Chapter Nineteen: Play Misty For Me

 Katherine decided to walk around the stables for a bit. She was drawn outside and strolled out to the pasture where Gregor was. As she watched, several stable workers closed in around the black stallion. The crack of the whip sounded, and she felt fear, raw and painful, crawl over her like a live animal. Before she realized what she was doing, she opened the gate and headed toward them. Gregor was snarling, he lunged at the nearest man and came away with the sleeve of the man's shirt. They all backed away, except the man with the whip. She got nearer. "Stop!" she shouted.

 They all turned, and Gregor took the opportunity to escape. He raced to the other end of the enclosure. "You should not be here, madame! It is too dangerous!"

 Paulette rushed into the enclosure from where she had been watching from the stables, "Please madame, it is too dangerous for you to be here!"

 Katherine marched up to the man with the whip hanging in his hand. "Get out!" When he did not move, she shoved him back, "I said get out!"

 When all of them turned and ran, Katherine thought she had scared them, but when she turned to leave, she came face to muzzle with the black stallion! They stared at one another. She heard his breath, and she could feel the heat of it on her face. The dark brown eyes studied her. "I know you're not happy here Gregor. But give it a chance. I wasn't so sure about things here either, but I'm beginning to enjoy myself. I will make you a promise, no one will ever come at you with a whip again."

 Gregor snorted at her, lifting his head sharply in denial, and glared down at her. Katherine smiled. "I know, you don't trust anyone. Someone treated you badly and I'm sorry about that. But you're in a good place now. Those men were just stupid."

 Gregor agreed because he tossed his head and made low whickers like he was clearing his throat. Paulette ran from the pasture headlong into Etienne. "What's wrong?"

 "It's madame!" Paulette whispered frantically. She looked past Etienne to where the Dominus and Vincent stood waiting by the ATV. 

 Etienne grabbed Paulette's shoulders and shook her once. "Where is she?"

 "With Gregor!" Paulette squeaked.

 Etienne broke in a run out of the stable, past Vincent and Vanderau. They both followed a step behind him. Etienne skidded to a halt at the gate. He signaled everyone away and they immediately disappeared.

 Katherine moved to the side and Gregor allowed her to come a bit closer and stand quietly next to him. "You know, we could take a stroll, the sun is quite warm here on this side of the pasture." She took a step forward and Gregor followed, coming around to stand in front of her, blocking her way. His ears flattened on his head, and he made a low rumbling noise at her. His posturing was meant to intimidate her, and she was! She stopped and stood very still. "Not quite sure about your situation or me?"

 Vincent and Vanderau reached the fence. "My God, what is she doing!" Vincent asked. 

 Katherine stepped to the side and began walking away toward the back part of the pasture. Gregor watched her and then began to follow her. When the stallion caught up and fell into step with her, she slowly reached out and laid her hand on his shoulder. The muscles and hide quivered at her touch, but his head lowered, and his breathing became more relaxed. They walked slowly together, her hand resting gently against Gregor's shoulder. By the time they came up by the gate, Gregor was beginning to pause and crop the grass. Etienne opened the gate slowly and Katherine walked out. Gregor continued to graze as if nothing in the world had happened. 

 Katherine turned on her heel and marched to the stable, past Vincent, past Vanderau, and up to the man with the whip. "Don't you ever go near that horse again!"

 "I don't work for you!" the man sneered down at her, "You don't tell me what to do!"

 "But I do! Pack your gear and get off my property!"

 That voice! Katherine froze and turned to come face to face with Nicklaus Vanderau! His dark gaze was blazing at the stable man as Gregor had glared at his tormentor.

 "You heard Dominus Vanderau!" Etienne said sharply. "Justin, make sure Lannoy is escorted off the property."

 "Yes sir!" Justin said and followed Lannoy out of the stables. Vanderau's dark black gaze lowered, and he looked at Katherine for the first time. "Are you hurt, Katherine?" The voice was low, soft, and sounded deeper and richer than on the phone. She marveled at the sound of his voice! 

 "No, I'm fine." She answered then for some reason she felt it necessary to apologize. "I'm so sorry, I just reacted – I'm sorry."

 "You don't need to ever apologize, mon coeur," He said soothingly, then the edge was back in his voice. "But you placed yourself needlessly in danger."

