you have alot if incomplete sentencing, like subject and object in the sentences needs to be corrected, the premise of the story is not that bad, but the structure of almost every sentence also missed nuances. Could be good if you are able to fix this👌😁

👌👀 cool, it's really looking good, just keep it up😎

ophfff, hermione though, but I like the story, it has credible backstory, and a intriguing storyline so far, looking forward to this story going forward. Incredible writing quality and everything just make so much sense! any who my review will probably show that the 2 first chapter are captivating🥳 will not say much but so far so good and I have already added it my library which is quite rare for such a novel. (would love if he got a animagus form during his school years, like a badger or whatever?)😁😁 continue the good story and I will be a faithful reader. might update this if you post a few more chapters just to be up to speed so to speak.🙈💥💥💥

jau!🥳 this is getting interesting

i love it, so cute😍🙈

om ready to read more😉

why can't we give powerstones?🤔🤔

this is great

🥳🥳woopwoop

fiddle would fit nicely

this is great, keep up the good work😁😁

it's a slow paced story that haven't really branched into the reviewing criteria. However the start of the story starts with a good character creation together with a reason for his personality. For the moment it has a large focus on creation, with most on the smithing. No other support character has been introduced. The story seems like it's building a better progression outline of the mc, as he is developing in his skills before the novel will branch more, I dunno. anyway it is a good story so far, and I'll see what it progresses into👌👌 keep it up

1+

It's a bad translation, with grammatically bad sentence structure and sayings not used in English. I guess the premise of the story could be good, if only the writing could be lifted to at least an acceptable level, however, at the moment, it doesn't deliver, peace out everyone 😁

did you skip a chapter? goes from 18 to 20?😊 good story though 😁👍

keep it, the story flows, and thats the important part👍🥳

ahh, yes, you should use the tag for #hp to reach out to a larger audience for novel😎👍

small errors in the writing, but the story is so amazing in only 11 chapters that it doesn't matter! incredible build up so far with characters that works with canon, but has fleshed out personality changes😇 the world has been used brilliantly so far. By far one of the best starts I've read in a while, if you can continue this story for full fleshed out story, then the story can go down in history as the standard for future works in fanfiction. Good job, keep up author🥳🥳

it seems like his ambition is to learn magic and in the end figure out how to become immortal, so it seems it is better for him to go to ravenclaw where he can learn without all the the politicising, plus, sending him to ravenclaw opens many doors and sub stories with story filling. I dunno, your the boss, but I like ravenclaw personally

I think your story har great potetial! keep writing and i will keep grading it👍👍🥳🥳