 years for something wrong to happen potentially 10 years of a Father Agitated by Greif has a bad day when a Diplomat of another country prickles a nerve and War breaks out over nothing 10 years it might just drive the Mother to isolation and depression etc. there’s far too many negatives with seperation arcs for me to ever see the usefulness of them ever being worthwhile they are almost always convoluted and used to railroad the idea only the MC is a Constant character why care about side characters when the MC has shown they will abandon Family let alone Friends if something is easier to obtain by Abandoning them the president is set by that Trope that no one but the MC matters no one but the MC is important a time freeze for the home reality takes away immersion and consequences to the MC’s actions her Family whole heartedly accepting her return Healthy 10 years later would be sloppy and wish washy her trying to fake being a escapee or something would be convoluted and need an entire setup to pull off but makes the MC willing to Lie and Manipulate her Family for personal gain which again bad end route I just even now that I’m on cloud nine trynna think of any situation or fic ai’ve read that attempted a seperation arc I can’t think of a single 1 that handled it well or that the trope wasn’t a clear drop in quality to other arcs unless it’s like a Vacation or Travel ordeal World Hopping Dimension Travel etc. during Childhood to facilitate a Sepereration Arc is fairly common in isekai Fics that have child MC’s and items also what often ends them before they get started just be careful how you go about it if this story is something you genuinely care for how you address the seperation or whatever potential change you make will likely be what determines wether your fic makes it or fades into obscurity Tournament Arcs Seperation Arcs and Training Arcs are the 3 kind of Make it or Break it Arc’s for fics that employ them I’d recommend Pokémon Fics for reference they often employ 2 of the 3 and sometimes even all 3 many fail and fall during the Training or Tournament arc you’ll notice the Quality shifts some fics manage to make it consistent and interesting some treat them as minor 2-4 page events to get around them either way good luck on your fic just remember the Stories are only limited by your imagination and cohesion it is Fantasy everything from a Bright Pink 10,000 Ft tall Chihuahua whose a Cosmic Jester to a normal everyday John Doe can be an MC just like Royalty could very well be a Hyper Aggressive Warmonger or Greedy Status oriented Noble to a rather Good Man who cares for his people are a Goofy yet Good King who genuinely cares about his Kingodm and Fanily there are as many ways for you to go about this as you can imagine 1000 times over Good Luck and have fun with it

First off sorry for the long winded text but I will not be reading this fic because some of it’s choices and idea’s your using frankly disgust me and dredge up personal issues from the past Personally if it was me and family member especially a child causes distress pain suffering etc. faking their death/kidnapping and come back happy healthy strong put together after 10 years later not anemic from starvation or abuse not frail and skittish no Stockholm signs etc. I’d not only be very suspicious I’d likely cut contact with said person immediately the Ignorant Carelessness Indifference and Disdain that person has for their Family to just abandon them because “why not” they caused all that pain and neglect needlessly and want to act like it never happened that it was a good thing or something HELL NO to me that person died 10 years ago the THING that claims to be it after 10 years ain’t family it’s a Abomination a Mistake something to be despised and ignored magine the pain the sleepless nights the worry etc. the Mother and Father will go through Family should never be thrown to the wayside like that IMO I don’t care what path you take with it separation arcs for the sake of training time skips etc. like this are beyond Stupid and Unnecessary there’s other ways to go about it that doesn’t come with you potentially destroying your family through grief and heartache as someone that’s actually experienced family being taken and it’s after effects nah it can and will destroy families I won’t be reading it or anything anytime I come across those tropes it’s an immediate Blacklist for me O will not ever support or read fics that use Seperation Arcs simply to get rid of family between the memories it drags up reminders of a family that once existed parents that were alive before grief made them do stupid things nah it ain’t worth it to me I watched my world burn when my Little Brother was abducted I ain’t gonna be reminded of that constantly especially with how casual and dismissive people are with these seperation arcs

Honestly I think this is where I hop off too much Power too quickly for the world she’s from Remnant is gonna be a Gmod Sandbox server to them by the time they get back and Yin’s become boring she’s just a Murderhobo Sis-Con don’t really see myself getting interested in her character again good luck on the rest of the story but yeah Yin’s gotten boring and super predictable this fic has gotten stale hop into a different dimension wreak bloody havoc mess gain a Follower/Guardian wonder around doing whatever she wantswith 0 consequences even when facing those that should be stronger win power up repeat the trope makes for good short stories but long term it get’s stale and it’s become a rather common trope for fics nowadays her beating fending off Sirzechs was the start of that downfall she had 0 chance at all against someone of his power yet somehow she pulled it out her ass this time is more believable but just boring just wondering around worlds not your own doing whatever she wants there’s no suspense no chance of failure no consequence no nothing we know the result before it happens

Thanks for the chapter

This one and the Dragon Ball fic

This wettest is beyond stupid no thoughts went into this fic at all just stupidity