 She bristled at his tone. She drew herself up and met his imperious dark gaze, her own deep blue eyes flashing icy fire, "It won't happen again, Dominus!" Katherine replied and she turned on her heel and walked past Vincent and got into the ATV. 

 Vincent was uncertain what he should do but he received the nod from Vanderau. He got into the driver's side of the ATV, and they drove off. Vanderau watched them leave. As the ATV disappeared over the rise, he heaved a great calming sigh and turned to Etienne with a sheepish smile, "Do you still have that bottle of bourbon in your office?" 

 "Yes, sir – I do!" Etienne replied snapping to attention now that Vanderau was addressing him.

 "Let's go have a toast to celebrate Gregor's progeny." Vanderau said and clasped Etienne's shoulder, "And recover from madame's ire!"

 Etienne had to laugh lightly at Vanderau's comment. No one ever – ever had defied the Dominus before. Katherine had drawn herself up and met the master of the Sept head-on! 

 Katherine was fuming! As Vincent drove back to the mansion he could feel the waves of irritation flowing like flames from Katherine. He slowed and pulled off to the trail. He turned the engine off. "You know Katherine, he was frightened out of his wits – we all were!"

 "I know!" Katherine declared. "I know! It was an impulsive and dangerous move. But what else could I do? No one was prepared to stop that idiot from further damaging an already suffering animal!"

 "He knows," Vincent replied softly. 

 Katherine climbed out stiffly from the ATV and stomped off a few feet. "I'm angry at myself more than anything, Vincent! I feel like something is happening to me and it's getting more tempting for me to just let it come out like a Fourth of July celebration! Am I going to turn into a monster?"

 "That is impossible, and you know it!" Vincent told her. "If you are the Vanderau blade – and we all think you will be – your abilities will be utilized in many ways. Yes, you will need control, and that comes from a stronger will than yours."

 "Who? Vanderau?" Katherine guessed.

 "If it turns out you are his blade, he will be your stabilizing force," Vincent said, "But the entire Sept will be tapping into that power, so you will not go up in flames, you will be like a beacon in the darkness."

 "I guess I need to see Sauvageon," Katherine said as she got back into the ATV next to Vincent.

 "Yes, but you will first need a bath," he teased, "You reek of horses!"

 Katherine laughed, "Yeah, isn't it great?"

 They rode back up to the mansion and Collette was waiting to take charge. "Did madame enjoy her first riding lesson?"

 "I sure did!" Katherine replied, "But I need a good soak for all my muscles!"

 Collette nodded, "Yes, I know just what you need, madame!"

 Vincent left Katherine in Collette's charge. He went off to the study to take care of some unfinished business. He needed to speak to his father about his new role as Katherine's Indago. His pledge to her had some repercussions that he had not been prepared for! Keeping the Dominus away from Katherine and maintaining his distance so a natural bond between Vanderau and Katherine could form. 

 Since Vanderau was in residence, everyone was moving at a quick pace. The dining room was opened up and there were to be several guests expected at lunch. Collette laid out everything for Katherine so that when she had toweled off and slipped on a light robe, she padded barefoot into the dressing room, put on her undergarments, and slipped into a beautiful sapphire blue cotton damask dress that was shot with sparkling silver threads. Once the dress was on, Collette cinched the bodice with the matching laces at the back. On her feet, Collette had selected dyed-to-match ballet shoes that laced up her leg with ribbons of the same color. When she came out Collette brushed, and French braided her hair and coiled the braided end into a neat spiral at her neck. 

 "Who will be at lunch?" Katherine asked Collette as she was finishing pinning her hair in place. 

 "The Dominus, you, Mr. Thys, Sauvageon, and family representatives of Gaillez, Rares, and Priam," Collette answered as she added a few pearl hairpins to Katherine's hair. 

 Katherine went to her bedside table and opened the drawer, there with her small box of earrings and other jewelry was the velvet box with her Vanderau family ring. She would need to wear that when in the company of other members of the Sept. She slid the ring on her right index finger and Collette came with a flat jewelry box. "See what earrings you would like, madame."

 Katherine selected a pair of teardrop pearl earrings. She checked her image in the large oval mirror in her bedroom and smiled at Collette. "You always know, don't you Collette."

 The young woman blushed at the praise and smiled happily. "You should be downstairs when the other guests arrive, madame. Duties of the lady of the house."

