aonly9470

I'm glad you enjoy the story. sadly my innate self and life problems means that the story is unlikely to be what it oculd be, but I'm still trying to get more chapters out

the prophecy reveal is in chapter 3. and give a little idea that she's being deceptive. like her dad giving her a questioning look if she does something excessive, "she frowned, wondering why he hadn't snapped back at her even after her father chastised her for being aggressive." is a way you can put it in without going "I'm not like this. I just want to test him." it breaks flow and is akin to the character telling the reader information.

writing a second reply because the first one doesn't explain well. the internal dialogue about the prophecy can generally be cut out and improve the story, as it leaves the players in suspense about "Why rio?"and so connect with him when he specifically asks lia because she has made a special vow not to harm him

rewrite the dialogues. an example in the first discussion with Rio and the emperor, the internal dialogue is a harsh halt to deliver exposition or characters opinion that can be naturally explained later. the prophecy discussions are a good example. it can be a good way to connect with Rio's wariness that he only tries to solve the mystery when he is alone with the one who vowed to support him.

I see the potential so far. but as someone who hasn't reached when the story "gets good" the introductory chapters need a bit of a rewrite.

no discord at the moment as I've been having trouble with inspiration.

That's what you get when you try to write a character while you have your own mental problem. I suffer from autism and so have to make my protagonists autistic because you spend the most time in their heads.

just changed my mind because of editor problems. is there any social media you'd prefer?

I don't have any social media I interact with much. I have been having trouble over covid to keep up a regular schedule for updates so posting has been sporadic. I do hope to finish this arc soon though.

there is a mental link through the translators so it's easier to convey intent when someone speaks during the translation process. and the translators are connected to the internet at all times