EchoHellion
Gamer and otaku. Working on a fantasy novel project.
Tulisan
membaca
52
Membaca buku-buku
Overall, the chapter could use some spacing and grammar fixes. Dialogue should be on new lines. There's also some irregular breaks due to some misuses of the comma. What I like though is how descriptive this chapter is and the way it introduces the characters, what they're like and the MC's motives. In summary, it's a good start.
Replace outbreak with "big break", that's the wrong usage of outbreak as far as I know.