 Katherine nodded. She took one last look at herself in the mirror and headed downstairs. In the entranceway, she saw several cars pulling up. Vincent hurried up the front gallery and spotted Katherine. He came up and sketched a bow, "A definite improvement!" he told her.

 She rolled her eyes at him. "Collette told me three family representatives were coming. Are they coming to grill me some more?"

 "No!" Vincent declared, "They are coming to get a look at you. You are safe here, you do not need to defend yourself from anyone. They're friendly to Vanderau and will be coming to see for themselves the Vanderau Potential!"

 "I'm trying not to be paranoid, but it's hard!" Katherine told him emphatically. "This is mostly unreal to me – spectacularly sumptuous and completely unreal!"

 "Come, we should be waiting in the parlor. Mrs. Tremeur will be bringing them in. The Dominus is already waiting." Vincent hurried Katherine along, ducking into an adjoining room that had a connecting hallway to the parlor. 

 "You think he's still annoyed with me?" Katherine asked. 

 "Of course not!" Vincent declared. He leaned in and bumped his shoulder lightly against hers, "Who could be annoyed with such a lovely blade!" 

 Katherine scoffed and lightly punched Vincent in the arm. He feigned injury and made her laugh. They emerged from the side entrance. Sauvageon beamed a smile from his seat, his light grey eyes taking in her presence. 

 Vincent turned to Katherine and leaned close to speak softly in her ear, "Remember, do not get too close to the Dominus. We want everyone to know you are of his family, but they must not even try to assume you are compromised by Vanderau. Remain neutral. If you must, stay close to Sauvageon, they're already afraid of him and will keep their distance!"

 Katherine nodded. "Neutral," she murmured. 

 Vanderau entered the parlor from the gallery and spotted Vincent and Katherine standing together at the back of the room. He felt intense jealousy burn through his veins and turned his back on the scene to calm his emotions. When he had centered himself once more he faced the room and caught Vincent's eye and he nodded for him to bring Katherine up closer. Vincent leaned in and spoke next to Katherine's ear. She nodded and moved toward Vanderau, her smile brilliant and the emotional broadcast was nervousness and genuine delight to see him.

 Vanderau let it swirl around him. She was worried he was still annoyed with her! It pleased him to know she was concerned about his opinion of her. He smiled down at her as she joined him at the gallery entrance. "Nervous Katherine?"

 "A little," She replied and came to join him where he stood. She stopped and stood a good six feet from him and a step behind. When he turned to look for her, he realized she was keeping a proper distance. He shot a look at Vincent, he realized that the Indago had explained to her why she needed to keep her distance. He turned slightly toward her, she was even more lovely now that she was not glaring up at him and her temper was not sparking off in a thousand directions! "Vincent has told you who these people are, yes?"

 "Yes, Dominus, Vincent said they were possible allies, loyal to you." She replied glancing up at him. His dark eyes met her deep blue look and he felt them draw him in closer. 

 "That is correct," Vanderau said for her ears only. "But do not trust them. They are here primarily out of curiosity," he told her. "About you!"

 Then they should have something to satisfy their curiosity, Katherine thought. She felt a warmth blossom in her solar plexus. The same kind of feeling she had when she worked with the orbs. Vanderau felt the effervescent effects as they swirled around her and curled around him. He let it envelop him, it was natural and gentle, yet effective as the guests caught the glittering flare around Katherine's head. Vanderau saw the manifestation and glanced over at Sauvageon who simply smiled.

 Mrs. Tremeur led the guests up to the front gallery and then stepped aside to allow the guests to continue up the gallery on their own. She hurried off to have the serving staff set another place for the son of Jean-Luc Rares. He was not expected, but apparently, the senior Rares felt it necessary to have his eldest son, Louis with him. The group stopped as Vanderau greeted them each in turn then he turned slightly toward Katherine. He introduced them to her. "Katherine allow me to introduce you to, Claudette Priam, Frederic Gaillez, Jean-Luc Rares, and his son, Louis Albert Rares. Lady and Gentlemen, I introduce you to Katherine Elena Van Dermeer."

 Katherine placed her hand to her heart, and gave a gracious smile, "Welcome to Manoir de la jeune fille du Soleil." She had practiced and perfected it so that even Vincent had complimented her accent. 

