MicahPhillipS1

Wow blatantly plagarized...how sad. I think you should try writing your own story but can you?

Runner...not rauner, raner, or roner...you got it right once [img=gift][img=disgusted]

Shells Town

this is exactly what the author did

Learn and Use the correct terms, I am honestly still on chapter one and it is soo frustrating that someone from earth who apparently knows about star wars can't use the proper terms correctly and please pick one, first person or third person, Also is the MC Anakin or is he just existing in some space watching him. Reread before you post and fix mistakes like "car" instead of "pod" and other shit like that that pops up. Besides that keep writing. You can only get better by sticking to it.

Fix this...its Fawkes not Fox.

Its a Harry Potter Fanfiction that could be great...if Nigel was gone or less active. Honestly that's it.

Don't you ever stop writing. With everything about star wars crumbling right before our eyes, this is a light in the dark. A story that is different and doesn't tarnish what has been created by George Lucas and something that lives so dearly in the hearts of many people. This is absolutely great, and chapter 19 confirmed my feelings toward it. Thank you

You took the book/movie, added Luci and made Hermione even more annoying than before in the most unnatural of ways...and she is what? 11 in the 1st year. Absolutely Trippin.

................. A Mutate is different from a Mutant. A Mutate doesnt have the X-gene, while Mutants do. Aunt May is His Aunt not mother... Sure magic is fine but lawd have mercy learn about the characters you are writing about.......