 "Lunch is about to be served, come and meet our other guests," Vanderau said. His voice was gracious and warm. Katherine noted that his body language did not exactly match the tone of his voice. He had Gaillez, the two Rares men, and Priam go into the parlor and he and Katherine entered together behind them. When the Sept representatives spotted Sauvageon sitting comfortably in a wingback chair, they faltered, sending alerted glances to one another and then to Vanderau. Katherine was not sure why everyone had the same fear of the old gladio, but she liked him. She took Vincent's advice and headed as soon as she could to join Sauvageon, sitting on a tapestry cushion on the hearth of the fireplace. She was also avoiding Louis Rares and his attempts to engage her in conversation. Katherine felt very uncomfortable with all the male attention. Sauvageon's light grey eyes took in the people in the room, and he looked over at Katherine, "I understand you had your first riding lesson – you seem to still be all in one piece!"

 "I did survive," Katherine commented, "I am looking forward to my next lesson."

 "I also heard about your encounter with a certain equine by the name of Gregor," Sauvageon murmured.

 "Yes," She returned.

 Sauvageon chuckled and he reached out a hand to Katherine, "With all the male attention you prefer the association of the 'beast of Germany'?" 

 She laid her hand in his, "Vincent advised it, to discourage having to engage with the guests." 

 "Good lad!" Sauvageon said cheerfully. He glanced at Vanderau, whose dark gaze continued to find Katherine even though he carried on a conversation with Gaillez. Vincent was busy with Rares, his son, and Priam but even he continued to monitor Katherine's whereabouts. "Stay close and you will be shielded from any probing questions." 

 When the gong rang signaling lunch was being served, the large double pocket doors rolled back, and Mrs. Tremeur stepped back and turned the proceedings over to the serving staff.

 Vanderau sat at the head of the table and Sauvageon escorted Katherine to be seated at the other end so that she and Vanderau were looking at one another. Sauvageon took a seat to her right, with Vincent next to the old gladio. To Katherine's left was Jean-Luc Rares. The first course came and went, and the conversation was slow at first then, picked up as everyone settled in and grew less intimidated by Sauvageon, who for the most part simply listened to the circulating chatter. Katherine struck up a conversation with Jean-Luc Rares and quickly discovered he had an interest in falconry. She knew very little about the art but knew what questions to ask to keep him talking. Then dessert. 

 While the idle chat continued over coffee and dessert, Katherine studied everyone at the table. They all seemed to be normal businessmen, most were banker types. The woman looked like a stereotypical version of an academic, including the eyeglasses on a chain – expensive designer eyeglasses! Then she looked at Vanderau. He looked like a very wealthy businessman – a tycoon. He was younger by decades, mid-thirties. Dark black wavy hair that was cut close to his head. He had long black eyelashes that any woman would kill to have naturally! His eyes were dark, very nearly black. His complexion had a bronze undertone, skin that tanned easily. Vincent was a lighter version of Vanderau, and Katherine guessed both carried perhaps Basque traits from the Pyrenees Mountains. Both men were young in comparison to the guests around the table. Even Rares' son was older, somewhere in his mid-forties. Even as young as Vanderau was, he still commanded and held their respect! As Dominus he wore the mantle of that position well. He was tall, lean, and moved slowly and deliberately. She wondered idly if he was a swordsman. As she was openly studying him he felt her eyes on him and he met her gaze. He smiled and then it grew as her cheeks grew pink. She dropped her gaze and Sauvageon leaned toward her, "If I can hear you, he can certainly pick up on some of your observations. And you are correct, his great-grandfather was Basque. Very observant of you, Katherine!"

 She cut her eyes over to Sauvageon and saw he was teasing her. She smiled tightly and quirked an eyebrow at him. 

 It was Sauvageon who suggested they head for the conservatory. He leaned toward Katherine, "I was rather hoping you would honor us with a piece of music."

 Rares cheered in agreement, forgetting to be wary of Sauvageon. "Oh, what a perfect end to a lovely luncheon!"

 "It would be my honor." Katherine said, then glanced down at Vanderau, "With the Dominus' permission."

 Everyone, including Vanderau, paused. He rose, tugging at the cuffs of his dress shirt, shot a sharp look at Sauvageon, then gave a brief nod in Katherine's direction. "Of course, Katherine."

 So, everyone began the trip to the conservatory. Mrs. Tremeur had quickly assembled her staff and they set about arranging chairs in a semi-circle near the piano. Katherine escorted Sauvageon to his overstuffed chair, "Do you have a request?"

 "Play 'Misty' for me," Sauvageon said softly. 

 "All right," Katherine said, and she went to the piano and sat down. Vincent was there and opened the lid and adjusted the lid prop so the music would fill the room! He joined the others who were seated in chairs. She rested her fingers on the silky keys, composed herself, and began the sweet soft introduction to Misty. As she played she was aware of Vanderau circling the room, watching her, listening to her play and the music filling the room. At some point, Katherine began to hum and every time she played, the emotion poured into her composition and the manifestation of sparkling light began to drift up and catch the cut crystal pendants of the chandelier that was suspended high above the piano. 

 There were small gasps of surprise as the lights continued to swirl up and around her. Vanderau was just as mesmerized as the rest of his guests. He moved closer and she looked up at him and finished the last notes of the song they wafted up into the ceiling along with the lights that were like dust motes sparkling in the sunlight. "That was beautiful, thank you, mon coeur."

 She smiled and the light applause sounded, and Katherine was brought back to the present. She rose and was immediately surrounded by admiring guests. Vanderau looked over where Sauvageon was sitting in his comfortable chair with a smile on his face. He went over and sat in the chair across from the retired gladio, "What game do you play?"

 "As you can see for yourself," Sauvageon replied. "She has powerful natural abilities that will need months not weeks to hone."

 "I don't have months, Sauvageon, I have days, a mere few days! Will she be ready?"

 Sauvageon chuckled, "She will be ready, but will you Nicklaus? I already see the signs in you when you look at her."

 Vanderau sat back. "Damn you to blazes, old man!" he whispered.

 Sauvageon waved off the curse. "Your grandfather uttered worse, Nicklaus. If you want to lead, she is your blade. There is little more I can do but prepare her for the onslaught from the others. Show her how to block them and open herself to you. But you cannot risk compromising her before the testing." Sauvageon got to his feet. "Come, Nicklaus, your guests have lingered long enough. Katherine needs her rest before we continue with her training."

 Vanderau swung away from the old gladio in agitation, but he knew he spoke the truth! He caught Vincent's eye and nodded his head toward the open doors of the conservatory. Immediately Vincent was at Katherine's elbow, "I loathe to break up such a delightful afternoon, but Miss Van Dermeer needs to rest before continuing her instructions."

 Katherine took Vincent's hand and allowed him to draw her from the people who were clustered around her. She paused and looked around for Vanderau, but he was already striding out of the conservatory with Rares and his son beside him. 

 The guests got into their autos and waved to Katherine as they rolled past her where she and Vincent stood at a respectable distance from Vanderau. The last car disappeared, and the gates closed. The uniformed men adjourned to their small cottage with a salute to Vanderau. Vincent sighed in restrained relief. "Well, that is over. If you will excuse me, Katherine, I have to return a call from my father."

 "Of course," Katherine replied, patting Vincent's arm. "I'll be fine on my own." 

 As Vincent disappeared Vanderau came up to join Katherine at the bottom of the steps. They stood silently for a moment, watching the last of the cars disappear down the long drive and leave the estate. Vanderau turned to her, "About earlier – I should explain. I -- we all were -- afraid for you. Etienne and I were just having the conversation about moving Gregor to the back pasture when his stablewoman came in and told us you had gone into Gregor's enclosure. I apologize."

 Katherine was surprised. An apology from Vanderau must be truly rare! He was not very comfortable apologizing, "It's all right, Dominus," Katherine said looking up at him. "I reacted without thinking. It's just that when I heard the whip and then – well, I'm sorry too."

 He nodded. Uncertain of what he should do next, he pointed down the walkway outside the front gallery, "Care to take a stroll with me?"

 Katherine's smile was like the sunlight parting storm clouds. "Yes, of course."

 They strolled down the path side by side. He was careful not to come in contact with her. Sauvageon was right, he had to keep his distance or be disqualified from the testing. "You know, Sauvageon remarked that he is certain you will be ready when the testing comes," Vanderau told her. 

 She scoffed and he looked over at her. She grinned up at him as she saw he was looking concerned. "Oh, he fusses the whole time we are working with the orbs, so I am surprised he'd tell you I was making such great progress."

 "I did tell you he was a martinet," Vanderau said. "I speak from experience, he is not relenting at all!"

 "No, not one bit!" Katherine declared. 

 "He will continue to exert pressure on you, mon coeur. You will need to push him away with all your might!" He stopped and turned to look down at her. She was so beautiful – so innocent! He cleared his throat, gathering up control of his emotions, "If you cannot, I may lose you." He told her and then immediately regretted how desperate it sounded. He watched her to see how she reacted.

 "Sauvageon says that must not happen," Katherine said matter-of-factly then began to feel that warmth begin to grow in her solar plexus, it felt like the heat of the sun and while it was pleasurable for her she could tell he was drawn to her, and he moved away. "Sauvageon says, I am to be the Vanderau blade."

 "More than that, Katherine," he said then he turned and stepped away on the path. She followed as he started walking again. "I must not interfere – no more than I already have. I wanted you to have every opportunity to come to the testing with the same chance as the other Potentials. But I must not be disqualified from the testing. So, if I seem distant or harsh with you it is not what I want, but it is necessary."

 "I understand. I will work hard with Sauvageon," Katherine told Vanderau. "I am trying to understand what he is trying to do, but sometimes he's meticulously coiling around me, and I'm stuck in the center. He takes his time and makes me feel comfortable around him."

 "Don't let his age fool you, mon coeur," Vanderau said, "Never let your guard down, not even for one moment. It is his job to try to break you down and he will not hesitate to do just that."

 "I know," Katherine replied. "By nature, I'm a very suspicious person!"

 Vanderau chuckled. "I believe Vincent can attest to that."

 She had to laugh at the thought of Vincent being sent away the first time. "I was very rude, but he was determined."

 "He knew how important it was, to me." He said and again he stepped back away from her, putting distance between them. They had reached the end of the brick walk. He opened the double doors at the end of the front gallery, and she stepped in and turned to him as he closed and locked the doors behind them. "I may be gone early in the morning, mon coeur. Promise me you will stay away from Gregor – at least until I get back."

 "How long will you be gone?" She asked and she felt her cheeks grow hot. She was a complete teenager around him. He grinned over at her, he liked the idea she would miss him! 

 She realized he was acting like a shy teenager too! He smoothed a hand over his black hair. "Not long, but you know how to reach me."

 She nodded. "Well, I hope you have a safe trip. I overheard Vincent say my French teacher arrives tomorrow."

 "Merci mon coeur. Je vous varrai plus tard ce soir." He said softly and bowed. "I will see you later this evening at dinner."

 Katherine nodded and walked back up to the entrance hall. She found Vincent sitting on the staircase steps waiting for her. He leaned back on his elbows. "So, you have won the hearts of the family allies, Katherine." He got to his feet, and together they began to ascend the stairs, "Did the Dominus explain anything to you?"

 "Some," Katherine answered. 

 Vincent smiled. "He had to be very careful, if he even so much as touched you, the other families would know during the testing. It would disqualify him from even being in the Oculus when you are tested. You would become some other family's blade."

 "And yet I am here in his home. I'm wearing his family crest as a member of his family. And being furnished with everything I could want."

 Vincent sighed, "Yes, all true. But all of this is to bring you up to speed. The other Potentials have had weeks of preparation. The other Potentials are living with their Sept families, being protected by the family Indago, and are also being careful to limit contact with their Potential. The Dominus did go one step further in that he insisted that the families agree that you – his family Potential, be prepared for testing with the best and brightest instructors. That is why he brought Sauvageon out of retirement to train you. And the 'beast of Germany' does not come unless it is worth his while." Vincent replied, "Speaking of which, you are to join him in the conservatory at three o'clock." 

 "Should I bring a lead pipe or a candlestick?" Katherine quipped.

 Vincent chuckled and wagged a finger at her, "Shame on you Katherine or should I call you Miss Scarlet?" 

 She laughed and shooed him away from her as he leaned conspiratorially toward her. He nimbly moved out of the way and watched as she headed to her rooms. Vincent felt the phone vibrate, another call. He left in search of an empty study. Neither one of them saw Vanderau watching the interplay between them or the intense jealousy springing up from deep within his body! He turned away before it began to overwhelm him! He went in search of Sauvageon, the old gladio could help him compartmentalize these feelings at least until the testing, then he would have a place to put his emotions!